Dear NASA,
I read somewhere that voluptuous women
do well in zero-gravity environments.
This makes complete sense to me
(and the “ladies.”)
Trust me, I've seen the pictures—
and we want that.
Hear me out.
Gravity's a drag.
Bras are too ****** expensive.
I feel like I’d manage to look twenty-five
for another twenty-five years
if I could somehow
avoid the sandbaggage
that I'm doomed to inherit.
It's a comfortable thought
to picture the once distressed,
top-heavy lady population
floating in ecstasy,
brassiere-less and beaming—
soaking in a freedom so sweet
that a word just couldn't do it justice.
I think I speak for the whole
of my curvy comrades
when I say that we'd appreciate
your cooperation in getting the lead out
as you breach the final frontier.
Because let me level with you:
there are plenty of things in this world
that can bring a girl down—
our most enjoyable assets
should not be two of them.
Please join us in the fight to stay ****.
With the warmest gratitude,
B
© Bitsy Sanders, February 2014