Trying so hard
to straighten things out,
straighten myself out.
to untie,
unravel,
untangle.
all of the knots
in my stomach and
in my chest.
Life
is always leaving me a mess
leaving me broken
leaving me tired.
I'm sick of trying
to untie,
unravel,
untangle.
all of these
stupid
knots.

I'm the girl no one wants to be
I've always been to afraid to speak
So I can't hold myself up
When you knock me down
I just keep getting further in the ground
It seems like you're trying to dig me a grave
But I don't want to die
I've been counting day
Till I can get away
Far enough away
You'll never see me break

Broken Sleep!

My sleep tonight.
She flew out of the window.
Carried off on night jar's wings.
Seeking out the silent owl.
These ungodly hours.
Sleep drifted in abnormally.
Chased me.

Caught me unawares.
Just after nine I found repose.
Just a ****** mere doze.
Woke up at three with head of words.
A good night's sleep.
Much needed gift.

Now out of sleep so short I drift.
Finding words.
Totally miffed.
Brain on fire.
Going berserk.
Few short hours til I work.
Gee whizz, Livvi,
You're such a ****!

By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

Intertwined & engulfed.
Bodies tangled, hearts racing.
Mind spinning, lips numb.
The curve of your lips, the color in your eyes;
the touch of your body pressed softly against mine.
The words that are whispered, the tales that are told;
my heart falls for you, my feelings tenfold.
You tell me the words I secretly hope for,
but quickly vanish right out the front door.
I'm not naïve, I know it was true,
but why did I have to fall in love with you?
You were never mine & never can be,
so now I must let you go & rid you of me.
You were never mine, never mine to be;
you were only just a crush.. & you crushed me.

The difference between you and I
Is that I cannot tell a lie
Yet you live one

The difference between you and I
Is that I accept everyone
Yet you judge them

Then you get mad at the liars and judg-ers
And hope and pray that you don't meet another
Yet you are one

The difference between you and I
Is you don't care about feelings
You cut people open and keep peeling and peeling
Until there's nothing left

Yet you claim to advise

One day it'll all arise
Your deception, manipulation and numerous lies
One day you'll be the object of despise
& that's the difference between you and I.

I am the broken pocket watch you never fixed
I am the wrapping paper everyone eventually throws away
I am the paper you lecture your feelings on
I am the platte but I only seem to have red paint
I am the page in your favorite book that you skipped over because I wasn't important enough
I am the unread poem you never bothered to check out
I am the map you forgot to bring and left behind
I am the girl with peacock eyes who never seems to cry
I am the child with no fears except herself and you
I am the daughter you called sweetie and you're the one I called daddy

I am the one you said you'd never hurt.
a.c.

****** Up

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Not seen not heard not wanted
But that's just life isnt it?
People not caring

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Alone abused abandoned
Friends aren't there
Parents don't care

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Dejected deserted neglected
Living a lie
Begging to die

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Shattered crushed broken
Vitals failing
Everyone's bailing

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Exhausted ruined drained
Hopelessness surrounds her
Life is a blur

Just a ****** up girl with a ****** up life
Not seen not heard not wanted
But that's what life is isnt it?
*People not caring