Millee

Millee 22h

Suffocated
A flame snuffed
out before it could
ignite into a blaze
Relight me and kindle
my blaze

Millee Mar 25

aches

am i the monster?
or the monster in me?
am i truly that horrible?
or just what you want me to see?

the gaze staring back is empty,
the irises hollow,
my heart aches,
full of sorrow.

who am i?
worthless?
pathetic?
hopeless?

do i deserve help?
or to lay numb,
drowned by life and fear.
what's left for me: glum.

Millee Mar 22

break the chains

i'm finally free
i can finally be me
with no one to judge
who i chose to be

Millee Mar 19

hatred

i hate myself
i'm broken, bruised, battered—
a failure, a waste of space, something to be erased; a loser, pig, a mistake.
the words run rampant inside my mind, if only i could shut them out but i failed at that too.
a worthless ******* is all i am... and all i will ever be.

Millee Mar 19

loop

im tangled,
wrapped in tape measures
that will never read what
i desire

im glued
onto a scale
which determines
my worth

OVERWEIGHT

to watch the numbers lower
would be a miracle.
all my sacrifices
paying off...

but you're sick
sick with something killing you
something that must be fixed
force feed me till i can't fight back

FAILURE

then i return
to the sorry old loop
one that continues
as it determines my worth.

#anorexia #sick #overweight #bodyissues #help #treatment

Millee Mar 7

okay

no i'm not "okay"
one minute up, the next minute down
i can't tell what's me or what's not
are these voices mine?

the whispers inside
urge me to listen
to do as they say
and slowly fade away

Millee Mar 7

...

numb and drained
life is being ****** from me
its vibrant colors slowly fading to gray
leaving me empty

life has no meaning
i'm not living this way
only existing because im a coward
afraid to throw it all away

a pull of a trigger
a swipe of a knife
small simple things
to end my life

this isn't a plea
no i don't want your sympathy
go take it and use it
for someone other than me

#depression #suicide #suicidal #help #numb #hopeless