Millee

Millee 2d

i'm finally free
i can finally be me
with no one to judge
who i chose to be

Millee 5d

hatred

i hate myself
i'm broken, bruised, battered—
a failure, a waste of space, something to be erased; a loser, pig, a mistake.
the words run rampant inside my mind, if only i could shut them out but i failed at that too.
a worthless ******* is all i am... and all i will ever be.

Millee 5d

loop

im tangled,
wrapped in tape measures
that will never read what
i desire

im glued
onto a scale
which determines
my worth

OVERWEIGHT

to watch the numbers lower
would be a miracle.
all my sacrifices
paying off...

but you're sick
sick with something killing you
something that must be fixed
force feed me till i can't fight back

FAILURE

then i return
to the sorry old loop
one that continues
as it determines my worth.

#anorexia #sick #overweight #bodyissues #help #treatment

Millee Mar 7

okay

no i'm not "okay"
one minute up, the next minute down
i can't tell what's me or what's not
are these voices mine?

the whispers inside
urge me to listen
to do as they say
and slowly fade away

Millee Mar 7

...

numb and drained
life is being ****** from me
its vibrant colors slowly fading to gray
leaving me empty

life has no meaning
i'm not living this way
only existing because im a coward
afraid to throw it all away

a pull of a trigger
a swipe of a knife
small simple things
to end my life

this isn't a plea
no i don't want your sympathy
go take it and use it
for someone other than me

#depression #suicide #suicidal #help #numb #hopeless

Millee Feb 27

feel

empty and hollow
tired; full of sorrow
my heart aches but i can't feel it
can't feel the pain when life hits
i'm numb

i don't know what to do
it hard to feel for you
when i can't even for me
who can i be
when i'm numb

Millee Feb 26

who am i?

how do i describe how i feel?
one hand free, other held down by guilt
but no longer chained to someone who i am not

who am i?
that i don't know
i've lost myself among opinions surrounding me

who do i be?
myself? what does that mean?
how do i find myself when i don't know what im searching for?