how can i feel nothing and everything all at the same time?
wanting to live but urging death
highs and lows leveled out to numb
why should i stay if i feel this way?
i crave to be free, to find me amidst this dark
please

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

You ugly, putrid thing
You don't deserve to sing
A mistake, a failed trial
On your lips, that better not be a smile

Look closer, and you'll see
All truths told by Me
I don't lie, only speak
So come and take a peek

"You're stronger than you know."
Well, duh
I hide things I'll never show

stagnant
nothing more than a placeholder
i can't feel—my emotions never real…
im an actress, a liar, a fake.
reactions churned out like a machine
i am numb—an emotionless husk going through the motions

how do i feel if what i feel isn't real?

am i the monster?
or the monster in me?
am i truly that horrible?
or just what you want me to see?

the gaze staring back is empty,
the irises hollow,
my heart aches,
full of sorrow.

who am i?
worthless?
pathetic?
hopeless?

do i deserve help?
or to lay numb,
drowned by life and fear.
what's left for me: glum.