left on an island out at sea, all my fears and worries surrounding me. i'm stranded, left only with the Voice inside my head; one thing that wants me dead. how do i escape? how do i become free? free the unrest residing in me. i cant swim. i'm not strong enough. the hate will only drag me down. please help me,

i'm drowning.

drowning in self hatred that i can't seem to overcome. the waves pull me further in, the glimpse of light dimming. i can't hold my breath much longer, sweet release finally seeping in. this is it, the end. my soul rests in the depths of the ocean, floating with misery.

silent tears
the incoherent cry for help
pain no one will hear.
pain no one will ever know.
they are shed when everything else is kept within.
when you are so alone, you have no shoulder to lean on.
the pain leaks from time to time through the corner of your eye, but it stays buried.
buried under the guilt, the shame, everything you throw away.
push your hurt out quietly—don't be a burden. no one wants your problems, your pain—no one wants you they say.
please, someone take my pain away.

Why would I eat if the lies inside me fill me up? 'Til there's nothing but half-truths trapped inside. I plead, scream, beg for someone to hear my cry but it's locked deep within me.
The pain I feel when I look in the mirror; why? Why do I hate myself?
Hate my hair,
my hips,
my thighs,
my stomach,
my smile.
I won't look anymore.
I can't bear to see who's staring back.
Shatter the mirror!
Distort the already broken image.
How much more damage could I do to myself before I'm through?
The scale wails when I approach; the fourth time in a day. When the numbers fall, I let out a sigh of relief, but when they rise…
What can I do?
What would you do if you couldn't be you?
Everyone's words are pointless. If its not the voice inside my head it doesn't matter. Nothing can satisfy my need to feel empty—to feel proud of the monster I’d become.