i can't breathe; everything suffocating

i close my eyes, breathe in and for a moment i can feel... but every inhale has an exhale. i push the air from my chest and im numb once again.

i wanna hold my breath. breathe in and never let go. fade away with life, but between each breath is death and oh how i'm suffocating

i don't know what i did
how i made you this way
the feelings you buried
things you won't say

how can i be there for you
if what you say is not true
you're not okay
you're a liar

i'm here for you
through thick and thin
but i can't be
when you won't let me in

do you know me?
i'm not what you see
my soul surrounded by walls
ones that stand tall
that's the part of me you'll never see
because if you did, you wouldn't want me

i'm broken

i'm 'rough around the edges' as they say
but i'm the one who made me this way
pushed everything good from my soul
that's why i'm empty; i'll never be whole
i'm not sure what to be
if not always empty

i'm broken

the lock tightens every day
you can't hear what i say
what i tell myself, what i tell her
this person that is me, my silencer
i'm sorry for what i hide
what i lock deep inside

i'm broken

biting my tongue each day
thinking about what to say
what i want you to know
the things i can't show
would you still love me?
or would you see what i see?

i'm a monster...

how can i feel nothing and everything all at the same time?
wanting to live but urging death
highs and lows leveled out to numb
why should i stay if i feel this way?
i crave to be free, to find me amidst this dark
please

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

You ugly, putrid thing
You don't deserve to sing
A mistake, a failed trial
On your lips, that better not be a smile

Look closer, and you'll see
All truths told by Me
I don't lie, only speak
So come and take a peek

"You're stronger than you know."
Well, duh
I hide things I'll never show