I think my favorite person was me two or three years ago.
This is not a good thing,
I have been told.
I was really ill back then.
I ate very strangely.
I ate cheerios,
But everything else had to be thrown up.
I would only eat at 2 am when everyone was asleep,
And then I'd throw up and cry for ten minutes,
Only ten minutes,
And then I'd go back to sleep
I lost some weight back then,
About forty pounds in a year.
The doctors asked a lot of questions.
So did my therapist.
But looking back now,
I like how I looked back then.
My stomach was practically flat,
And I ran every day.
I did a lot of self harming,
I still do now,
But back then it was intense.
It took a lot of self control to do it,
And I would like to start all these habits again.
I tried to **** myself so many times back then,
But at least I was putting all my energy into something.
I broke hearts back then,
And I turned girls,
Which I liked to do.
It was a horrible, nasty habit.
I had some friends back then,
And I don't miss them,
But I miss going out and doing things,
And breaking laws,
And having fun.
I was a horrible, emotional wreck,
And no one gave a ****,
And neither did I,
And to be honest neither did you.
But I was smaller,
And I didn't eat,
And I hurt myself every day,
And I was a heart breaker,
And I was a law breaker,
And I was a lone wolf,
And I was the biggest mess in the whole wide world that revolves around me.
But hey,
I was smaller.
And I think that's worth all the other things.