Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
324 · May 2015
Over again
Paige May 2015
I know that whatever those
couple weeks of enjoying each other's
company were are over now,
because you ignored me again.
322 · Sep 2014
Overflow
Paige Sep 2014
Have you ever just
wanted to cry so badly,
but you can't?
Like, stuff that usually
would bring a tear to your
eye, just doesn't anymore.
But you're not invincible to
all of it.
You just save it.
Stick it in that file cabinet
with all the other ****
in it in the back of your head.
Until one day,
it's like something happens
and all the people in the office
inside your brain just pick
up handfuls of files
and toss them in the air.
And you stand there and watch
as all of that paper just
sinks to the floor.
But eventually you have to
clean up the mess and throw
it away,
and all is okay;
and then your file cabinet
is empty.
Until it starts to get full again..
322 · Jan 2015
Bear heart
Paige Jan 2015
Here, in what I guess must
be my favorite spot.
Cross legged on top of the
sheets,
chain smoking and
writing,
I am comfortable.
Watching rich people get awards,
between reading Bukowski,
the bear he gifted last Valentines Day
lays on its back beside me.
The bear makes for good company,
but he would be even better.
Because even though the silence
is sweet,
there's nothing more delicious
than sitting next to the
person I love.
322 · May 2015
Wine
Paige May 2015
Everybody's getting wine
drunk on a Saturday night.
321 · Apr 2014
Boys
Paige Apr 2014
Boys are cute.
They do cute things.
They eat cereal before bed,
and drink chocolate milk.
They run around,
constantly smiling
and laughing.
They sleep in late
and then apologize.
Boys grab your ***
in public,
and then walk away
with a wink.
They smell good,
they're always warm,
and they make excellent pillows.
I love boys.

I am so straight... lol
320 · Jun 2015
In case this gets to you
Paige Jun 2015
I've been thinking about you
a lot lately.
Daisy day dreaming about what
our life could be like.
Long nights spent talking and laughing,
shared with good ****,
and drinks.
But most of all, happiness.
A n d
    Y     o  u.
a n   d
YOU!
Paige Mar 2014
I can't do this anymore.
I know you have problems
but I do too,
and Im not strong
enough to carry all
of this weight,
for you.
You say you love me,
but you don't show it.
You say I'm the best
thing in your life,
although I am never a
part of it.
How can you be
my shoulder to cry on
when you're the
reason I'm crying.
I have tried my best.
But that's all I have.
I have nothing left
to give,
nothing left for
you to take.
I am so sick of
feeling this way.
318 · Jun 2015
Love is love
Paige Jun 2015
I saw a rainbow on my way
home tonight.
I can't think of a better way to end
such an important day for love.
Equality matters.
It felt good to come home
to my house in a new country
where love is being celebrated.
My heart is glowing for all of those that have fought so hard for the right
to happiness.
And for my brother.
This one is for him.
:)
318 · Mar 2015
Lying
Paige Mar 2015
Maybe I'm a compulsive liar.
I just lied to my boyfriend
about not being at home already,
because I got off work an hour ago,
and could've come over,
but instead went home.
And then I got caught in my lie,
and talked my way out of it.
And now I feel so guilty,
because I know what he's thinking,
when really I'm just insane.
And I can't say that either because
then he'll wonder what else I've been
hiding.
And if I wasn't actually hiding
something that wouldn't be a problem.
My conscience is too good.
You would think that by now
I wouldn't learned to stop
lying.
Paige Sep 2014
Starting over always sounds
so good,
until it's too late and you
realize that what you really
wanted was there all along.
But will you be brave
and try to turn around,
and turn back time,
even though the possibility of
rejection is not in your favor?
Or will you be brave and
continue trying to move on,
and make the best out of
what you have.
But, the thing is.
It's too easily forgotten that
this is the only life we will
have a chance to take
full advantage of.
So when you get to that
fork in the road,
which path will you take,
and will you be happy with
your choice?
317 · Dec 2014
Under the covers
Paige Dec 2014
I dream about you every night
as though I'm trying to
make up for what should've been,
even if it was only for a little while.
I made the wrong choice way
back then.
There is no way of going back
and changing my own mind now,
but a girl can dream.
317 · Oct 2014
Five minutes
Paige Oct 2014
I was listening to the radio
this morning and someone repeated
a quote
they'd heard,
You can't make old friends.
So, call someone you love
they said.
Even for five minutes.
Funny, that I've tried to do this
very thing with him before.
Just calling to say I'm sorry.
But it's too late.
That's probably what he'd
say anyways.
Although, is it ever really too late
to make things right?
316 · Sep 2014
Breathe
Paige Sep 2014
It was so cold this morning
you could see your breathe.
I sat in my car with the window
down,
trying to air out the smell
of cigarettes and ****,
and I noticed I could see
the air.

It is almost October,
and this is Ohio.
Paige Jun 2014
If I
didn't write
poetry,
I would
l
o
     sss
e
e

my
m i n d ..
315 · Sep 2014
How was your day
Paige Sep 2014
So.
Technically I've been kicked
out of my first place.
Not on the street because
I couldn't pay the bills,
but because I am not
welcome anymore.
I'm going to try to be back
at my parents by today.
Honestly it's fine.
Just means that now I'll have
a lot more money.
But what does bug me is how
I am so unwelcome everywhere
I go.
I'm sure my parents aren't thrilled
to have me back,
my room mates booted me,
my co-workers pretend I'm
not there,
and my boyfriend doesn't care
that I wasted 30 miles of gas
to pick him up last night,
only to find an empty building,
and no phone call.

But it's all okay.
I tried it out the other day,
and deciding to just "wing it",
worked out pretty well.
I ended up with a 12$ bowl
that changes color,
and a great mood.

So, I have a new plan.
314 · Nov 2014
Wallpaper
Paige Nov 2014
It feels good to know
that you were suffering
through the same pain,
as I was
at one point in time.
To know what you were
really thinking,
instead of the rumors
and whispers I pick up
on the street.
I'm peeling back the
layers of unspoken thoughts
that have built up over time,
in hopes that one night
I can go to sleep without
any regrets.
312 · Nov 2014
A little lonely
Paige Nov 2014
The holidays always make
me feel lonely.
I wish he was with me.
I wish I was with him.
I'm thankful for the love
I have,
because there is no one else
like him.
To my handsome, peach - Dylan
312 · Apr 2014
How to be good
Paige Apr 2014
It is very simple
really.
Give your all to
someone,
and hope they do
the same.
Sometimes it's hard,
and temptation
is always two
steps away,
but treat your significant
other as you
want to be treated.
Give them all of
your wants,
needs and
desires.
And just L O V E
311 · Jun 2015
Trials of ordinary life
Paige Jun 2015
I sit here on my bed,
in my hot room,
with a 1.5 liter bottle of wine
beside me.
Im going to drink the rest,
in hopes of sleep,
and because the bottle is cold
against my legs.
Here I am.
In my natural habitat,
surrounded by uncomfortable
feelings and anger.
Charles Bukowski lays open
in front of me,
but I've already read it.
Besides I am supposed to be
asleep right now.
I won't even tell you how early
I have to be awake.
It just sounds pathetic.

I'm not depressed, just over it.
And I'm okay with that.
310 · Sep 2014
After dark
Paige Sep 2014
Tonight I am miss
Mary Jane.

Wh o a r e y  o    u u u
310 · Oct 2014
Finally
Paige Oct 2014
I think I'm finally
ready to move on.
It was so easy to be
wanderlust when I didn't
know where you are.
But I do now.
It would never be the same again,
even if we both wanted it to be.
Our lives have moved in
two opposite directions,
and I can see clearer now
that we will never be an us.
It's sad but true.
I'm letting go of you.
310 · Oct 2014
It all works out
Paige Oct 2014
I know it may seem like
nothing.
Or maybe I'm just
a ******.
But either way, he
wanted to see how I was.
How I am.
I knew I couldn't be the only one.
He misses me.
I knew I wasn't crazy.
It's been over 10 months since
we last spoke,
but I haven't forgotten.
And apparently he hasn't either.
This is seriously good news.
Everything works itself out.
308 · Mar 2015
Sunday
Paige Mar 2015
I wonder if you think
about how I'm just not there
to talk to anymore; every day.
I think I just want my abscense
to be noticed.
By you.
Or someone else.
Has anyone ever mentioned me to you?
Asked, " Hey, what happened to that girl you always used to be with?"
And I wonder how you would respond.

I hate that I don't know the
answer to that question anymore.
307 · Oct 2014
After I smoked a bowl
Paige Oct 2014
I just had to stop and delete
everything I had written
because when I read back over it,
I realized I was about to
try and put garbage out
and hopefully get a like.
I apologize anyway.
I just feel different these
days, like something's got
ahold of my spirit.
I feel like I'm a few more
bad weeks away from
having a mental breakdown.
Caution: keep the ***** away from me, otherwise you'll have a
sobbing nineteen year old
wreck in your lap.
I don't know how to end
this poem because I haven't
come to a conclusion.
307 · Jun 2014
I finished another one
Paige Jun 2014
I read
Slouching toward Nirvana
by Charles Bukowski
in a few hours,
but first I
rolled a few joints
and was sad
when I turned
the last page.
It makes me feel
good to know that at
one point in time
somebody existed
that has thought the same
thoughts I have.
305 · Jun 2014
What I'm doing
Paige Jun 2014
It is 1:22 am
and I am at work.
Completely bored
out of my mind,
with nothing left to do.
I can hear the clock
ticking slowly.
There are 4 empty
desks around me.
Everybody else works
during the day.
I got locked out during
my smoke break,
and scared the ****
out of the only other
lady here.
when I peeked my head
through her window.

I have a bowl calling
my name at home.

I still have half an hour left.
304 · Jun 2015
Saturday
Paige Jun 2015
I woke up on the wrong side
of the bed this morning.
Hair a mess,
makeup smeared on my face.
Too early.
After "getting ready" I fell back asleep,
until I had to leave,
only to step out my door and
find my car blocked in.
After all of that
I bought a pack of cigarettes.
I'm disappointed in myself
for wasting the money.
But I needed one.
Drove to work in the rain
while my car was acting funny,
and did my makeup in the rear view mirror.
It can only get better from here right?
I just want to go home and watch
Orange is the new black.
But I have my dads party to go to,
and my boyfriend to pick up.

Maybe I just won't
303 · Oct 2014
Great
Paige Oct 2014
I am the type of girl who
dances like a diva
in her ratty car
to bad music.
Wakes up in a bad mood
for no reason on a beautiful
day,
and cries because her shoe strings
got in a knot.
I bite my nails,
and pull my hair and
smoke too much ***.

I will never be perfect
but I'll still be great.
303 · Mar 2014
Losing
Paige Mar 2014
I am mourning the loss
of my writing as
though each poem
was an actual person.
I haven't stopped crying
all day.
I'm lost and empty.
The last year
of my life,
just gone.
And some were real jewels.
I really felt proud
when I saw the
lightening turn yellow.
It gave me hope that
I was good enough to
actually fulfill my
dream one day.
I told him about
it and he said,
I don't think that's dumb
at all
It felt good to know
that some one understood,
that my heart hurts.
302 · Sep 2014
I hate my job
Paige Sep 2014
I wish I could say
I don't give a fuuck.
You all expect too much.
I'm still new to this,
I'm 19,
I failed out of college.
I don't know any of this stuff.
And sometimes when they
talk it turns into a
foreign language.
I just want to yell at
everybody to back off.
Give me a chance.
Fuuuuccckk
But their job is to hate
on me..
But today I really could care
less.. I'm flying.
301 · Mar 2015
Box
Paige Mar 2015
Box
I had a conversation that
really opened my eyes to something
I didn't realize I was missing.
Maybe I really can't forget you
because you never told me
to move on.
The type of connection
I had with you wasn't one
that could just be left unanswered.
You never said to go ahead,
and give up.
So maybe that's why I still have
this question locked away in a box
that I don't open, because it's
too dusty.

Do you still want to be with me?
301 · Feb 2015
Nights
Paige Feb 2015
I finally caved and dyed
my hair again,
after months of letting it go,
just too lazy to care.
I came out of the shower
with the same off blonde
color I've had for years.
No roots!

I should be in bed,
but it's always hard to sleep
alone after laying next to someone
the night before.
I enjoy being by myself,
but I've never enjoyed an empty bed.

He wakes me up at 3 in the morning
with kisses that turn into more,
we smoke cigarettes,
and I go back to sleep as he
continues to stay up into
the night.
I like it this way.

Not the way it is now.
300 · Jul 2014
Running in circles
Paige Jul 2014
If something ever actually
went right, and
turned out the way it should,
then I guess that's what they call
death.
Because nothing is ever good,
or right in life.
You change jobs in hopes that
it makes you happy,
and makes you money,
only to find out you never should have
come here.
You follow your brain instead
of your heart,
and you end up loving two people
at the same time.

I am beginning to think that
everything and everyone is too
good to be true.
Actually,
being alive is too good to be true.
300 · Jun 2014
Hello
Paige Jun 2014
When you work alone,
late at night,
with no one to talk to,
eventually you
have conversations
with yourself.
Not out loud,
just inside.
And it's never about
anything you'll remember
later.
No? Just me?
****.
Well, maybe I'm
talking to you,
reader.
Hello.
299 · Jul 2014
I should've known better
Paige Jul 2014
ha.
what kind of idiot am I?
I messaged him and asked,
Can we talk sometime?
And a little part of me
really expected him to answer.

But of course he isn't going to.
He has nothing left to say.
He is the one that said we shouldn't
be friends.

But god ******,
this isn't fair.
It's not what I wanted.

Why can't I get some closure?
Why does it have to end like this?
Why does it have to end at all..
299 · Nov 2014
I loved you
Paige Nov 2014
I loved you because
you are that little boy
in the picture frame
on the wall in your living room.
You are the only one
who didn't turn your back
on me when I needed someone most.
You are the guy
that just wants to take care
of his dad and doesn't
even think about his needs.
You are fearless and honest.
I loved you because you
were everything that everyone
thought you weren't.
I loved you because I
knew *you.
298 · Mar 2014
As I pause to hit a bowl
Paige Mar 2014
I'm sorry I got high
and my fingers can't
stop writing sentences
about him.
But he is my muse.
The perfect amount
of true insanity,
in this corrupt universe.
And I just wanna tell him
everything.
298 · Dec 2014
Stuck
Paige Dec 2014
There's no other light
in the room besides the cherry
burning the end of my cigarette.
Just like the rest,
I write better in the dark.
Laying in this bed, and
staring out the window,
I realized I'm living,
but not really; in
my own prison cell.
Trapped and stuck in one
place, unable to move on.
297 · Sep 2014
First day of the week
Paige Sep 2014
I got a little too high
before work today.
So I'm sitting here,
in my car in the parking lot
trying to sober up my
eye ***** as quickly as I can.
But I'm excited to get back to
work, that weekend was too
looooonnggg.
And there's something comforting
about routine.
Besides my outfit
I look terrible today.
I shoulda washed my hair,
and I shouldn't have gotten
high.
But,

It's a Monday.
296 · Mar 2014
Why I should be high
Paige Mar 2014
I should have
gotten ****** before
I came to class today.
I should be drinking
my coffee like it's
a bag of chips,
because I have the munchies.
Bust in the door,
smelling like Bob Marley,
because I haven't washed
my hair yet.
My eyes should be
bloodshot,
and dying to close.

But instead I sit here
sober.
I should have come to
class ******
because I don't do
the things I want to do
enough anymore.
296 · Mar 2015
Honestly
Paige Mar 2015
Why did he have to bring up the past.
Remind me of when he wrecked his bike the night before he
would be gone for three weeks
by showing me his scar.
Letting me know that he remembers us.
He was so generous and polite,
and he was flirting with me;
lightly.
I missed him so ******* much.
How did I ever let myself get here,
so much that I feel this way?
And how come I never gave us
a chance. Like I was afraid to say what the hell I really wanted when I could have it.
It only lasted two hours,
but I could've stayed all night,
enjoying the sound of his voice.
I'm glad I did it though because now I know for sure that I still love him.
295 · Sep 2014
What I've learned
Paige Sep 2014
One of the most important
things I've learned since
becoming an adult, is
that other people hate to see
you happy.
They will try everything they
can to drag you down to
their level of misery.
The only obligation you
have as a person is to fight
for what creates that happiness
and to listen to no one but you.
Have a good relationship?
Someone will try to convince you
that it isn't.
Have a good job?
Someone will try to take it
away from you.
Have a good self-esteem?
Ha. Not for long sucker. People will make sure that you hate what you have to see in the mirror every day.
But you don't have to listen.
Turn off your ears and turn on
your brain.
And never let anyone ruin your life.
294 · Dec 2014
Just to see
Paige Dec 2014
I drive through the town
that helped us meet;
every day on my way to
work,
just hoping to catch a glimpse
of you.
I thought I saw your car at
the gas station that I didn't
need to go to,
so I pulled in and my heart was
pounding in my chest.
I walked in and knew instantly that
you weren't there.
But I just had to see.
293 · Nov 2014
I miss you
Paige Nov 2014
He said he missed me
too..
He missed me.
That's all I ever needed
to hear.
293 · Apr 2014
Birthday blues
Paige Apr 2014
Maybe I secretly
end up setting my
expectations too
high,
because I always
wake up on
my birthday feeling
lonely and disappointed.
I just wish I could
feel special and important
for just one day.
292 · Jul 2015
Three hours in
Paige Jul 2015
I just feel so annoyed.
Like I could quit my job
and not care.
I don't know what's been
wrong with me.
It's just been one of those
days.
Weeks.
Years.
291 · Apr 2015
Like mad
Paige Apr 2015
I kept asking him,
"Why aren't you still mad?"
And he kept saying,
"Because I love you and I'm
not going to hold a grudge."

And for some reason that made
me less angry,
and more sad.
291 · May 2015
4:23 am
Paige May 2015
If the point was to make me
jealous or **** me off,
it worked.
290 · Aug 2014
Why I love Sundays
Paige Aug 2014
B
    R
E
      A
K    

  F
A
    S
T

WITH

T
  H
      E
B
      E
           A
                T
                   L
               E
            S
.
.
.
.
289 · Apr 2014
I'm drowning
Paige Apr 2014
It's as though someone
tied bricks to my feet,
and threw me into
a pool.
I can see everything
dissapearing in front
of my eyes,
but I can't stop the
water from filling
my lungs.
Next page