its been real
ready to die

i tried to make it right
thats fine
*******

vacancy is clean empty is relief

i dont want to destroy what i have of you

read what im saying because its for you i am for you

writers block is a myth if u have to push something out just for the sake of writing it u shouldnt be writing it its garbage

you are a liar annn so much better than me

dead but cant die
idk how to fix it

i hate so many things
cant fix cant change

fix yourself and find what you are looking for

gonna wake up in the morning
and not remember i wrtoe any of this ****
sit in this chair
read it again
feel completely embaressed
until i smoek and drink again

try telling every one in your life
exactly how u feel like

thethings u dont tell any1 the things u always have been hiding from

thethings in the back of your mind that only you know and u dont want anyone else to ever know

see who stays

see who goes

walking aimlessly thru complete dark no where to come from no where to end up

i create monsters
suffer
then let them go into the world

honestly disgusted that i ever tried to give you a part of myself thats the only thing i ever will regret that i didnt know myself enough to understand i deserved better than your sadistic controlling mentality

success doesnt make u an artist
money doesnt make u a more worthy *******

Slowly loosing purpose

have to be two people now
emotionless
and barely holding on

real life is discovering
that what u are is something
that any onewho ever loved u
cannot accept u as what u have to be
and the realization that this is the reality
and that the past is everything
and that it is never changing
and what u thought was love+reality
isnt real and doesnt mean anything
and everything u always believed
about consciousness + dreaming
was confused completely

come here msg me

life is a burden so we work towards what is after not knowing where we are going

when you do things for people
they stay
maybe they would not have stayed
if you didnt do those things
sad
when you always want others to be happy
in spite of yourself
mostly
they will stay and more will come
when there are too many
it makes you crazy
and you try to be loved
by everyone
and the other half
becomes so selfish
no one else matters
then they go away. SSome,
didnt receive the same treatment
for near as long so they wait
people go to hospitals
people die
people go away
and then its calm
sad and calm
until it starts over again

idk how i kept it for so long

i dont care

love u

you are ******* nothing

true selfishness is deeper and stronger than what u do with your money

all that you write of me
im done//its time for change
you never read what i write

and i read that **** everyday

you never show emotion
even when you cry
expressionless at my funeral
dry eyes all in white
money, ***, comfort
thats all u need in life
as your past pours down
on familial wings
and pulls you from my sight

i consume myself

i am just a better human being than u thats all there is to say

id do anything to give u anything that u want

never ready to be alone again even if it is for  a short time

i need to die before one of my cats die icant handle it

read this ******* garbage

some things need time to be alive

care too much u are needy
care too little you are an *******
there is no in between

i dont know what the **** im saying ever

the things that make u wanna rip your face off lack of control
conflicting feelings
confusion
regret

why can’t u say anything I’m saying everything I have to say and u can’t say anything

starts over

tired of feeling like **** ignored displaced while u go on like nothing is happening

everyone understands my problems except for me

world full of artists muted by doctors medicine

punctuation and grammar are just limitations to otherwise flawless forms of communication

there is no point to this anymore

not here to just exist with anyone

learn how to be openly selfish
u will need it to be alive