her dark aspect speaks lifting auras
lighting candles
speaking soft and frail
convoluted distorted messages
leaked  like viscous heaven from dead eyes
when the opiates subside
she rides
monochrome + ****** up
like the march of a thousand upstart flies
into patches where she leaves
symbols inthe passing night
hearts so harlequin
they moan with lust
when strangers shadow by
never really caring
never understanding
that it is that golden crown
that twists her red dress
into deeper sadness
I am enthralled by the storys that you tell,
just as I am in love with the shape of your smile
does he speak to you the way that I do
does he think the way that you and I do
i dont care if im absolved do you
i dont care that it went this far do you
red aspect speaks
repeating in my dreams
this is what I truly want

this is an autobiography
that was never meant to be
by ruined writing
in close proximity to my imagined enemies
most people look at you and see
what they want to see
what they want you to be
when they try to talk to me
like I’m coasting in fantasy
like I live in liquid dreaming
like the point wasn’t missed completely
like I love to hate myself constantly
destroying yourself is easy
when you already live in hiding
learn this, protest that,
protest, protest, protest
with plastic signs over the child labor on your back
do your best and use all your influence to help
when your done throw all the clothes and signs in the trash
use, use, use, each piece of your contracted shell
let me come into this, let me come help
a barn-burning beast/\waving a rawhide flag in hell
and in the confusion of the swell
the world would pause in violet while i immolate myself
I just want God to help
finish what he started
when he crafted a trenchant well
filled it with poison(left to our own devices)
formed a base with rotting corpses(and the wings of fallen angels)
then crafted a mountain of material wealth
where he strokes his giant Lucifer
over the sad orphan eyes of heavens window wells
teach us something that is ******* worth knowing
away from self importance through blunted stories
please show me - echelon these KINGS
faceless banners raising war torn cities inside of me
or show us how to take old bones from peaceful death
and transmute them +multiply them into water and bread
or how to relieve out my pores
and bleed out this stress
or to how fall onto the floor
and end up somewhere next to heaven
lights:
friends of friends of friends, magnanimous pretense
exit, we escape to enter again

nights:
drinks and lead
absinthe, escaped just to enter again

life:
it’s reaching for a bottle high up on a shelf
Never learned how to live after spilling milk
makes me panic hard alone and wanna **** myself

death:
glasshouse debris pours out
and the skin won’t grow back
nails curl onto coffin doors
with all the SAD/] SAD[/SADDD
where the parasites are only Jesus
with diamond fangs and silver masks

starting to believe in none of this is real

you charmed the life out of me
like an umbilical beast
i was sleeping then you woke me
with the hell of green new spring
weary tones your voice alone
wandered room to room
filled with cigarette smoke
no new ways that arise
no more delicate smiles
just ice jagged pale chest
rising like an uninvited guest,
from a frozen hall long + dead +
repressed + tightening a noose around my neck
please excuse this mess
gargantuan willows enrage the yard
ivy fingers ice-picking
sobbing graves below
flowers all groan, beneath the weight of new snow,
so they begin frantic
to acclimate and grow,
veining like the frothing blood,
cob-webbing the dining room floor
with a fist of bones,
gods hand reached in through the snow
closed the door
we don’t hear from him
not anymore

u would give anything to feel alive
the day after you died
I saw your face in a cloud in the sky

darker crows take a walk
through your mangled picture space
as u serpent by
and melt the frames
while I slither out your past in shame
il rot in here
its for u okay
if it makes u warm and less afraid
ill stand in here alone forever
and never ******* move again
u can tell them i am anything
when they ask you u can say
when he touched me
it felt so lifeless
like a worm taken from his grave
and they will believe you
every word you say
no one believes in a sad liar
or in the palaces he creates
ill be your god i/\ heaven
and you can streamline everything i make
drive an 8 sided truck, filled with human garbage + stuff
and let your carriage wheels tread the waste
(it could be so much simpler)
(walk in with a lighter)
(and burn those newspaper gates)
but when they ask you
its all made of paper?
how does he stand so still in the flames?
when you become quiet
they will watch u grow in the silence
u will know the only words to say
I told him that i loved him
until i realized what i was saying
he walks around in there with his head chopped off
(it scares me)
drinking a bottle full of waste
quiet
always quiet
i die in your silence
always silent
******* kills me everyday

but i’ll be your motion picture and mirror what you window
to watch u inhale these seething lakes
next to a thousand blackveiled widows
star-dusted in liver
horrid mouths foaming sea spray
please come this way
ill walk out my head
its all for u okay
refuse eternity
refuse redemption
refuse to even turn away
passing unreasonable
approaching undeniable
livingin the cold with my shame
come and take my ******* phone
i buried it in the snow 8 months ago
the irony of the timing is making me gag
**** life **** timing **** mistakes
this is what i needed to say
i never left u alone or abandoned that frame
and u have barely been searching
and ive been dead in here for days