too long to understand
complete lack of control over anything
if u are searching
u always know where to find me

jealousy is all consuming

she thinks i am making it hard for no reason and tells me to be happy with myself and all i dont know and everything that comes out is because i dont understand why she doesnt need me and i need her more than anything

GOD
he/shedoesnt ******* care

u are completely beautiful to me and so is everything u say and u do

theer are so many stars named after you

i wish i could explain any of this im not expecting forgiveness i just need to say now what i couldnt say before to try and live

not giving into this **** **** u u know what u are and what this is

rewriting the bible  
turning it into ****

am i okay, no
is anyone or anything okay
are you okay

idk how to be alive

**** your god and **** your flag
we’re all human in this place

screams seeping thru the holes in the walls
stuff them full of tshirts and pillows to try and dull the sound
how do u repeat something you never learned once
how do u forget something you never could have thought of yourself
i feel everything clinging and i just want it to go away
i cant live with whats inside of me and i cant give it away
idk how i got here idk how else to explain
there is nothing worse than living against the things you cant change

ill never cry again

you come around for a while
before u sleep and smile
knowing its only when youarer dreaming
and i hate being alive

i have no soul

i love you so much more than i could ever love myself
you love yourself much more than you could ever love any1 else

showing your emotions openly and living with it after is way harder than pretending that you have none and trying to rationalize that feeling sadness depression anxiety and need is just irrational and childish just makes u fake not strong

eternally bored with reality

we’re human
we aren’t perfect
& acting like we are only does harm to people & ourselves especially

im scared to read your emails because it could be the last thing you say to me before you sleep

nobody knows how ****** everything really is

What is love to you is not love to me

nothing is at all the same without you

some people do deserve to die but it is never the people who want it more than anything

cant handle distance

so scared that it went too far
its not like i ever thought u needed me
jus thought i could eventually earn your heart
its already gone too far
and i dont know how to handle
displacement
or dark
you cant take something perfect
and combine it with these scars
and u are
and i know it
heart is only temporary
and u need something strong
someone that listens to silence
and realizes when they are wrong

it isnt about writing its about honesty

i had everything i needed to be happy
and i have never been happy my whole life

my parents relationship used to make me sad, now i feel happy for them and sad for whatever im missing to ever be able to have something like that

i will say a million things i regret before tomorrow

i just want people to ******* think

full of everything that matters and the world keeps trying to **** it

almost every1 will *******
almost never means they love you

now im going to live my own way and im not going to feel guilty anymore for the things they cant understand or see

no idea how to continue