today i told my mom i want to work in the cemetery
she laughed like i was joking but i told her i meant everything
i wanna dig up the graves and put the flowers on the faces
i want to live next to hoarded silence that only closed coffins can save and eat with the worms when im slipping from what is real
and feel some ******* peace when war is all i feel
i want to live i want to die
i want to be alive for ten seconds without needing to take my life
i want to love like i feel love can be like
but everyone is so ******* different and no one loves like its right
i told her its like im a god like i could fly
and river like the heavens crying god from the skys
i rip out every heart that ever tried to live inside  
mastered the forgiveness of people who said they would never lie
and plastered their faces into the corners my mind
everyone is a lie every god is a lie
and my face is melting hell to hold off the parasites
they still **** me with every bite and its a lie its the lie
its what i know is hiding inside
I am what is never mentioned and what goes there to die

i would have done anything for the people that i thought i loved without care for how it affected me

thankful for everyone here that has tried to help me even though you dont know u helped me

dont expect me to care now when everything is going good when u never cared from the beginning

why does everybody want to put a label on **** *******
let **** be what it is

love my family

please stop saying u will pray for me i dont want your god and it bothers me that your delusion is something that you think i need

come to show u what dead really means

nothing feels low like this

there is always 1 other human that relates

i still have things to say

going to be myself from now own and whatever happens happens

everything i ever respected or believed comes out in what you say

love lasts forever
story close to ending

you love when you need to
i speak when i have to
and its the right thing to do

i dont trust in ****
i dont believe in ****

she said ill stay until 2 the rest of the night and the days after are nothing until im sleeping next to you

this world is confused and ****** up not just you we are in a place where everyone trys to fill their emotional vacancy with money and success it doesnt get better as u get older it gets harder and worse idk what to say anymore idk anything

honestly i think of so many things to say to people who say stupid **** to me but then i realize its going to make them talk to me more and i dont want that, letting go and onto the next people are going to be dumb regardless if u argue or not

house on fire
life on fire

i want to do every drug in the world at the same time

i just want love like it really can be like

everyone deserves so much more than this

some people see all things with finality and to others everything is another open door

death is the only thing that can truly fix everything

not everything is about you

maybe we should encourage peoples differences instead of trying to hide them with pills

i had a good night for the first time in a long time and it ******* ***** that it has to end but at least i know i can have them and that it is a possibility that this could happen again

you inspire me more than you could ever know

look down when im writing like there's blood on my hand
life touchss my shoulder in the absence of death
muss be dripping from the nostril from its bobbing crystal head
i know its because i pulled out yellow flowers from spaces they left
stop beggin u remember he says to a doe shaking water from her chin
into your hands put them into your hands i put it into your hand
i hope u understand this that even tho they are full
they are as good as dead //flashing half eaten hearts off a cold gluttonous god// wrapped in a moth eaten blanket
mine was never open enough to be filled with regrets i know
that all we ever meant is what is left
i know that all i know to dipsense is death
ive been worming into and undergoing more than a modicum of stress
pale birds still sleep when they bleed out their pigment
i know because i watch them out my window
when the moon lifts its head
they plead with the weather thru crowding lachrymal stems
I FEEL SO BAD cuz god its so obnoxious
when he beats his barbaric chest
then pleads and cries like a ***** when he cant hold his breath
where was the last time u felt alive its not next to
or even around me who has given you life
even tho i never mean it even tho you always see it
im a creature with eyes i feed on unbelieving
finding every cross-way to die

miserable draped in white
its been time to gather all the sick and the dying
every face wears a mask as cold as his own
but he doesnt own one
or even know what they are for

time to smoke weedd and try an fall asleep to wake up go to work tomorrow to pretend i am human

you arnt wrong and you arnt alone in feeling like ****

king of nothing

turn it into purple sleep

im trying so hard man but you have to give me something i cant change it for you, u still have to want it for yourself

i put all my energy all of everything feeling inside of me into everything and everyone except for the person sleeping next to me