left out of dark to swirl with the sirens
ice cold is unchanging and fully reviving
the bottles have no shape or form they just continue to grow and grow
all over the counter, all over the sink, all over the bedroom floor;
my charcoal lungs are evaporating with alacrity
so now green is the only color i have to stain things with
still my anxiety is snaking its sour umbra over everything
that is sunlight to me
anything beautiful and breathing
its erasing me
my mouth is full of cat hair and ammonia from the dog ****
and the white on the floor is cancer
im convinced of it but we have no place to go
and maybe its too late to change it
i am slowly less aware of reality and dead, dead, dying in my dreams
my baby left me, crystal blue lips and seams
why would she walk onto the water
she isn't jesus and i am the furthest thing
i jumped onto the mirror and it shattered, the ice slit my throat
i grabbed frantically to push her above the water
but her paws were limp, she wasn't moving anymore
then she started to glow ghost rising
until the white clouds caressed her enveloping all
watching her while i descended like Lucifer returning to his throne
this spider is spinning on my shoulder im throwing him away
out the window out of my bed out of my home out of my life
his web is still attached to me and he is all that i see
biting nervous itching, id rather be at sea
i can show the world ugly if that is all they want to see
this spider is crawling all over me
im barely evident in my deprivation
and unable to stop swallowing poison
to give myself time to breathe
i dont know this child but hes pushing a cart in the snow
red eyes smiling, yellow wheels, green coat
he needs help // tell him where to go
i take him to his home and sit down at the table with his family
everyone is talking and laughing
fork in the ham smoke from the ash tray in o's
shes drinking and smiling then she turns and looks to me
and my uncles ghost comes straight out her vibrating throat
and begins to eat her food while shes talking to me
im just looking around like what the **** is happening
the family is all smiling they dont notice him he doesn't notice me
but i can feel everything so i go to the bathroom
pull out my teeth one at a time and they are immediately regrowing
my uncle is shaving next to me doesn't notice or say a thing
walked back out onto the street laid on the pavement
closed my eyes and fell asleep