i spent my whole life getting to be what everyone thinks u should be i had ******* everything and now i need to start over and everyone expects me to be positive and happy like it never happened

this world is confused and ****** up not just you we are in a place where everyone trys to fill their emotional vacancy with money and success it doesnt get better as u get older it gets harder and worse idk what to say anymore idk anything

idk if it ever can get better it doesnt seem like it at all most times all times no one knows your life or mine somethings maybe cant be fixed

you arnt wrong and you arnt alone in feeling like ****

she thinks i am making it hard for no reason and tells me to be happy with myself and all i dont know and everything that comes out is because i dont understand why she doesnt need me and i need her more than anything

she said im ruining it like i dont already know

i am not made for this world

i hate daytime more than anything

dreams feel so real and how they make me feel when i wake up, sad and afraid

ive been wasting my time on people who never deserved it for too long im doing this on my own

people need to start realizing that some people are just evil and their skin color/****** affiliation/gender has nothing to ******* do with it
some people are just evil and that is it

when ur trying to defeat hate with more hate

might as well bash your head into the wall until ur dead it will do as much good in the world

no one in your real life is going to take u seriously unless u become famous or rich when u do **** like this doesnt make your art less valuable doesnt mean your feelings mean any less

i just want people to understand this is my ******* art i really truly appreciate everything anyone says to me honestly but nothing anyone says or does is going to change the way i am or the way i think i dont need or want anything i just need to do this for myself

i have no bad feelings anymore take your drugs and *** and power everything i dont need i am alive without a chance of dying and the way that u are, this is something u could never be

the saddest thing is that i know they will think its because im weak from everything they say and everything they are trying to be alone, and i know now thats something that i could never be

this girl is beautiful and kind and smarter than i will ever be

now im going to live my own way and im not going to feel guilty anymore for the things they cant understand or see

i want to live like this on another level and its sad that everyone cant see it this way i love everybody and everything and i was struggling because so many people who were close to me could never live this way this reality is ******* im making my own

all i had to do was be myself and u tried to take that from me and change me into what u wanted me to be

there is good in everything everyone sees as evil and evil in everything everyone sees as good

im really good at giving advice that i am completely unable to follow and dont really understand

****

all i know is that someday there will be a better place for everybody

i love u im sorry if i said anything that made u feel sad or upset i love u boo i hope you come tomorrow to sleep with me i love you

its so funny how many problems people i know have and want to pretend like they dont exist no one wants to talk about in real life its like u know everyone knows but u would rather hide it and fight it alone, thats not me idgaf what anyone thinks, im not ashamed of me or anything if its to hard to be a part of this then okay thats okay im not asking for your help keep doing what u think will save u

today i told my mom i want to work in the cemetery
she laughed like i was joking but i told her i meant everything
i wanna dig up the graves and put the flowers on the faces
i want to live next to hoarded silence that only closed coffins can save and eat with the worms when im slipping from what is real
and feel some ******* peace when war is all i feel
i want to live i want to die
i want to be alive for ten seconds without needing to take my life
i want to love like i feel love can be like
but everyone is so ******* different and no one loves like its right
i told her its like im a god like i could fly
and river like the heavens crying god from the skys
i rip out every heart that ever tried to live inside  
mastered the forgiveness of people who said they would never lie
and plastered their faces into the corners my mind
everyone is a lie every god is a lie
and my face is melting hell to hold off the parasites
they still **** me with every bite and its a lie its the lie
its what i know is hiding inside
I am what is never mentioned and what goes there to die

**** all these pretentious “poet" pieces of **** u don't understand ****
trying to pretend like u do now or ever did

i know this will never amount to anything so why do people still try to act like im gaining anything for this or have a reason to fake anything i just want to do something good for once in my life i really care too much and it makes me sick and i dont know how to change it and no one knows how much its affected everything in my life and everyone im trying to live with

some people do deserve to die but it is never the people who want it more than anything

this isnt about a part of anything this is about all or this is about nothing

i said because real love isnt real and u will never know because u never read this and its something u cant truly feel

i need a bible manufacturer to make this book for me because i want it to be disrespectful to everything that Christianity and god stand for
and for what they have done to me and to try and ruin everything for everybody

idk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anythingidk anything

its funny to me all theses people trying to place fake copyrights on everything did u know Shakespeare stole the plot for most of his plays from everybody but he made them better than everybody
and all these people trying to hold onto their scraps of nothing be what u were made to be

i am really trying to believe in this but i am changing completely and u are the same indifferently and i dont know if u will ever need this

maybe ill go to school to be a psychiatrist so i can professionally call them out on their *******

anyone in the world could be a psychiatrist we just need more people who are willing to care instead of more useless degrees stealing your money from leather armchairs

everybody has there own way to fight things i was wrong before maybe its something that u needed to be happy and thats okay im just doing it my own way

rewriting the bible  
turning it into ****

cant sleep cant eat
but i can smoke and i can drink

realizing that im human and i have needs too i understand what i did but i am not going to **** myself waiting for you

none of this is funny at all to me

this is getting harder and im starting to question if it was what i thought it was at all

some people see all things with finality and to others everything is another open door

nothing is at all the same without you

why do some people add three periods onto everything that they say is it supposed to indicate youre thinking deeper isn’t that something that what your saying should already say

she said ill stay until 2 the rest of the night and the days after are nothing until im sleeping next to you

i had a good night for the first time in a long time and it ******* ***** that it has to end but at least i know i can have them and that it is a possibility that this could happen again

i will take u in ur car to wherever u want to go and walk back home so u can sleep

i have what i thought i needed asleep next to me breathing feeling everything