forces self to think about **** no one wants to think about hates life for it

poor
lots of problems from the past
no vision for the future
(and she says burden worthless complainer not worth my time)
/same person/same people

gets job
slowly fixes problems from the past
unhappy but has conscious plan for the future
(and she says love of my life)

                  same person
i am
                    are u

         i know i am

and were u ever

settling for nothing is the only thing ive ever learned to do successfully

i want to run away with u

animals deserve to live full and happy lives people i feel like need to earn it

i respect people once and once that time is gone it is gone forever its never going to happen again u made your desicion *******

this could really end and turn into something beautiful i hope with everything that i am that this is the way it goes

this time i know im right and you are the one making excuses

admitting u are wrong is the hardest thing in the world to do

i think i will be a good father someday if i make it that far who knows

how do u love someone who doesnt feel love at least anyway close to how u feel it

death is forever
life means nothing

sometimes
i will
i cant really do this
i know
best of everything

today was closer than i have ever been

dead but cant die
idk how to fix it

for a little while every night feels like everything will be okay

i love ****

i love alcohol

so this isnt reality just wait and see dont ask me for **** when it completely overwhelms your lifeless nothing

people will use u until u have nothing left if u let them and it doesnt matter what kind of blood they have

if u want to write, write what u really feel like, nothing else matters

25 years old and i feel like im molding
the carpet is bleeding empty and the ceilings are folding
everything is already living dead, at least the way that i see it
they walk and they breathe but that isnt living to me
idk what u are idk what u believe idk human idk anything
i know that every friend i ever had never deserved me
i know that i could never make peace with some of my family
i know that nothing else matters except for what ill leave
i know that alive is so empty when death is all ur feeling
i really believe in these things  so overpowered by everything
i want to believe they can exist without this cancerous feeling
i know that ive done things that you could never forgive
i know that the bible says people like me are wicked
and we all deserve to feel like this
i know ill never go to heaven if it even exists
i know ill never beg on my knees im not your ******* *****
i know ill never pray for anything or anyone because they dont need that ****
i know that i ******* hate everything that trys to fight against this
i know that no one believed in me until everyone one else did
i know that the people i love still don't believe love exists
i know that it hurts me more than anything else ever will
to put everything i ever cared about into something
for you to completely ignore it
i just want to eat  i just want to sleep i just want one ******* day
where i dont worry constantly about everyone and everything
i know ill never be what you have always wanted me to be
so ill jus sit here puking garbage until something ******* saves me

world full of artists muted by doctors medicine

why cant you tell me you love me before i tell you i want to die

please stop saying u will pray for me i dont want your god and it bothers me that your delusion is something that you think i need

im trying so hard man but you have to give me something i cant change it for you, u still have to want it for yourself

any love i ever had for u is dead i want nothing to do with u ever ever ever again

still afraid
but not going anywhere

i love u for understanding

i ******* hate you for not caring

nighttime is a beautiful place

i spend at least 10 hours a day pretending the world doesn’t exist as hard as i can

i dont know how to deal with these feelings anymore

domestic life makes me want to **** myself and idk how to get out

death is the only thing that can truly fix everything

true selfishness is deeper and stronger than what u do with your money

im starting to forget why i had faith in u ur loving is less than leaving and im just trying to pass through

dont ever loose your innocence it is the best part of you and everyone and everything in this world will try to destroy it

master your emotions and no one can touch you

success doesnt make u an artist
money doesnt make u a more worthy *******

i just want people to ******* think

dont be offended by anything im saying if u are its about u and you know it more than i do

if u have to think really hard about what u are writing or need to put the words poem or poetry into everything your writing your trying to be something u are not just give up you are trying to be something u want to be not something u are

full of everything that matters and the world keeps trying to **** it

i would have done anything for the people that i thought i loved without care for how it affected me

******* **** money destroys everything

like father like son
something i cant ever be
doesnt mean that i dont love you
just could never look at most everything the way that u see

i feel really guilty but i had to say it i know he doesnt feel it at all and thinks im just going crazy its real and i know because im not mad i feel like **** for the pain it could cause him even though he wont feel it i just hope he can see the reality of what he is becoming

i honestly want this **** to just be over more than anything i would give anything to not care about what happens after im so tired so stressed out so sick of people and everything