not doing anything different than anything anyone else has ever done i just look at it differently

i have no bad feelings for anybody

if u dont hear from me know that **** is going like it should

learn how to be openly selfish
u will need it to be alive

u arnt enough human to unveil how it hurts

idk
idk anything

u dont try hard enough so im done trying at all

why am i here

saying things will get better
does not make it true

starts over

close eyes
pretend ur not there

keep going

iwalked into the desert u said you would be there u said baby i missed u to a ghost half dissapeared smoked thru talk for hours
sun folds and burning red when I bent to kiss you the devil shook his head and said hey pretty baby i been dreaming i feel u + i need you we ran and burned like cigarettes dripping by a ghost the whole world smelled like gasoline left in bitter smoke. in two convoluted circles our desert fell apart flew like slamming windows recanted our blue hearts dark now so dark dark now so dark dark now so dark dark now so dark dark now so dark a gold pen malediction and my soul to trade instead theres nothing left to love for when you’re already dead ripped off my face laid in my grave burned off my prints ive been erased and everything still looks like evil

time flies when life is full of ****

dont tell me u dont feel **** i can see that u feel

the power of words

everything is symbolic

this is how i want to live in
this is how i want to live in
white clouds and burial mounds
to cloud my indecisions fake lights
would bury me despite my own addmissions
but im the onee thats aglowing gun
when their shovels meet the skin
over dreamless mouths never
been forgiven snakes start out livid
screaming love all of your feelings
but they circle dead in readingvein faced stories from hearts that
they believed in
how can i still see them ?
thats what i could nvr sleep in
pale lights touch you like dead inside
and never let u leave them

hello i am here nothing nothing inside of me no spiders no webs neverlandhas king gone missing andwater runsthe deep
waste telling the peoplewho wait underwater its only an
oz of time until kingdomhas time to be saving
**** thisim saying im going away nothing livesor spells it right no one usesminds lik they deserve to diein
the sun eating checkers dying in
the sun. bridge bent water is under waiting drinking lungs untl they start to panic an beg..mouselife
understreetlights tootpick sword human death in eyes spell backwards what u want to hear straight and empty your veins glowing refill with ice refill with power with hounds and life// hello i am
here nothing nothing was inside of me no spiders no livers no wasteing parachuting into the arms of death spiny leviathin chords with rose lights 4 eyes she is spelling perfectly everything right
the rainbows  sleep live  hideabove heropen eyes

left over  a limp prodigy that is ****** half to death the cold marker is pulsing white and burning red on his skin bent down boring black antlers into a dichotomous spirit pulling out the entrails with a fanatic regret he laughs so hard when he is leaving and the other side shakes his head, where are you going ***** you are still the biggest part of this, other says the angel you are reeving barks when u pass through its hands  is that the message u want to send when you fall out of heaven are those the words that you would speak quietly floating past Cerberus just save your penny hell is empty just crawl into a ******* hole let your forever in dirt endure moonlight  and transform you into bones this forest is empty and pigment lures the ghosts broken headlights are the bobbing lanterns that your memories impose translucent ax lips biting on shoulders kept bleeding for more did you leave a mark on them too when you ****** out their souls? am i just a human fixture in the black hole of your home? would u miss me if i dissolved and left u my warmth?  
i dont trust the way that u wear your eyes holding everything i know is feeling behind what you claim to nevermind ur lying i know ur ******* lying every person breathing has something to hide u say u loveme and need me u said you’d never lie  u promised that u meant it when i told you I wanna die
i dont understand prosperity/functionality/practicality/
pragmatic asides
i dont understand what you could gain from absorbing a ***** preaching purity shaking hands with a convent of flies i ******* hate u preternaturally u are the unbirth of it all i never meant a word that i said i am empty rolling my eyes here waiting to watch u dissolve

some old guy said hes gonna citzen arrest me yesterday for smoking **** outside targget  people are funny

idk how im gonna finish this

somtimes u just gotta let **** go that you cant change, you cant erase what already happened and you cant react to situations differently than you already did

im not anything im just alive

what the **** do u want from me

ur turning me into something i hate again

oh my gosh oh"is that what ur saying sir? umm excuse me but thats just not me, i always say the lords name in vain. and all the subliminal marketing of your consumer artistry is making meweak an gag, im puking out all over in the bathroom upstairs past the solid maple tables past the circle murals in pairs who is there going to hold onto my hair when ur busy drooling about grandfather clocks high as **** doppelganging 2 levels flourished below me  all the tans and the colors of the north arre closing in where everyone and everything are turning into furniture store manikins stubborn geriatric commercials with one foot already on the conveyor belt to heaven and i just stand here and put the chips in, wrist here maam, forehead here sir just lift up your skin, living memory card into your left hand so u cant forgot all the horrible **** that u did, and ur on your way again back from indecision wht the **** else could u invest everything you worked for in, i can tell you
where to place your last faith in, you are going to die, people tell me laughing almost every-time so what the **** is the point of warranting anything, invest in a quality product that completely dissolves your thought process and rockets you into purgatory, where all the other good spirits are prostrating begging to be inventoried all the dead fathers and husbands and all other price tags shes still floating on that ocean signalling ships in with her omens and they are driving into the rocks just to hear a second of her laughing

ive mastered the art of smiling, nodding and responding appropriately when i couldn’t give less of a ****

everything i write and wrote is ufcking **** and i hate it
i hate it i hate this i hate it

look down when im writing like there's blood on my hand
life touchss my shoulder in the absence of death
muss be dripping from the nostril from its bobbing crystal head
i know its because i pulled out yellow flowers from spaces they left
stop beggin u remember he says to a doe shaking water from her chin
into your hands put them into your hands i put it into your hand
i hope u understand this that even tho they are full
they are as good as dead //flashing half eaten hearts off a cold gluttonous god// wrapped in a moth eaten blanket
mine was never open enough to be filled with regrets i know
that all we ever meant is what is left
i know that all i know to dipsense is death
ive been worming into and undergoing more than a modicum of stress
pale birds still sleep when they bleed out their pigment
i know because i watch them out my window
when the moon lifts its head
they plead with the weather thru crowding lachrymal stems
I FEEL SO BAD cuz god its so obnoxious
when he beats his barbaric chest
then pleads and cries like a ***** when he cant hold his breath
where was the last time u felt alive its not next to
or even around me who has given you life
even tho i never mean it even tho you always see it
im a creature with eyes i feed on unbelieving
finding every cross-way to die

some gone girl is speaking when next to my bed
whispered linnet murmurs preying online thru perilous sheds
blue under trees under the moon to leave shadows in your head
god is unloving and fabled in redress
i am a tomb i came too soon i am the tomb to live too sssoon
with lead palms crawling out of skin molds to scratch at the moon
fingers left crinkled and shriveled under what is new
uncluttered archers in stone slit platoons
letting them go letting them go letting it go letting them go
im staring down sideways to watch it unfold
everyone can smile and everyone can glow
but it takes a special evil to hide it from all
limbic numeracy is past reaching goals
it spreads and descends upon the lives it unfolds
its holding a Mesmer that cloves what hasn't sold
then spreads it like skelter across the crust of the world
god god god god how the **** are u where have u been
i need u we needed u like now its like
i ******* never want to see u again
like here is the palm in the eye of the world next to a
doctor boring gold mines into the veins of the scourge
riding checkered pale hearses across blank frail reading boards
educating all our current lovers on eternity and remorse
ur lacking the emotion to understand why it hurts
ur lacking the heart to feel when it ******* burns
your understanding is nothing to the weight of my birth
u live like a vulture failed in naming her worth
i dont give a **** what u take into your remission
the reaper undevils me u know im lacking ambition
the burning in my throat is the lane of my life
empty bottles living rags eating forbidden apples like its nothing
screaming and unbelieving and inhaling the rest at night
bareskin is deadskin thats the only way she could like
its unburdened there where the aqua violet struts and stares
im terminally confused and in unending repair
thats the only way i can survive it not that i like it
just the only way to survive in it and its ******* nothing how i like it
it just reminds me of this and i want to burn in hell again
i need it to continue ill burn in hell again
**** u for thinking you owned anything
im alone in this no one is watching and touching m y shoulder
when im writing this i am alone in this i already disclosed it
i am emulsified in it the world that is forever unopened
and i never even learned how to calm down
and breathe in
this is all that its worth and u arnt enough human to unveil how it hurts

this is what its like
to be dead when you are alive

nothing feels like anything

i love you i really do

no one knows the reason for what imsaying including myself except for u
and it means nothing to u

i dont trust you

love is the enemy of pride

letting **** build up again bcuz i dont have the strength or the time to deal with it

**** haters **** what other people doing do your own thing

in your heart or in your head never both

i guess what im saying is that i would take your place

more beautiful than anything alive

some things need time to be alive

i know what this could be like half of it is better than my wholelife

do what you have to do now once this ends nothing is stopping me

some people are just not right for each other and some people are made to exist together

too tired to make love"  warning sign for the rest of your life

one heart in my life
one love in my heart

prays to god 10 years old
playstation/basketball hoop/girlfriend/so upset
prays to god at 10 years old
**** me now give me cancer
i cant handle this she moves to texas
******* prays to god 16 years later
this ***** killed me, ruined my life ******* **** me
nothing
doesn't pray anymore