"what if the world stops when we're finally become one?" She asked.

"i don't know. let's just not worry. stop saying 'what if'. now is enough." He turned off the last cigarette, and sipped his coffee.

-
the door already closed.
there is no them,
just him and her.
she lies on her bed,
staring at the ceiling,
doesn't know for how long.
He turns the radio on,
playing their favorite song,
trying to sing along.

but the door already closed,
there is no way back.

-
"maybe someday, somewhere, we can fight for it more than this." she holds her phone tight.

"or maybe someday, somewhere, we have nothing but our own life. so we don't have to hurt each other like this."

"ok, fair enough."

she sent the last message,
and start to outcry in silence.

We always wish something more than this,
we always want something more.
A better long - teary - night ,
a better sad song to be heard,
a better hand-wave,
to rub out a bitter story.

We always wish we could revert the moment,
but we always know,
i am the one to blame.

You with your busy mind,
with no me in between.
Me with my insecurity thoughts,
full of you-s.

But my dear,
we always wish something more than this,
even if without "us"dangle like a tail,
i wish you to be pleased.

how could you be so innocent?
you made out of an evil dust,
you grow like a giant peanut tree lived by a monster,
there's a monster inside you,
he eats every-single-pieces the kindness you had,
you turned into everything you said you would never be.

tick..,
tock..,
the ticking of the clock,
the hands of good-bye,
where i dont know which part is good when you say 'bye'.
the talk of 'you will be fine',
which i know that i wont.
the smile of 'i will see you soon"
which we don't know 'when is soon?'.
.
the bus stop,
the rain drops.
one coat, two slots.
is the clock still ticking?
'cause you're about to leaving,
while i'm here,
hanging..
.
tick..,
tock..,
the clock keeps ticking,
but the memory of you keeps sticking.

you have seen her naked,
but you dont know her that much.
you dont know how she struggles with her life,
or what scent that she likes.
you dont know how she deals with her flaws,
or what makes her smile in the morning.
you just dont know her, that much.

you have seen her naked,
but she bets you have no idea about her obsession.
what she wants to be in the future,
how is her in the past,
and how she feels right now.

you have seen her naked,
but have you ever asked about her day?
have you ever wonder what is she doing at 3 a.m. when everyone is dreaming?
you have seen her naked,
but you dont even know how she feels toward you.
you never ask,
and she can't explain.

"on the night like this, there's so many things i wanna tell you.."

i keep repeat Mocca's song tonight. Arina's voice really calms me. i heed every lyric.

but then i realize,
you are not here anymore,
you are not there,
you are not even anywhere.

not even on my first thought at seven in the morning,
not even on my evening cup of coffee,
not even on my last call at midnight,
you are not even anywhere.

oh dear,
who am i to asked?

he has seen you naked,
but have you ever did the same to him?
have you ever known the deepest side of him?
because he tried his best to know you that much.

he has seen you naked,
but how many times you ask about his day?
how many times you listen to his complaint..,
or his fear?
yes, he has that fear.

he has seen you naked,
but haver you ever known..
your laugh is his strenght?
and your smile is the first thing that he thinks?
have you ever known that your sadness is his?
and everytime the tears stream down on your cheeks, he felt like a failure.
he fails to make you the happiest person on earth.

ya..
he has seen you naked,
but do you know..
how much he wants to know about your feeling?
how much he hopes that you will open the door just for once?
he hopes you let him in.

he tried to ask,
but afraid that you can't explain.

all the memories are hanging on the wall.
the best one,
the worst one,
all collected like there's no difference.
we all made mistakes,
we always did.
we're sorry anyway.
it's time to let go,
to move forward,
to forgive and forget.

we are gonna be okay,
maybe not now,
but someday.

the empty street,
the silence balconies,
will go back like they used to,
we're gonna sing like there's no boundaries.
the darkest place,
we will make it bright,
we're gonna dance under the moonlight,
we're gonna make it right.
maybe not now,
but someday.

to the lonely souls,
to the sick bodies,
to the worry parents,
and the tired workers,
i hope you are okay,
we - all will be okay,
maybe not now,
but someday.

a cancerian who loves to laugh a lil longer than the other, and so does when she cry.
a loner, a - happiness seeker, a midnight thinker with mind full of unwritten poetry.
she lives among the books, sad songs and dried flowers.
she lets them die,
she lets them dry.
-
sometimes she speaks through the pictures,
sometimes the music speaks to her,
sometimes she just quiet and let her fingers dances above the paper.
-
she loves her life,
but sometimes life doesn't put her in a good situation.
she's trying to be the best version of herself.
she always does.
-
but maybe it's never been enough to anyone.

You are the kiss that matters,
and i fall for every inch of your fingers play on mine,
touch me like no one else done it before.

You are the kiss that matters,
and i love the way you giggle in between,
the way you rub my blushing cheeks,
and break the quiet silence.

You are the kiss that matters,
and i want to remember it once again tonight,
on my long tired night,
on my unloved mind.