If all does not
Improve
It's you
I will lose
And my fear
Keeps me here
I cannot help myself
For I'm falling
And no net will catch me
I know
If I do not try harder
Than my hardest
I could be risking
The most important
Thing in my life
And then
Blades would surely
Find their way
Onto my skin.

I learned from my mother
And my youngest aunt
That I didn't want to be
A teenage mother
I learned from another aunt
That love is always a battle
And I have to decide if its worth the fight
(Which I believe it is)
I learned from my other aunt
That anger only locks you up
And once in it's hard to get out
I learned from my step mother that
Endurance goes so far
I learned from my grandmother
That putting *****
In your orange juice
Is not a good start to any day
I learned from my cousin
That care is in our hearts
And if you lack empathy
You may leave your soul behind
I learned from my great aunt
That kindness and helping people
Is good for the soul
I learned from my great uncle
That just because you have a lot of things
Doesn't mean you have everything
Lastly, I learned from my father
That love grows in all the little things,
All the small words or actions
And that without those
We cannot grow love.

I felt something
we slid into place
I know it wasn't
Fantasy
We were two souls
Who found peace
But the harsh world
It ruined you
Made you afraid
Of what they thought
But it never mattered
You had me
And my love
I quickly realized
It didn't matter
How much I loved you
You cared more
About what they thought
Than what I did.

With every
Step I take
With every
Four hour
Drive I
Feel a
Ache for
We're further
And further
Apart
My body
Begs me
To crawl
Back to
You
I feel
So far
From you
My love
I miss you
Our future
Is just
A dream
Please
Don't let
Go
Please let
Them come true
You were my first kiss
And I hope you'll be
My last.

Sometimes I get the urge
To grab your hand and run
To go back and fix it all
To somehow heal all our wounds
Together so that we never
Lose each other
But reality breaks
Me the harsh truth
If we lived different lives
We wouldn't be here together
We may have never met
We may not even be soul mates
As we proudly are now
So despite the urge to run
Waist deep in the past I stay
Beside you until the day I die
Where I'm safe
Where I know I truly belong.

Something in
The pit of me
Broke
As fear whispered
*It's not time yet

There are so many things
I'm scared to do again
Like fall in love
Like hold hands
Or kiss
To hug
To call them
Baby
To dream
To laugh
I'm scared
Of moving on
Making love
With anyone new
Doing anything
With someone new
I feel frozen
The pain reaching every
Inch of me
I can't actually move on
But maybe I can pretend to

The very thought
Shakes me to my core
I know I will always love him
I won't always be in love
But I care
Because each time
His piercing eyes
Look my way my heart
Trembles and breaks
I'll never forget him
How close our friendship was
His pure smile which caused me
From spewing tears
Even if hate is now
Our only purpose
I wish it'd change.

I saw all the ways you should've loved me
And only heard all the way you said you loved me

Actions spoke baby
And they screamed

You were afraid to love me
Somewhere in between trusting me

And hating me
You became frightened to be us

So when you showed me you loved me
It was hard for anyone to believe
Because for so long you only spoke
Never acted
And even when you acted
You failed to prove

I just wanted you
I wanted to be free with you
To proudly be yours

I spoke
And I acted
I did both at a rampant speed

I had to prove it to you
You had me
I was okay to love
But fear was too strong
And in the end we were both left
Broken and disappointed.

If you foolishly think

You love me

Do what no one else has

Prove it

Scream it to the world

Make a complete idiot out of yourself

If You Love Me

Be Fearless.

I can't help but fear
One day you may not be near
Maybe our love isn't meant to be
Not for you cause it is for me
It is your love
It brightens me and the sky above
I've never desired someone like I desire you
I wish you could love me too
Can't you look me in the eye
See that I not once spoke a lie
My want and love has been true
It's all been for you.

I wish
I could
Save you
Because
You deserve
To be
Happy.

Let me cry into you
With no questions
Just hold me
Kiss me
Let me stay yours
I need you
Now
More than ever before.

I feel like
A kid
Who just got
Everything they
Wanted for
Christmas
I feel like
A child who lost
A tooth
And awoke to find
A simple dollar under its pillow
I didn't loose anything though
I gained
Achieved
Attained
I have
You
For
Well
For forever

Me?
I would risk
Death
Just to
See
Your
Face.

I won't write a book about us

We were a whirlwind disaster

But I loved every heart wrenching moment

I won't write you a book

Because we failed

I'll write some fiction

About us working

About us loving forever

Just like we promised

I'll write some fiction

And it will be beautiful.

I was engaged at fifteen
and believed I would live my life
Happier than my wildest dreams
I am now nineteen
He left me
I am not happy
I am alone
I have nothing going
I have to remind myself
How much changes in time
I may be broken now
But maybe one day
I can be as happy as I was
At fifteen
With a ring around my neck and hand in mine
As we skipped school
To celebrate a love
We believed was forever.

Always

Try

To

Make

Me

Wanna

Stay

                       I Can't Do It Alone.

Won't you come and comfort me
Make it all better
As every bit of me aches
I cannot take this
Being put down
Degraded and made to
Feel so much less than worthy
How am I suppose to live now
Without my sunshine
How am I to live when my dreams are fading away
Dying
I don't wanna give up yet.

Yell
Scream
Argue
Explain
Listen
Hurt
Ache
And
We
Understand.

I love our story

It hurt sometimes

But we've collided again and again

Reached bliss

And we still fight off evil

For evil cannot be destroyed

Only change it's form

But our love

It prospers

It is stronger than anyones

Tomfoolery

We are meant to be

Some are just to blind by evil and hate to see.

I'll fill this space with empty words,
A half-hearted energy,
No true meaning,
Just a few sentences to fill the blank pages,
To cover up the hollowness growing here,
Don't worry it'll all be over soon

My heart is tangled in you
I think I have fallen
I fought it so hard
But it just sinks in
And I hate it

You will never love me
You will never wake up beside me

I will never feel your lips on mine

I am a hallow shell

Waiting for someone to fill me

Fill me with love
I beg of you.

My past finally said goodbye
With a block to the face

Goodbye hopes and dreams of eleven year old me

My past finally will fade

I will no longer live in the shadow
Of what you wanted me to be.

I always wish
That I knew
That the last day
Was the last day.

So I could've hugged you
Just a little tighter

Kissed you a little harder

Said I loved you a little more

And held on just a little longer.

Not one sea or ocean
Kept us apart
The people
The roads
Long and boring
They did
But our souls
They ran
They ignored
And as we moved
Closer and closer
We finally saw
What the world
Didn't want us to see
We're soul-mates
So happy together now
Such harmony
And no one
Nothing
Can change
What we know
It's just you and me
Because we finally
Reached each other
Finally got our chance.

You told me
You're leaving me
Again

Was I supposed to smile
And pretend it was okay

The pain of life
Without you

My Beloved
Has been unbearable
And I'm expected to do it once more

I'm expected to
Squander my time
Until your supposed return

I am sworn not to stray
You are sworn to that
And to love me

To try to keep us alive
So long as I stay true to you

But maybe our rollercoaster of love
Isn't at just another fall
Maybe it's just
Reached the end
And has nowhere else to go
The only option
Is to start all over


I'm not sure if the passengers are safe
They were almost destroyed last time.

Finally I lost you
I knew it'd happen
Because in my life
Nothing good ever stays
Nothing ever lasts
I wish you'd love me
But I knew all day
It would end this way
And a blade would find my skin
Because without you I'm fin.

Finally
I suceeded
In achieving
Somethings new.

Passion
Takes
Control of
The
Addict
That
A part of
Me is
And
It makes me
Make you
And I know now
Your stronger
Than I ever could be
I wonder if
It matters to you
Wonder
If you felt the jolt
Of fire
Run through your body
In the most breathtakingly
Amazing way.

In your arms again
It was like my world set fire
But this fire did not burn nor demolish
Only illuminate
It brightened life for me
Gave me strife
Gave me a reason to fight
For both of our lives
I vowed I would always love you
And I have yet break that vow
My heart loves you more
Than yesterday
And more than two days ago
My love has grown
And has become a part of this fire
I feel your arms wrapped around me
I find it's much easier to see this way
Because the fire of love burning within our chest
They meet and together we burn as bright and beautiful
As the northern lights.

It truly was
One of the
Most amazing
Sensations
I could ever
Feel in my life.

I went there everyday after you left
Hoping you'd be there

You never were

I ran my hands down the pipe
Every time it rained

It never did rain the same

I tried to sit the same way
That we did that day

It just never felt right

I tried to imagine you
Sitting there

But it's not the same talking to the air.

I'm Always Surprised
When You Kiss Me
Because It Always Feels
**Amazing.

No fear my love
For you
Will always be
My one true love
You see
You were my first
And if you keep me close
Hopefully my last too.

The only love I've known
Is a love that to this day breaks my heart,
Loving him,
It was so cold,
Like a blizzard in the of middle winter,
Freezing yet beautiful,
He loved me,or did he?
I'm still not sure,
All I know is that he won't even look my way,
I sometimes see him even running away,
Not even a hello,
If your wondering what I did wrong I'll tell you,
I might've mentioned him to my friends,
I guess they asked if he knew me,
And he replied"No." ?!
Such a liar,
And I loved him!
I still do,
The only difference now
is I don't want to,
I would do anything to forget him,
All he did was hurt me,
I can't stand remembering,
Not anymore.