another sip of the poison,
drinking away the youth,
forgetting about life, past,
present, and the future.  

blurry vision, buzzing in
your head, but you tell
yourself,

it's not enough
i want more

you tip the remaining
contents of the bottle,
down your throat

the liquid burns your
throat, warms you inside,
makes you lose control

control of your senses,
your common sense
that you need to stop,
that you should stop
before it gets worse

but you keep those
words in the back of
your mind, locking
them away from
earshot

"life is art"

"there is beauty in everything"

if today i woke up with you right beside me

like all of this was just a twisted dream

i'd hold you closer than i ever did before

and you would never slip away

i really wanna love somebody

you're perfect on the outside*
                             *but nothing at the core

please don't have somebody waiting for you

DANCING IN THE DARK
IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT

don't act like you don't know it

some days,

                                                                                                        you just don't*
                                                                                                                         *care

i am a paradox
i am neither happy
nor am i sad.


                                                                                           i smile at pretty things
                                                                                     and laugh at funny things







                               but late at night i become
                               a mess of emotions and thoughts
                               and i wish i could just disappear

we are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.  
we are prisoners of our minds
with no escape but the inevitable death
we live in the land of misfits
we’re surrounded by a bundle of tantrums

*you didn't fix me, you just changed the part of me that is broken.

it's funny how
these monsters in our heads
that only come out at night
are nothing more than notions
ideas that we created ourselves
thoughts we let grow
and conclusions we come to
and it's scary how
every day they hide
in the shadows
but the night is one big shadow
and every night
there they are
clear as day
so here we are
it's 4 am and i'm alone again
and these monsters in my head
are crawling beneath my bed

you fashioned
a warm cloak
out of the darkness
your pain
slowly vanished
into the brightness

I dream of a ghost of my country
I dream of familiar skies
though our voices are silent
we still dream of home
and a thousand unspoken goodbyes

we were
just friends
that spoke like lovers
and that seemed to be enough for
two teenagers who were scared to love one
another.

there's so much pain in the
question
"are you okay"
that for a moment someone
noticed
the changes in your face
that for a moment someone saw
your mask fade away
that for a moment
you realised
you
     were
           never
                okay

find someone
who knows
you're sad
just by the change
of tone in your
voice

be with someone
who loves the
feature that
you hate the most

fall in love with
someone who
looks at you and
knows they don't
want anyone else

"don't fall in love with the good, easy,
put together parts of me.  fall in love
with the mess that i am, fall in love with
the chaos in my eyes and the storms in
my heart."

physically i am fine

emotionally i am bruised

you can't hide
your lyin' eyes

and your smile
is a thin disguise

i thought by now
you'd realise

there ain't no way
to hide your lyin' eyes.

nothing haunts us like
the things we don't say

everything was lovely

when she loved me

"some days
i can't stop
thinking
about you, and
other days
i wonder why
i'm wasting
my time."

"where are these scars from", he asks.

                                                                        "they're battle wounds," i replied.

"who were you battling?"

                                                                                                                    "myself"

when you've
been sad for so
long that when
something bad
happens you don't
cry, you just sit
there and
feel numb.

hangman is great.

it teaches you that by
saying the wrong things,
you could end someone's life

we
build
walls
around
our
hearts
and
wonder
why
no
one
loves
us