to be hollow is to be stuck
somewhere between floating and drowning
just the days i run out of luck
times i thought i was doing something

i see it in his eyes
the disdain he's trying so hard to sugarcoat
his words filled with white lies
and all the other ugly words stuck in his throat

to be vulnerably open is to be shameless
something that i have mastered to do
i literally could not be a bigger mess
and it is his painful unspoken truth

sometimes i wish he would just utter it to my face,
and does not try to love me more than what i should only get
such a pure soul whose love should not go to waste
unlucky he is to have me as his greatest regret

each goodbye i bid hurt less
i try to think it isn't as painful as before

with tears i do my very best to hold
and anxious heart on the floor

i smile as they go

Storm is here
It's never been this cold
You're nowhere near
For me to hold

No stars in sight
You took them all
I'm out of light
In this world of no control

i've been secretly hoping for that courage
that tells me
you feel just like what I feel

but regret it after
a wave of thoughts came rushing into me

what would we do
with such courage
if there is

there should be no us
in a lifetime we're not meant to be

I took a deep breath
and looked at the leaves falling
it's like watching you go deeper into this
And I just let you be

I felt motionless and bare
The end was looking at me straight in the eye
And I just couldn't even drop a tear
I knew, I was, and still am not me

Was it a dream?
The beating of my heart felt surreal
You were supposed to be only in my mind
Everything was fine until it has been too much

Perhaps we found it serene
Like no reality would ever feel as free
As if the sun rises in the west and sets in the east
How impossible it was that no one can grudge

We both winked at the truth
The comfort of deceiving ourselves
These shouldn't have gone too far
We're too complex to be living in a world of our own

Here lies the unspoken words
Of our own little universe that made things costless
And the little galaxies we tried to make
Only to know at the end, I am alone

sometimes it's something
i'm still half away from you
most times it's nothing
you are the farthest i could view

i can't look you in the eye
that night still feels surreal
felt like truth sugarcoated with lie
things heart couldn't just conceal

now i'm having a hard time feeling
i don't know where to look
your candid disposition is lying
led me nowhere but stuck and hooked

sometimes there's something
things my lips refuse to say
most times there's nothing
things just go and fade away