Nuala

Nuala Nov 2020

cold

when I’m happy light spills from my every pore,
my cheeks swell at the day
But when I despair, no fire could reignite the light which once consumed me
My mind, cold & frozen.

Nuala Nov 2020

yours

you cannot say you don’t want me and keep a piece of me,

because if you hold that once piece then the rest of me is yours

Nuala Nov 2020

- you cannot know

Do you know what its like to be empty, yet pour everything you have into someone else in hopes they’ll fill you up in return.
Because giving takes first place when no one gave to you.

Nuala Nov 2020

sugar

rose tinted glasses disguised your repugnant nature
I wore them with love
every time you covered me with salt I remarked at how sweet it was

lies breakup love hurt sad

Nuala Nov 2020

it was you

Can you not see how I am struggling because of you and what you have done to me,
you have tore open everything I swore to close off to the world and then left, leaving me raw
I can’t sow myself shut again because there is a part of me that wants to feel the sting you left
because it was you who left it
and it’s the only part of you I have.

Nuala Nov 2020

my performance

Fingers carving into me
treating me like the pumpkin you need to gut
this hurts
so why am I writhing around, putting on a performance for you
faking fireworks
just to make you feel worthy

Nuala Nov 2020

the hurting

I was hurt so I decided to hurt
I opened my heart and legs to the undeserving
I let anyone come in, leave their mark, leave their chaos in my belly
I let them love me when I could not love, not even myself
I walked into their dreams and made a home in their plans
a secret flight risk
I could say i'm sorry for inflicting this pain, as it was burned into me
i could say i'm sorry
but I'm not.

#hurt #pain #love #***