as the birds start singing
my hands automatically
search for my phone
to see no texts from you

it's been awhile since
i cried in the morning
i don't like it
i hope i don't cry again

...

before i give in to the tiredness
of my overworked eyes
from looking through our pictures
memories we took, as i usually do

i wonder what you're doing
how you're feeling,
have you eaten ?
are you thinking of me ?

living life without you
is much harder than i thought
you infiltrate my head
each and every day

even when i try my hardest
to distract myself
from the thought of you
my mind still let you in

maybe it's habit
because in reality
you never left
you've been a part of me

ever since you came into my life

the distance between us grow further
the words we speak grow shorter
our conversations, once a flowing river
now it's barely a trickle

i remember when we'd talk for hours
now silence fills the spaces
texts from you make my heart soar
but it's quiet now, like a door without a door

i wonder about your day, thoughts, dreams
but asking feels like a shout
are you drifting away ? or am i ?
our connection once so strong, now is weak

i miss you so much, your laugh, your smile
the way you'd talk about things you love
now, each word feels measured
as if our time together is faltering

yet hope lingers in my heart, stubborn
that we might find our way back
for love, tested by time and distance
can bridge any gap, if we give it a chance

so i'll hold onto our memories
hoping this silence is a phase
for even in this quiet, lonely space
my heart still beats for you

as i have said a million times
i will say it a million times again
i love you wholeheartedly
you're my soulmate

do you know why
i feel like i'm taking
this break up far worse
than you

it's because
i found you
i found love with you
when i wasn't even looking for it

you just happened
to fall into my love
and made the deepest mark
imaginable

you were there for me
in my darkest times
when i felt as if
life wasn't purposeful

you brought back my smile
you brought back my laughter
you brought back
my will to live

and maybe
just maybe
you could fall back
into my life again

if i wait for you

i will start by
kissing your forehead gently

then i'll trace my lips down
to your left cheek
and kiss it tenderly

on to the right cheek
my favourite cheek
and kiss it, so softly
on that mole that i love so much

afterwards,
i'll slowly make my way
to the side of your luscious lips
and kiss where
the corner of your lips meet

on to the other side of your lips
i kiss lightly
and sometimes i would tease you
with the tip of my soft tongue

then i'll lower my lips
to your chin
and i'd part my lips slightly
to give you a loving kiss on your chin

then i would go back up
to your nose
that cute little nose i adore so much
and give it a teasing peck

lastly, my favourite body part of yours
since the day i saw you
until this present day
your full, plump lips

as i kiss your lips
warmth and softness takes over my heart
we linger there, two lips forming one
our heartbeat matches, and become one
time stops
or at least i feel like it did

it's the best feeling ever
when your lips are interlocked
with someone you truly love
with you

friday, 24th may
exactly three weeks from today
the day you shattered my heart
into a million tiny pieces

the day you gave up on us
the day you let yourself
fall in love with someone else
speechless

i remember looking away from the text
staring blankly at nothingness
"i knew it"
then everything went silent

my space where my heart is supposed to be
is now empty
i gave my whole heart to you
so you would take care of it

but you threw it away
you threw 3 years away
for someone you met 2 months ago
you broke me

how did we go from
lovers
to
strangers

your silence hurts so bad
that i actually start to feel
physically sick

my thoughts feel completely
chaotic and obsessive
often about you

it drains me to act like
everything is fine
but emotionally i feel so tired of it all

i start to put my phone on silent
because i know i can't handle the pain
of waiting for your text

everything else feels numb to me
because all i ever think about
is you

it gets pretty lonely
so lonely that it hurts
and i don't know if i'll get over this feeling

i long for the day
when you tell me it was a mistake
and you want me back

but today is not the day

i miss you when you're beside me
i miss you when you're away
i miss you when you hold me
i miss you when you look away

i miss you when the day turns into night
i miss you when everything seems alright
even if you still need time
i'll wait

My body doesn't function normally
I miss you,
And my heart, it's not steady
My soul is numb

It feels intense, and the worst part is,
I feel completely out of control
There isn't a whole lot I can do about it
And it *****

Some would say when you miss someone so badly
You pretty much miss a part of yourself
And I agree,
You're a part of me I cannot be away from

I always want you around
It doesn't matter what you're doing
As long as I can see, feel, smell you
I know I'm going to be alright

mornings don't feel the same  
nights feel longer
the sun doesn't shine as bright
the moon feels colder
people's voices feel muted
days feel like an eternity

without you by my side
everything feels slower
you were my purpose
my everything

without you
i'm purposeless

i think i have fallen in love w you
your smile, your touch, your laugh
you've stolen my heart
or what's left of it

you make me happier than i've ever been
smile brighter than ever before
and laugh harder than i ever have

it's not only that i love you
it's that i'm in love w you
i've fallen deeply, and uncontrollably
in love w you

and so did you

you're like the sun
i can't touch you
i can't get close to you
so i just
look at you from afar
and hope you continue to shine
as bright as you always do
just so i can see you
everyday
and admire your light