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 Nov 2024 Jennifer DeLong
Rios
Someday,
I'll eventually find the courage
To burn this bridge between us

And I'll watch you crumble
Before my very own eyes
As my heart witness you drown
In a pool of tears
I wasted
 Nov 2024 Jennifer DeLong
Rios
I always thought freedom is losing you
Instead all i feel now is imprisonment

Bars would be the series of my mistakes in a life i have chosen, a life i thought would be bliss without you, i was wrong.

If words expresses what i feel, those words would spell i miss you.

I regret having a memory of letting you go, i wish it's still me and you
 Nov 2024 Jennifer DeLong
Rios
The mirrors are caving in
Reflecting cuts within
If i embellish as a fragrant of your memory
Will it hint a side of my chivalry? or just the highlights of my tyranny?
Lately, mornings have been heavy
So i try my best to hide in all of midnights
Hoping daylight won't ever find me

Tell me, how can i break my seal from these starfield of make-believes?
Each hope i own is engulfed in fallacies,
Wishes were all just fantasies
I look unto the sky of the bluest face
As i resonate in shame and disgrace
I sit by the window with a moonlit face
Longing for a time, where woe finally stops coloring me....
 Nov 2024 Jennifer DeLong
Rios
If life knocks on your door
To take back whats taken for granted
What will your questions be?

If the moon utters a declaration
Do you think you were good enough to be taken out of gravity?
If you'll be sent way down south
What will your last words be?

When you hear the heavens sing and all you hear is wicked, will your tears fall in regret as all you can do now is bleed in remorse? Tell me, what will it be?

If it knocks on your spirit
What will your questions be?
If it utters the unspoken
What will your last words be?
When the melody defeats your chaos
Tell me, what will it be?
Never impressed with the worst coming first
but this seems to be the new thing
and it's the same everywhere we go
even here,
you'd think that we would know
a shyster when we saw one.
your music starts and eight counts leave my mind the magic of artistry blends together as twelve individuals move as one months of preparation for a taste of euphoria passion exudes from every pointed toe as their bodies tell the stories of their hearts an honor to behold the wonders of a dancer's soul you run to the wings, overflowing with joy wishing us luck as we admire your performance our team embraces before entering the stage hands outstretched as our music starts
I often wonder whether I am failing myself but then I remember the girl I once was the one who was always the third wheel who carefully planned out and calculated her words only to be talked over when she finally spoke the one who was bullied by her first grade teacher who hated her looks and despised her body
who stared blankly into space until her mind was elsewhere the one who was called useless after trying her best throwing kindness like confetti at people who couldn't care less what would be the look on her face if she found out that I am working at a summer camp as happy as could be holding out my hand rather than being walked over cracking jokes without fear choking me to death opening the lid to my box a little more each day if only I could have washed her tears away hugged her and told her it will be okay
my dad used to say all of the songs were about being seventeen young and sweet, wind in your hair, excitement in your veins and I thought wow, that means seventeen could be my year will my fairy godmother spare a wish? can my rags of hopelessness finally sparkle? maybe seventeen is the excuse I need to be brave to take the shot in the dark if it means finding light to cross the unbeaten path even though tree roots are out to get me to express the love flowing in the canyons of my heart to stop closing doors as quickly as I open them my age is young, but my dreams are old with this next chapter comes stories untold
I've had 536,457,600 seconds of air and don't want to waste one more
the raw confusion of the nucleotide fusion,
the great concoction of recombinant DNA,
when we cross over our own boundaries
and subsume, integrate, reformulate our
very selves, with inhalation complete of
another human being; the danger’s inherent,
absorbing a foreign body totally is the creation of a new being entire, vulnerable
despite the new totality of the resources of
two hearts acquired for mergence

and the rush of two different bloodstreams
now circulating, stronger by far, and equally
vulnerable to diseases never prior considered,
these tissues patches, interwoven skins, two
fabrics, silk and wool, a smooth itchy, that
makes us stronger with yet unknowns of weaknesses, and then we encounter what
cannot easily be digested, comprehended,
for even new cells split apart, and the terrible
terror of dividing division that is the side effect of integration, new subdivisions never
ever forever foreseen cause volcanic tremors
and trusting your other half is awful,
until the fear subsides

this is the why
I write of
only love poetry,
the study of this process
so poorly and powerfully
misunderstood
is the atom bomb
of the human psyche

in rivers dark we travel,
oars with cotton muffled,
for there are dangers on each bank,
and in the waters beneath
the salt and the fresh
excitingly & violently blending,
different weights
somethings fall to the bottom,
others rise to the top

and when the process is nearly resolved
(for never ending,
by default defined,
for end is a conflict
constant
interrupted by truces fraught,
fragrant and vulnerable)

this then
is living,
this physic of the
bio-il-logic process
called love,
and the endlessness
that it requires

the inconstancy
of the
constancy
of the
deepening well,
and the
redemption of
redefinition
of what is
well


<>

2:10pm
nyc
10/21/24
music
———
“Sometimes Whrn We Touch” Dan Hill
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” Bonnie Tyler
“By the Rivers Dark” Leonard Cohen
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