There is a beauty in every curse
And a curse in each beauty
No matter how kindhearted, loved, honorable you may be
There will always be someone who harms you
Takes advantage of you.. destroys you
And that's just the beauty
Building your character and personality
So where's the curse?
Well let me tell you..
Your actions. Your words.
The curse is how you respond.

My time is near
I can smell the growing pain of my death
My ashes are fixated into the air
Who would've thought this would be reality?
No matter where I go.. it feels like I'm stuck in some realm
Of anger and brutality
The unseen normality
I look further and realize
Life is not a game of strike and spare
But somehow it seems as if
When God comes and pulls souls out of bodies
So swiftly and suddenly
One by one..
I know I'm going to hit the strike and humanity will hit the spare.

From here to you I say
Writing is your healing,
Never let it get away.

I really hope you never get to know me
I want to remain as a little mystery
Doesn't matter our relationship
When someone gets close to opening the gates
To your complex mind and individuality
They begin to take advantage of your reality
So I try to act accordingly
But by then it's too late
So I really hope you don't understand me
I want to remain as a puzzle
That needs to be taken time out for
A mystique to those around me
An obscurity of intricacy
I don't want you to know me.

- 12/12/19

If you knew me in the past
You wouldn't recognize who I am today
The depression took over me years ago
But now I have control
The anchor off the boat has been let loose
I am undefeated
So if you knew me in the past
You don't know me now
I am not the same person
She is a stranger
And I am someone who is not lost anymore
I found myself.

- 12/12/19

Lately it's been like I've been stuck in this hole
Drowned in depression
Filled with anxiety
My presence resembles a balloon
Busted by pain
Pulled by responsibilities
Sometimes it feels like everyone is out to get me
But I sit back and realize
God is on my side.

- 12/12/19

Last night I had a dream
..It was more of a message
A letter from my father
I haven't seen him in years
His voice was unknown
But hearing this note
And seeing his visage of joy
It took away all of my fears
But brought me my fate
You see.. my father passed away
Just about six years ago
But in that vision he was full of life
It was like he arose from the deathbed
Soon I woke up
And the only thing I could say
Was alhamdulilah

- 12/12/19