please excuse the cough,
it's the coal mine in my lungs,
digging up dirt and foul oils,
extracting all the priceless jewels

polluted, stained and scarred
by the trials of everyday

please, excuse the cough
i promise it's not contagious

wishful thinking that the sting would die out

but it keeps returning in acidic waves

at times when expectations are broken

and understanding is high

trying to let it loose

be free and



insecurity is befuddled

unclear decisions only become moldier

the goal is fuzzy

the fingertips that were burned together

are broken apart by the freeze



i want to close the doors completely

barricade them from the world

and rip them into shreds

to ensure no wandering minds

ever commit the crime again

i am not sure that i am capable of hating anyone. to do so seems pointless, and entirely unreachable. i don't know what the point of life is, if there is one, but it is not to hold burning hatred within yourself. even to those who do you wrong, to those who damage you more than you thought you could ever be damaged, how do you hate them? should you not just let them go, push them out of your head entirely? it is hard for me to hate anyone, yet it is so easy for everyone else. i do not hate you because i reserve those feelings for myself.

ruminating thoughts turn into thorns of gold
pushing around inside mushy brains
poking holes in the spots you need to be whole
but they are gold and precious
they just need some love

suddenly, everything switches
turns on its side into something you can not recognize
all that is left is a pile of dust and dirt
and a few scratched notes
full of lies and deceit

you have to learn everything new again
remember what it is like to be you
trust yourself and trust the good people

the evil forms that irreparably damaged you
will always be right behind
let them be close, but not too close

try to understand

truthful and real words