alone,
be happy
you must be
despite all the circumstances
live in the moment
focus on right now
if you don't, you fail
if you do, you fail
figure it out!

it's all convoluted
twisting and turning, making circles in hurting heads
but the truth is
i really cannot grasp a single thing
only excruciating pain
to cover emptiness and loss
i am moving forward, onward, backward
no one has any words or wisdom
stop thinking you are right
you are never right

i keep asking for something
looking for something
and i don't know where

i wish i knew something.

everyone has their own lives
when will the dullness get vibrant
when will the void gain meaning
will it ever?

and what will i do until then?
it is not okay.

two different world - are one
but we will show them in the sun

is there a world outside?

i'm going to break
i'm going to break
please don't
come and get me
everywhere
i am incapable of
please come and get me and take me away
she's gonna go crazy
no time
somewhere else
where i am comforted

i think i'm going numb
i can't feel the ripping
goodnight

the outlines are blurry
the space behind your eyeball is clogged
i want to change
the precipice of sanity
the void of insanity

time is passing at light speed
no time is passing at all

i'm spinning in circles
i'm going to fall over
where am i going?

where am i in the universe today?
your three worst fears will become realized all at once
all at once

sorry

i am turning into stone

I am not a responsible, fully functioning human today (anymore?). I am gripping at ledges with slick fingers and I just can not seem to stop crying. Everything is in your power, child, not mine. Please stop looking at me to guide you, I am definitely not the one for the job. Can you not see the tar on my stiffening face and the gray goop on my lungs?

i feel ancient and yellow

i looked at a man on a bus and was disgusted by his age

i decided then that i never want to feel old

the creak in your bones

the weight in your veins

the sag in your skin

the dullness in your eyes

you become dry, old, worn out

i feel ancient and yellow

i can feel my insides getting singed

turning brown, murky, vile

i will always let it in

i feel ancient and yellow

and weary, exhausted, empty

i feel as if

there is to be nothing

just waiting for the end

i feel ancient and yellow