Where were you when he touched me where he shouldn't have?
Where were you when he bruised me from trying to over power me?
Where were you when he hammered the nail on the wall in my back?
Where were you when he painted my face with disgust?
Where were you when he traced his finger prints on my thigh?
Where were you when I needed someone to burst through that door and help me fight him off?
Where were you when I threw myself on my bed, drowning in my pool of tears?
Where were you to tell me it wasn't my fault he felt the need to violate me?
Where were you when he made me feel like I'm not human,
Like I'm an object.
Where were you when I had to protect myself from someone high on testosterone?
Where were you when I had to protect myself from someone 5 times stronger than me?
Where were you when he made me fear stepping out the house?

Where are you when I lose my breath while passing his house?

Where are you on nights like these?
When I can't sleep because I'm terrified that he can walk in at anytime and finish off what he started.

Its not your fault that what happened, happened.
I'm just here, still devastated,
Asking myself where you were when that ******* explored me.

Have I ever compared you to the stars?
Have I ever described your eyes in ways that resemble constellations?
Talk to me about time.
Talk to me about the universe
in all ways that'll I'll never be able to understand.
Spin me around like a clock and take me back in time
to the days when stars shined brighter than these Jozi lights.

We don't have to say a word.
Make no noise, not a peep.
Let silence fill our ears.
Let the quiet take over the earth.
Let us float in this peace,
and enjoy the time we have together.

I know that I have to leave soon
and I know that stars don't burn forever,
but lay with me here on the ground.
We'll count sheep all night until
the sun greets us in the morning letting us now
that the night is dead and gone.

It's not my fault that I fell in love with the world in you.
I see so much life and you
and I think we should stay in this position forevermore.
We will never miss another darting star,
Whirling its way passed us breaking our silence just for a second.

your eyes, made to see the depths of me.
your ears, made to hear the thoughts i keep.
your hands, made to fit my dainty mold.
your lips, made to ******* sweetened soul.

I long to be the place you can put everything they know you need to survive - every secret, solitude, nervous prayer & be certain I'll keep it

To feel like porcelain,
fragile and easy to break
is something I'm no stranger of
Now to feel like
stone,
solid and dense,
is something I know nothing of
But to feel like
oxygen,
impenetrable, flawless;
to be the air that fills your lungs
is all I aim to be.

"Be a good girl"
"Don't play around with boys, and don't be played around by them"
"Learn how to cook and clean"
"Study every minute of your life so you can get a well paying job"

Listen here,
I am not happy!
I have broken down more than you can imagine.
I have been suffering with depression for 4 years!
4 years!
Imagine the constant pain and agony I have been enduring from not being able to share my burdens with you

I have been used and abused so many times.
I have hated myself as a sister, a daughter, a friend, and most importantly a woman.
I have attempted suicide and the only person who cared enough was my 2 year old sister.

You remind me everyday how I cannot confide in you,
How I cannot need you for emotional support as my parents
How I cannot cry on your shoulders
Because I will be brutally castigated for being as broken as I am.

in my darkest times, although I didn't turn to boys, alcohol or drugs,
I found comfort in depression,
I found comfort in drowning
Because I could not find comfort in you.

If you had taken the time to talk to me about anything either than my grades.
If you had taken the time to thoroughly look at me.
Look at me as your baby girl.
Your baby girl that you held for the first time and vowed to protect and aid 'till your dying day.

I choose to take a break from being in the house for a few days
Because I need a break from people who do not take note of the unhappiness that overwhelms me.

For once, I just want to break down in your arms without being in fear that I will be the enemy in the house.

It has been hard to feel like I'm enough for even myself because
I have never, and will never feel like I am enough for you guys.
And Everyday I'm reminded of how I have failed you as a daughter.