“you’ve lost weight”
what do you mean?
i haven’t been eating lunch anymore
my appetite is hard to find
the hunger pains have begun to feel familiar
i still look down and see the same thighs, the same stomach, feel the same nausea
i still avoid my reflection in the mirror after i get out of the shower
but then i really look at my face
for it is always the only thing i can study
and i see it
i see the gray pallor to my skin
my face has grown sharper
sadder
my skin looks tight, as if it can barely hold on
gripping to the contours of my bones
and i feel her lingering in the dark
her soft lulling voice tickles my ear
her fingers graze the skin of my collarbone
her touch is icy cold
and she sounds so kind, so loving, when she tells me
“more” “more” “more”