how could you leave me there in a pile of my own ***** and an empty pill bottle next to me how could you look at me with my eyes barely open screaming why would i take the whole bottle and then disappear without a second thought i was lost for hours hallucinations taking over reality and my friend discovering me in the closet no one on the phone talking to myself
lately i’ve been able to handle this mess inside my head i don’t take my meds unless i separately need them soon 45 becomes 90 then 90 becomes 135 but i can’t bring myself to reveal 135 is enough for 3 months i tell myself it’s a safety net if there’s ever a reason i’m not able to have them anymore but i’m scared of the next low along with the spiral that comes after all of a sudden they’re all gone and i’m on my way six feet under
it’s getting closer.. i can feel the tips of my toes wet and ice cold as they start to grab the edge i felt okay i felt peace when did this feeling switch those past feelings fleeted in an instance my world started crashing just like the sound of the water directly underneath me destructive thoughts invade my brain i can’t do this anymore is it even worth it
there is an empty void where my heart used to beat or there is every emotion you could possibly imagine sadness anger despair hate admiration obsession love it’s all or nothing when it comes to how i feel i’m sorry you have to bear the overwhelming weight that i put on you an unreasonable amount of responsibility that you never asked for and here you are but why
my life was one of the many candles in a witch's lair you snuffed out my steady flame I am grey and quickly fading drifting away even in still air only a whisper of what I used to be