nuggz

nuggz Sep 2018

my racing thoughts have come to a halt
i can't feel anything
nor can i process anything
i've come accustomed to the numbness
so much that my mind
has joined my feelings
in the pit of nothingness that consumes
my entire being

nuggz Sep 2018

wish you were here.

i know you are right for me
i feel it deep within my soul
all it takes is your voice
to bring me back up to earth
from the hell within my mind

Sep 2018

JustHayy

Purpose.

I am
Entirely certain
My very existence
Was to ensure
He would never be
Alone
For one moment
In his life.

Sep 2018

JustHayy

Pinky promise

One day
when the time is
just perfect
you will feel the sun
strike your cheeks
and warm your soul
and you will know that
rock bottom
was just the pit in which you were
remolding yourself into
the new you
built again to with stand this world
you can run
until your feet are raw
and throw fists at the sky in rage
you can scream
as if the fire will burst from your lungs
but when your done being angry
here I am
welcoming you back home.
home is where your heart is
and I will hold the pieces of yours
until I make something
extraordinary
out of the very crumbs of your existence
I pinky promise
until the day I die
I will continue to stay
just long enough to see you
stand

nuggz Sep 2018

deceived.

how do you mourn someone
who is still alive
watching them live their life
without a mere thought
of them leaving you in ruins
it's funny how you can love someone
with your whole being
thinking they really cared about you
but can cut you out of their life
without a second thought

nuggz Sep 2018

cherophobia.

whenever i am at my happiest
i can't help but feel
an impending doom weighing down my whole being
it starts as an uneasy feeling
and panic and anxiety starts to consume me
it lasts for weeks
and to no avail
it never goes away
the only thing that has ever seemed
to bring me comfort
is the self-destruction that spirals
into my pain killer addiction
pills are the only thing to bring me out of this rut
that i always seem to be stuck in
week after week
month after month
year after year
i am so tired
i am so high
i am so done
it'll never go away, i've accepted that
the only way to make it better forever
is maybe the end of myself

nuggz Sep 2018

home.

looking up at the stars
admiring their ethereal beauty
wondering how i got here
i feel so empty
lonely
and lost
take me away
put me up in the sky
to live with the stars
admired from afar
so i don't have to feel this way anymore