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 Oct 2013 Niveda Nahta
Jane
Actions not words,
new lesson learned.. or trying at least.
It's a hard one to swallow when it means so much more..
More to my heart..
To my health..
To my life...

To question the actions of the one I hold dear..
I don't want to see, to look, or believe.
Could you be...  only words?
You couldn't... You wouldn't.. be just like her?..

Her, a girl who cared for me not,
but her words spun a web in which I got caught.
Took a year to untangle, brush the cobs from my eyes
To look at her actions and cast aside all the lies

I tell myself now, never again
But could you be.. only words?
You couldn't.. You wouldn't .. just make believe?

If so, I dont want to know,
I'll just let it be.
The truth would hurt more, or I'll die and then see.

You couldnt.. You wouldn't.. do that to me?..
*Any feedback is/criticism is great!*
Please leave any opinions or thoughts you have after reading it :)
Tonight, I was made aware of my lonliness,
Or my lonliness was made aware of me,
Either/Or, I'll walk like confidence cause it's all I've got everything to lose,
No one needs to know how this feels,

These words will haunt you...
Your lust will haunt you...
My absence will haunt you...

Like a ghost inside of your head,
Your vanity showed through,
You packed up and started new,
And I'm still here, teary-eyed, and wondering why,
So don't blame me because I'm ******* bitter,
And I'm demanding some answers.

Don't try to fulfill my memory,
Because you are just a memory,
Don't express your love for me,
Because it's something you'll regret,
Don't let yourself feel special,
Because you're just something I'll forget...
Angst has taken over. I'm getting sloppy...
The innocence of a newborn child

Is as pure as an angel

God's grace engulfing his body

Our love surrounding this child

Always with us

Their memories shine.


**In Loving Memory

of

Zachary Tompkins

1998-2010
ⓒ Moco's Mind
I trust your feeling well today
I'm rather worried about you
I want to reach out but I don't know what I'd say
It makes me so sad to know your feeling blue
This isn't what I wanted
I never wanted this
Thanks to you, I'm feeling rather haunted
but I'm not sure if its you I miss
Your there even if your not there
How is that even possible
Its rather unfair
These thoughts are intolerable
I hate you, I love you
I think I'd much rather have the flu
Ever been so happy you wanted to cry?
**** I wish I had wings so I could Fly!
Lookin’ up to the sky thankin’ God I’m alive
You see, I was witherin’ away deep down
inside, but know I’m feelin. so rivived. I can
keep runnin’ this was to my heart’s content.
I promise to give it my all in every single event
just as long as you promise to give it your all in
every single moment of your life. We both know
things in life don’t come easy, but we gotta stick
with what we know and try new things even if it
brings us strife. Don’t worry about the little things
‘cause they clip your wings. You’re as strong as a
giant and as smart as a genius. All you gotta do is
keep your head up through all that is goin on and
I’ll make sure I’m there for you when you need some
one to lean on.
Dear guardian angel
I need you here today
The road has been ruff
And I have nothing good to say
Dead guardian Angel
Where have you been
My world is crashing down
I need to pray for my sins
Dear Guardian Angel
The night is coming soon
I can't bear the thought of being in this room
Dear guardian angel
Is that the voice I hear
Or is it just my own thoughts consuming me with fear
Dear guardian angel
Im looking up in the sky
Wondering if my life is all built from a lie
Dear guardian angel
I see the daylight now
I feel you are near I know it somehow
Dear guardian angel
Thank you for saving me
I'm not suppose to see you
That's not how's it suppose to be
Dear guardian angel
It's warm it's sunny and bright
All because you helped me to make it through the night.
Nothing but water. Millions of chemical bonds that sever bonds of the heart, infinitesimally small, but they amount to canyons of separation. On the edges of the canyon stand pieces of a whole, tied through chance equally as small that grew into something beautiful.

The ties that spanned this fluid canyon are stressed by the howling winds of uncertainty, and crashing waves of dire futures lap at this fragile twine, but it holds fast and firm. He won’t let the bond break. He stands ashore of his continent framed by ignorance of what lies beyond its coral shoals, knowing nothing of the ocean that spans his affection, or of the island where his affection finds a home.

And through the storms that threaten to rip the rope that binds him to his adoration from his blistered fingers, he can see the light that keeps his grip fast and strong. He has read Gatsby and knows the perils of ominous lights that cast shadows on placid waters, but Fitzgerald knows nothing of the tangibility of this boy’s shining beacon.

She stands, not as a faint reminder of what once was, but of a blaring beacon of all that could be, and her light pierces through the cynical fog that tries to ***** out her light.

You are my beacon. You are my light through the fog of my daily struggles, the beacon that guides me through these rocky waters, holding my hand so as not to run aground on the sandbars of doubt below me. I stay strong, and I stay hopeful, for one day the bonds of this watery divide will break, and this distance will be lessened, and as easy as folding a map to span miles, I will be there with you.

So as I stand on this shore, ignorant of the island across this canyon, I hold fast in my grip, and I would sooner be pulled into the sea than let this go, hold onto the ties that bind your heart to mine.
I wrote this in February of 2012. I wrote it for someone, and while stumbling through their Tumblr for the first time, I found that they had actually posted this on their Tumblr. I haven't spoken to her in over six months. This mostly just fills me with loss, shame, and regret. But, I treat this place as a community, and a community with which I want to share these pieces of my life.
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