Shards of memory
still draw blood,
razor sharp reminders
of another life,
when you loved me
and I loved you.
I could sense gravity on my skin then,
hear the color flush into the blooms,
anticipate the grasshopper's solo
before its first note–
but that was back when
you loved me
and I loved you.

I knew it was you
Your soul was inscribed on mine
The man I envisioned,
I knew you were the one
The man I dreamed of
I have always known you.
Though only recently saw your face
Your smile, your touch,
The way you calm and inspire me
I always knew it was you
Even when I didn't yet know
Just who you were

Sometimes I am unraveling,
slowly coming apart,
at the seams,

Sometimes I am strong,
standing tall,
and acting quickly,

Sometimes I am nice,
helping the others,
being selfless,

Sometimes I am cruel,
hurtful to everyone,
and uncaring,

Sometimes I lose hope,
but that does not,
ever last,

I want to break loose with hell,
roll like a tumbleweed
across the endless plains,
blow through nameless towns,
become a sweeping rain.

I want to fall in love with
the Queen of Hearts,
bedroll with faithless tarts,
shoot lead lightning from
my itchy fingertips
& rustle cattle.

I want to live
my life on the run,
ride fast
like the wind
on a trusty steed,
hold up banks & rob trains,
guzzle red-eye whiskey
to **** my pain
& not end up etched
on an oaken tombstone,
somewhere unknown,
decaying under
the prairie sun.

I was a single grain of coffee
floating in the porcelain mug
that was your heart