What were you –
When your lips would part
And incoherent words
Would fall from your mouth?

Where were you –
When the sheets were tangled at my feet
While his arms were laced around my frame
And his breath smothered my thoughts?

Who were you –
When I would implore
That you open up and help me understand
The world you call your own?

How were you –
Able to let me fall from
A ledge while you stood there
Not even looking my way?

When did you realize –
That it was not me you wanted
But the mere thought of me
Which brought you to think
That you were in love?

you break your neck and waste your breath to prove to them that you can be the best.
you hate yourself and change yourself
just so you could shine from all the rest.
but don't you think it's gone to far?
you act like this is all part of the test.
your not sure who you really are.
the scars they've left imprinted on your chest.
but it's what you wanted the whole time. just to hope they'd change their minds. to the response you wish to find.
'till nothing else seems clear.
suffocated with old fears.
you run away from trouble fast.
you never stay to face up to your flaws.
you never learned from what has passed.
you put your gaurd to keep you from their claws.
you're troubled, weak, and frightened now.
you'll never reach to make very far.
you never stopped to wonder how
you never seen how scared you really are.
but it's what you wanted the whole time. just to hope they'd change their minds. to the response you wish to find.
'till nothing else seems clear.
suffocated with old fears.

i saw her when I walked back.
when I couldn't have seen anything past the fog.
she took my hand and asked me to follow.
but i reluctantly took a different path.

not sure i knew where i was headed.
when i turned back she was gone.
her face faded to the back of my head.

I walked till my feet blistered.
till my legs burned and ached.
till they gave out and fell.
but she was there; to take my hand again.
and I recognized her.

she is that girl.
the one who haunts my sleep.
the one who brought me to my knees.
the girl who made me promise.

but it was all just a dream.

lay down to sleep.
drink warm milk & count the sheep.
mind is restless to the dreams that make your heart drop.
take a drink. smoke a blunt and see a shrink.
up all night thinking of ways to make the dreams stop.

sit out the day
got nothing else to say
pockets empty, fingers bleeding for some money
it's a shame
knowing life is not a game
dulled away from things you use to know were funny

cut up your knuckles, broke your
bones.
forget the good times; let her go.
pulse raises. heart beat pounds.
cold sweats and head aches to quiet sounds.

we danced on broken glass
and walked upon the sand.
you'd never let me pass
but I had different plans.

you waited at the light.
I couldn't stand the sight
and so you walked back home.
I didn't really know.

how can I leave?
you never did me wrong.
I bruise and bleed.
I write my silly song.

I take it day by day.
I know it wasn't right.
Just laughed it all away.
but kept me up at night.

I didn't want the truth.
i walked away from you
and left you all alone.
a couple years ago.

how can I leave?
you never did me wrong.
I bruise and bleed.
I've known it all along.
I know; I've seen.
I write my silly song.

The value of a good name cannot be put onto a dollar or in the bank.
It is not something that is sold nor bought.
It cannot be seen nor held
Yet should be treated as a jewel.
It should be regarded as a prized physical possession.
And as all prized possessions, it can be stolen.
It is a fire kindled by the goodness of oneself and the purity of intention.
The fire once kindled; easy to preserve. Yet sadly, as all fires, can be extinguished.  
An arduous task to rekindle a strong fire. To redeem that of the past.
It can't be re-credited from ones own experience; not from their rewards.
It is rebuilt from the adversity; from the tribulation, heartache, and regret.
A good name is the reward of forgiveness and maturity.
The reward for understanding and suffering.
It is a reward from those whom admire.
From those you need.
From those you have loved.
And The ones you have hurt.

you're burning bridges
faster than you can build them,
making an abandoned
island
out of what was once called paradise      
  
you looked at me with an empty heart
and I tried to fill it  
"you're good, baby, you're so good"  
but my voice was so weak
and you didn't believe me
and, baby, you've gone bad

you're so busy fighting to be relevant
that you forgot to stop
fighting against the boy
with a smile like the moon
and arms like home

you've tried so hard to be tough
that you won't let the good things in
and the bad things won't leave
and you're dying from your own poison,
rotting in your own prison
from the inside out and

you're begging me
for something to quench your thirst but
I could pour you
glass after glass of compassion
and you'd empty it onto the floor because you can't bear to actually drink it

Instead you chase whiskey with self-pity
and I
watch helplessly
as pieces of my past
come dancing to life on stage
in front of me

I can't give hope to arms too shaky to hold it,
can't give faith to a stomach that can't keep it down     
     
"you're good, baby, you're so good," I whispered

but then I walked away and took my words with me, too

Be not a slave to the ways
in which things have been done,
but, rather,
take charge of the ways
in which things could be done.