****, it happened again,
where I pull my feelings out,
and put them back again,
my feelings shouldn't matter,
but apparently they can still get shattered.
comfortable, uncomfortable, and comfortable again,
it keeps happening the same, is it a shame or just lame?

I got it stuck in my head that all I wanna do is go to bed
holey socks shocks my classy mother,
who asks if I still wanna be a mother
Repetitiveness runs through me,
Obsessiveness comes ruining this so-called "life"
that I've come to live,
Cheers, I made it through another year,
is it really that important?

It's like shittin' on all my dreams
whenever I open my eyes,
let the pendulum swing
till it tells everything
feels like a little kid today,
but I keep hatin' away
police make me nervous,
maybe a little curious,
it's nice outside,
*******,
I like when it's like ice outside
hide your scars like you hide your feelings,
no one ever sees them,
everybody thinks you're fine,
and no one knows you're lyin'
hatin' on your body,
hatin' on your insides,
don't try callin' me,
you won't make it better,
shoot me in the foot,
it would hurt lesser
than the feelings I keep feeling,
****, I don't even listen.
I say things won't help because I've already tried them,
don't say it, I'm stubborn
I'm not gonna let you help
because I'm just a ******,
****, this *****,
roll a blunt, and just give up.

sharing your space,
the space I love,
the space I crave,
you keep me warm,
you keep me comfortable,
the heat in our minds,
the heat is fine.
reds,  oranges, and yellows make up you,
blues, greys, and blacks too
the sky and the earth come together,
the sky and the earth are one that is treasure
sleepy, sleepy,
need to wake up
sleepy, sleepy,
remember our luck?
the luck we have,
the luck we share,
the space I need,
the space that cares

looking past my pain,
I like the rain.
my hatred is gone,
so,
so long
I hope I won't miss you,
because away I flew
into the air,
drifting,
floating,
not fading away,
so  you don't have to stay
with me because I can do this on my own,
with my  crown being shown
light now fulfills my dreams,
nothing terrible I wish among me,
at least not anymore,
as I stare at the floor,
the creaks in the wood,
I thought I never could.

The things I remember
stay in my brain
because of this,
I am still in pain.
you may not know what it is,
I am sorry I didn't tell you,
but please, please understand this:

It won't seem to fade,
this memory of shame,
how can I stop being afraid?

I  am scared shitless
it will happen again,
but this time will I be the witness?

I love you so much,
but you're not safe,
what  will you do this time,
bash in my face?

AND I'M ******* SORRY FOR BRINGING MY HEART TO YOU BUT LEAVING MY SOUL IN THE ******* BACKYARD BUT YOUR EYES WEREN'T EVEN ******* OPEN I MEAN LIKE YOU WOULD'T EVEN KNOW IF I WAS IN A ******* COMA FOR ****'S SAKE YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S SUFFERING SO STOP DROWNING IN ******* THIN AIR I WISHED SOMEONE DID WAKE ME UP BEFORE I DECIDED TO GIVE MY WRETCHED SOUL TO THE ******* BACKYARD LIKE WHAT THE **** DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME AM I SUPPOSED TO LEND MY ******* SHOULDER TO YOU WHILE YOUR SCREAMS BREAK THESE ******* SKELETONS THAT I SPENT SO LONG TO REASSEMBLE I SAY EITHER YOU STOP PRETENDING OR THAT I BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE ******* SERIOUS AND I HOPE YOU WOULDN'T END UP IN THE ******* GRAVEYARD BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY ******* HEART AND I AM SURE I WILL BE GUILTY FOR THIS BUT HOW THE **** AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE A CONSCIENCE WHEN MY HEART IS WEAK I JUST WISHED YOUR SORROW DIDN'T BRING MINE BACK. DID YOU HAVE TO END THE CALL? DID YOU? TELL ME, DID YOU? PLEASE DON'T END YOUR LIFE.