The things I remember
stay in my brain
because of this,
I am still in pain.
you may not know what it is,
I am sorry I didn't tell you,
but please, please understand this:

It won't seem to fade,
this memory of shame,
how can I stop being afraid?

I  am scared shitless
it will happen again,
but this time will I be the witness?

I love you so much,
but you're not safe,
what  will you do this time,
bash in my face?