Build a rocketship,
fly out of the atmosphere,
live among the stars.

Lazarus left a final song
of mystery and awe
turning passing into another performance
recorded and acted with panache
you will always remain
a chain of memories
formative around my neck
you taught me everything
about the magic of music
about masquerades and disappearing
into another skin
to get your message across
cracked wires
you survived addiction
I am doing my best
luckily never had the funds to sink
so low
and now I read you owned a unit in Sydney
my hometown
and I would have loved more than anything
a random encounter
on the street, in a pub
just to nervously worship
at the altar of you

...after what feels like years of falling off the horse and being advised by well meaning friends that the best course of action is to get right back on, it has dawned on me that rather than falling off the horse I am indeed being thrown, as demonstrated by the invariable trampling I receive while trying to regain my feet. I have therefore decided to take this as life's way of telling me to stay the **** away from horses.

I took myself to the dark places
Cold clusters of pulsing arteries
Veins running red and ready to bleed
Blade sharpened thin and ready to slice skin
Every time tremors of this pain filled reality plagued me
I took to these deathly fantasies
That I imagined and tried to die
But the razors were dull and rusty
And I never had the strength to
Cut through the physical pain
The pills did not ****
Only damaged my teeth and kidneys
The only peace that came was when I slept
Clenched tightly under cover and in between dreams
When only nothingness reigned
Little blackouts like small deaths comforted me

You must give him your life.
He won't settle for less.
He will turn it into poetry
and become you
for a little while.
He will wear your skin
next to his own
and feel your darkest pains,
your most exquisite pleasures.
He will finally understand
your definition of love
and why you will leave him.
He will steal the secret
of your deepest longing
and know how to satisfy you.
But he will make
a few unasked for
subtle alterations
in your soul.
Then he will return it
as something
slightly different.
You will notice.
He will amaze you;
he will charm you.
You might even love him,
but you will never trust him.

  ~mce