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Oct 2023 · 237
Xin Loi
Always Second Oct 2023
I should’ve never talked to you the way I did
I’m sorry for the words that were said
No level of any emotions should
You ever be talked to the why I talked to you

Xin loi, langga.
Oct 2023 · 272
Untitled
Always Second Oct 2023
you break down my concrete walls
like they’re the thinnest piece of glass
Aug 2023 · 103
I fell in love,
Jun 2023 · 701
15 years…
Mar 2023 · 129
From your perspective
Always Second Mar 2023
Tell me about shadows
What’s your favorite shade?
How do you like the light to reflect?
Do you like it when it fades?
Paint me the perfect gradience
Of your pure imaginations
To describe exactly how radiant
The glow of your creations
Let the aperture of your iris
Lead the tour of my curiosity
To comprehend each shutter
And the element of your luminosity
Jul 2022 · 273
Wrist Slap With A Paddle
Always Second Jul 2022
how nine words
and     one   emoji
can    ruin    thirty
precious minutes
that I now
lost
yo
ufu
cke
dup
when every minute counts
Jul 2022 · 250
Fireworks
Always Second Jul 2022
Vibrant colors with the smell of gunpowder
Ignited in the sky as sparks disperse
Though they’re pleasant to the viewer
They’re no music to my love’s ears
I used to love them, now they’re just okay
Wishing they don’t bring out fears
So my love can sleep today
Jun 2022 · 357
16 years…
Jun 2022 · 243
Untitled
Always Second Jun 2022
Love always wins
It’s just a matter of time
And if the time never comes
It will continue to exist
May 2022 · 145
Half Full
Always Second May 2022
Every word that shatters my heart
Every silence that aches through my veins
Every thought that I don’t wanna start
Every time you push me away

I find strength in the littlest place
I find hope you’ll come back again
I find love in the saddest state
I find reasons under my skin so thin

Why it still feels right
To hold on to you so tight
I miss you
May 2022 · 225
I feel defeated
Always Second May 2022
And my soul is tired.
May 2022 · 119
Escenbeeyum
Always Second May 2022
Some say to hold onto love loosely
So that when they leave
It won’t exit so painfully
Love is so vulnerable
And with you I won’t choose
The painless route
If this pain is all I’ll have left of you
I won’t ever regret these scars
I will embrace them
And nurture each slit
For they’ve become
A part of me
These beauty marks
Are abstract and divergent
They continue to grow
And narrate a tale
Of our everlasting romance
Apr 2022 · 111
Too
Always Second Apr 2022
Too
I kindly ask for forgiveness
For my overwhelming endearment
The connection between us
Showered my soul with fulfillment
I tripped over my own deed
As you ****** parts of me untouched
And this I express respectfully
To the girl I loved too much
Apr 2022 · 108
Holding onto you
Always Second Apr 2022
You can’t make me leave
I have nowhere else to go
Why can’t you just believe
My path is paved towards your heart
Apr 2022 · 268
Eighty Eight
Always Second Apr 2022
You gave me this piano
Bc you felt the music in me
I promise to always play for you
Anytime that you plead
I love this piano
Almost as much as you
So I play these keys
A beautiful song or two
Just to see your smile
See the glimmer in your eyes
And put your heart at ease
Now that you’re gone
I play this piano
Hoping you can hear me
From miles apart
Knowing you can feel me
Apr 2022 · 124
Idk
Always Second Apr 2022
Idk
I need to do my dishes
I need to fold my laundry
I need to clean my place and
I can’t find motivation
I’m sick of coughing
And feeling under the weather
I’m on my period
And I feel heavier
I need to take care of me
But it’s so hard to breathe
So what is the purpose?
When all I feel is emptiness
Apr 2022 · 104
Sour
Always Second Apr 2022
Unity. Equality. Liberation.
Yet we are still looked down on as a woman
We don’t have the strength to protect
We don’t have the safety net
We don’t have the power
to be head of household
We don’t have the mind to mold
A family of four as a whole
Is it because we’re gay?
And looked down on as a prey?
Because it’s easier to point out a rainbow
Than a shade of black, white, and gray.
Why couldn’t I just be a boy cuz then, maybe then, I could be your man.
Apr 2022 · 98
Heart Shaped Face
Always Second Apr 2022
Two and a half hours I saw you today
Your mask was on the entire way
Your eyes sparkled every time it met mine
You then took them off at the end of the night
From my throat to my stomach
I felt a sudden rush
My eyes melted as my cheeks turned pink
My smile so big I couldn’t hide
Your precious face was then uncovered
Your perfect cheekbones
And your straight teeth
Your wonderful smile
And the cutest dimple
How could such beauty stand 12 inches close to me?
It is you that I’ll always admire
Apr 2022 · 173
Untitled
Always Second Apr 2022
I was never here to compete with him
My main purpose was to make you smile
I know my chances are very slim
But every chance is worth the while

I don’t compare him to myself
To try and change the way I am
I want you to see me for yourself
How I can be more than a man

I don’t write poems just to woo you
I don’t play music just to trick your heart
I do it because it is what I love to do
And it’s my favorite kind of art

So don’t question the love that I have
I don’t do it because I want to be wanted
My intentions are genuine and innocent
Because it’s more pure that I ever imagined
Mar 2022 · 123
She is my Autumn
Always Second Mar 2022
You’re the strongest woman I know
You’re the most precious human I’ve adored
Your skin is the softest thing I’ve touched
Forever will never be enough
Longing for you is permanent
And my love for you is infinite
Always Second Mar 2022
Every Wednesday for the rest of her life,
She said.
I am safe with her love,
She said.
I will always love you,
She said.
But one thing she didn’t say is
She’ll never leave.
Now she’s gone,
And I have to be okay with that.
Mar 2022 · 105
Obsessively
Always Second Mar 2022
“Active now” is the only dose I have left
19 hours since our last word
Now I’m scrolling through our best
Memories that made our world turn
Always Second Mar 2022
Each hour that passes
The ache in my heart screams louder
Will I ever surpass this?
I can’t imagine life without her

I never wanted to let her go
I swear I didn’t give up on her
I just wanna let her know
Without her I’m a goner
Mar 2022 · 117
Good morning,
Mar 2022 · 106
Untitled
Always Second Mar 2022
To you I wasn’t even an option
So I chose me cuz somebody has to
Did I choose the wrong path?
Did I make the right decision?
For the cost of losing you altogether.
We loved hard but to each other
That wasn’t enough
I need to know that I am enough
When you realize you can’t live without me
Then come back to me
I will be here waiting
Feb 2022 · 926
Because…
Always Second Feb 2022
Words that don’t suffice
Emotions that are sacred
Colors that doesn’t exist
Impossibilities that are granted
Are why she is poetry
2/7/2022 4:55pm
Feb 2022 · 109
Alcohol
Always Second Feb 2022
All the happiness I feel
Love is indeed real
Come to me and say
Oh can I join you?
Hoping this will last
Only for a moment
Long lived inebriated
2/4/2022 9:09pm
I’m drunk lol
Feb 2022 · 188
Ali Gatie
Always Second Feb 2022
You poor old soul
How must you go through
Such heartbreak
And describe the words
I can never find
You write the emotions
That’s inevitable
For one to feel
And they find comfort
In what you say
Because they’re real
2/4/2022 8:54pm
Feb 2022 · 106
I’m not sad
Always Second Feb 2022
I told her to come over
But she was too tired
To deal with the exposure
Of his continuous desire
To interrogate her
Of an affair she hasn’t retired

She asked me what’s for dinner
I wanted to reply “home cooked meal”
Alcohol and nicotine simmer
Through my bloodstream to be real
My heart is stuck in winter
With the facade of a glimmer

This bliss is a drug
For it never lasts
All I need is a hug
And a spell is then cast
Until I unplug
I’m back in the past
2/4/2022 8:33pm
Feb 2022 · 267
this too shall pass
Always Second Feb 2022
each storm that passes
my feet cemented
till the rain washes
our grin that’s painted
on our faces
while it lasted
so good, no wasted
time so sacred
strong we stand
until we make it
2/4/2022 6:21pm
Feb 2022 · 85
You are not mine
Always Second Feb 2022
It always feels like a dream
Being with you feels so right
So I will choose to stay asleep
Just to hold you one more time
2/4/2022 1:34pm
Feb 2022 · 120
Awoken
Always Second Feb 2022
Two lives, three hearts broken
Pretending, with words unspoken
Trying to omit, this sin we commit
Not wanting to admit
That we should just quit
2/3/2022 9:10am
Feb 2022 · 296
Believe
Always Second Feb 2022
I said love would conquer all
But where’s the strength to stand tall?
Persevere in this war alone
For the blame is what you own
Stay true to your shadows
Be strong when the wind blows
2/1/2022 8:22pm
Fight for what you believe in.
Jan 2022 · 91
Unconditionally
Always Second Jan 2022
Call me stupid, call me pathetic
Use every negative word to describe me
Don’t be sympathetic
Nothing will stop me, just let me be
I know that you care
For me and my well being
But life isn’t fair
Without pain it’ll have no meaning
Let me go through this heart break
To feel every agony and suffering
I know what’s at stake
I know my pace is buffering
But it’s the path I chose
And this is not for show
Cuz I’m gonna love her
And that’s what I’ll live for
1/30/2022 3:19pm
Jan 2022 · 88
Untitled
Always Second Jan 2022
Kiss me with your lips so sweet
Slow and passionately
Hold me and make me feel complete
Warm and tightly
Love me like you’re free
Now to eternity
1/30/2022 1:52am
Jan 2022 · 292
Because you’re worth it
Always Second Jan 2022
I forget about my self every morning
For one more “hello, love”
I bury my feelings every conversation
For one more “I miss you”
I neglect my mental health
For one more “good night”
I swallow my pride everyday
For one more “I love you”
1/24/2022 5:43pm
Jan 2022 · 82
Veto
Always Second Jan 2022
I revisited a scar
Grasped the old tear in my heart
It told a story of an all time low
How nothing ever is just for show
I neglected the feelings of others
There’s just so much to discover
With life being so short
Why play it with poor sport?
1/21/2022 8:23pm
Jan 2022 · 170
#84
Always Second Jan 2022
#84
I love your honesty. You’re so transparent with me. What more could I ask for when my future has you in store. At all times you’re so blunt, your words always so upfront. Truthfulness is our foundation, which is impossible to find in this generation. I love you so dearly, happiest birthday to you sincerely.
1/20/2022 5:44pm
Jan 2022 · 93
Paint Me
Always Second Jan 2022
You stroke the bristles of this brush
To the left and sometimes to the right
My wild thoughts are filled with black & white
It comes and goes especially at night
What is art without its creator?
Your mind is our mediator
You are superior to all of this
I am an empty page, I am your canvas
And you bring color to my abyss
1/18/2022 1:15am
Jan 2022 · 89
Invisible
Always Second Jan 2022
Behind closed doors
Texting for a while
Staring at the floor
Trying to hide your smile

Inhaling to hold your tears
Expressing you’re tired
When you’re in your feels
Her company is desired

Short hugs
Don’t say “babe”
Pull drugs
Stay contained

We live in shadows
And stay positive
Hoping it won’t show
Our love so secretive
1/7/2022 11:13pm
Jan 2022 · 88
Yes
Always Second Jan 2022
Yes
Where does your heart lie? Does it hide behind the lies and the smiles you portray love to be? To be fake in the face of your children to see? Does it hide in the truth the  “you” came out to believe? Is it that hard to accept the color of the blood that runs through the leaves that grow on your branches and miss the chances of living a life so free? These are the questions that posses the expressions of answers that are “Yes.”
1/4/2022 2:10pm
Jan 2022 · 112
decide
Always Second Jan 2022
you deserve better.
your kids deserves better.
he deserves better.
I deserve better
so which path will you choose?
1/4/2021 8:28am
Jan 2022 · 108
Untitled
Always Second Jan 2022
Tonight, I looked deep in your eyes
I held you in my arms so tight
I kissed your lips just right
Your love touched my soul
And I’ve never felt so full
Complete
Nothing can ever compete
For what we have
So magical
And unexplainable
A fairy tale that may never come true
But that’s okay, as long as I have you
1/3/2021 11:54pm
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