3/4 a bottle of fireball and a bag of cheap wine later you and I could be found cuddling the concrete at 3 a.m
Chalking our night on to the streets together
I felt alive
My inhibitions were lowered so when you asked if I was afraid of the dark I lowered my guard
and simply told you no. I've only ever been afraid of what I might look like when I came back into the light
When I had to face the mirrors again
The cracks and the crevices where my confidence hid
Under the bundles of broken glasses and chipped teeth
You were silence at full volume
I had tried to rip the whispers from your windpipe, but they always seemed to blow away with the reasons to let myself love you again
You were a page torn from the bible three nights before they burned it
You were one of the last surviving scriptures
And all I ever wanted was to be granted your gospel
To wash my sins away at the mouth of the river
My heart soaked and my smile wide I would arrive in heaven every time you were by my side
I know you never meant to fire, lover
I know we never meant to burn each other
To break the glass over the grass and walk on broken beauty and shards of crooked spines
I know we never gave each the time of the day
Even when we were sober it was hard to walk away
You captivated my chaos, and made it easy for me to accept crazy
That handle of fireball wasn't the only thing that fazed me, you dazed me and entranced me
It was hard to believe someone as awkward as you romanced me
But you spoke love like you learned it from Rosetta Stone
I worshipped at your alter, the confessional of those eyes, I spoke in tongues
I was bilingual and forever single
Learning the words to every catchy jingle from eharmony to match.com
Maybe it was because of every boyfriend who ever dated my mom
Who made me feel inferior
That taught me being a man was being handsome and completely ugly on the interior
Or because every time I broke a heart
I would go home and paint pain to wrist a work of art and find a new place to start again
Or maybe I was so used to best friends who played pretend
Who sang first comes ache, then comes break, it seems no one can really relate with Nate
Once I hit bottom, bottom hit back
And I left because you ended up being everything I lacked and for the simple fact that when you were to say I love you I was too scared to say it back
So I drank 1/5 a bottle of broken and tried to fill the empty spots
To make it whole with just a few more shots
Usually ending up back on the concrete
I would wait until you fell soundly asleep
The night holding tight to dawn as I held you tight to me
I whispered into your ear, I'm not afraid of the dark my darling, as long as you walk through it with me

You were born naked
You opened your eyes to a smile; a smile that would day be found in yours
Then you closed your eyes, I bet you can't tell me what your first memory is
That first glorious breath you remember taking, the first fully grown tree you saw when you thought "Wow, that's how big I'm going to be one day"
The words you spoke when you played pretend for the first time
We forget so often
The way the moon reflected off the shadows in ours rooms late at night
Brought those walls to life
I remember the way it felt when a blade pierced my skin at 6 years old
I remember being told "go away ******, don't you remember we don't like you"
I never forgot after that
Never forgot that we are Giants, built on the shoulders of God, we stand, mighty and magnificent
Take that pain you feel, replace the anger with love and let yourself heal
You're beautiful
You're holy and far from hopeless
Remember today might be the only day you ever live again
Remember whatever you thought tore you apart left you intact
Remember what took your breath away left you breathing
Remember that fear can be conquered
You can find the light
Learn to defeat the darkness and embrace the night
Remember you came from something much bigger than you, but in our world there is nothing bigger than you
You are you, you are a clenched fist and a box of blank paper
Pick up your own pen and write yourself perfect
You are perfect
Beyond beauty
Broken never fit you right, leave that coat behind
Remember what it feels like to have a first kiss
To drive for the first time
Remember what it feels like to stay out all night and regret it in the morning
Remember the way the sun still penetrates darkness when your eyes are closed
Remembers what it feels like to be held
When you're close to tears
Remember the days you thought you wouldn't live through because you're here now
The roughest paths lead to the prettiest destinations
But for now, bask in the glory that is your journey
You are you, always remember that

"It's hard to love someone who hates themselves
I hadn't seen you in weeks, you popped up out of nowhere just like the pills did
I barely recognized you
But I remember that sleeve, it's where I laid my heart to rest
It's where I brought a smile to a gunfight and lost with open arms
I had been empty for so long I forgot I gave my heart away in the first place
You used to remind me a lot of church, I dressed up really nice to try and impress something I wasn't sure existed
But I followed through on my promise and worshipped at the heel of your lies
The shrine I built for you broke last week, it fell off the counter and cracked almost the same way you left me
Your kiss left drunk and my words started slurring and my falling started occurring and the time started blurring together
I wasn't naive enough to think we'd be together forever but I thought you'd stick around for a little longer
At least long enough to let my pain pass, and help me get passed the past
Stuck to the tip of my tongue, I was always so close to telling you how I felt but your name always got clogged in my throat
I choked on the forgiveness I swore I'd never give
I thought about dying so much I forgot how to live
Fell head over healing for you
I remember that love
It was like remembering spring comes after every winter
And fall follows every summer
The seasons may fluctuate but they'll always come
With time, so will love
I want to apologize to the both of us for how long it took me to let things go
You needed space, I thought you meant outer so I tried to grab you the stars
I just ended up burning my hands
They blister at the sight of broken now, I hope you're doing okay
Me? I carry around a bunch of never-agains in my pockets and pictures of forgotten friends in my wallet, I remember love
It looks a lot like that mirror i lost myself in
It looks a lot like her
It looks a lot like you
It looks a lot like you"