i thought you'd color up my black and white thoughts
i thought you'd cast off all the demons inside me
the demons creeping up in me
at 4.15am
i thought you'd show me
what happiness feels like

but time goes on
and you're starting to realize
how miserable
and torn
and broken i am

*

so it's true what they say,
broken things never once meant anything

-*l.m

I met myself today
I recognized her pain
She's been hidden in sorrow
So scared to live again

I knew about her heartache
The shame carried inside
I accepted the pity
That she took in stride

I faced myself today
The heartache of the past
The torment & the glory
That cuts like broken glass

She lived through the discomfort
Prevailed through the guilt
I've come to realize now
That aside from what she felt

I am strong
I will thrive
I may doubt
But she'll survive

She may seem weak
But I have faith
That in this life
She can't hesitate

To be her dream
To let go.
To move ahead

...just take it slow.  

I know who I am now.

I'm my own hero.

I am
Me
And I'm proud to be.

There's something about living in this ice cold desert called loneliness.
Just makes you appreciete the little things in life.

Like when someone gives you a hug,
its like the sun peaks up over the horizon,
filling your body with overwhelming warmth,
melting away all the ice,
thawing out your frozen soul.

Feels so **** good...

You hope that it'll be everlasting and never leave,
but the sun sets,
and it does.

Now your cold again.

My sweet love,
my desert flower,
do you think of me when you kiss him?
Do his lips fit yours like mine?
Like pieces of a puzzle
God made to be side by side?

Does he hold you, touch you, and comfort you
the way you know I could?
Or has he grown distant like a man
who takes you for granted would?

Do you feel like he sets you free
to grow in life and be you?
Or do you feel like he thinks that you should just stay
the way he wants you to?

Do you think he'd fight 'til the day he dies
to give you everything on earth?
Or will he settle for a jewel on your hand,
then expect your heart to never thirst?

Would he want to experience your love
in beautiful, distant lands?
Or would he be content with a small life here
and trap you in it 'til the end?

Do you see blue
when you look into his eyes of brown?
Does his love lift you up to the sky
and make you feel alive?
Or send you, searching, into the arms of others
here on the ground?

Does he fear you leaving?
or does he think you'll stay
just because you owe him
for making a mistake?

Does he feel for you and dream of you so deeply
that he writes of you like this?
Or is his spirit dead? Is he passionless?
Is that what's amiss?

My dear,
my darling dancer,
if any battles of thought
with my questions I have won,
then, my desert flower,
you know what should be done.

I'm a ticking time bomb
Just about to go off
No matter what you do
You're in my mind
All the time
Tick
Tick
I'm gone
Remember me
Because I can't remember you
It's done
Already gone

momma always said,
the women in our family are strong

the kind of women that are out in the field doin the same back breaking work as the men
the kind of women carryin their own groceries and two babies from the chevy to the back door in one trip
the kind of women who take a backhand from their husband and hit him back hard enough to make his eyes water
the kind of women that bring babies into this world and watch their families fade away like candles flickerin in the wind

momma always said,
the women in our family are strong

so, i don't really have a choice,
i got to be