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natalee Apr 2019
the black ink smeared by tear drops on my paper reminds me of the sky the day your parents told me i was the reason they cried in the shower at night
natalee Apr 2019
you’ve caught my eye
and have my ear
i’m willing to listen
whenever you’re near
i hope we have a chance
for our lips to meet
you make my cheeks red
and heart skip a beat
natalee Apr 2019
i failed my exam
and cried all day

i don’t know who

     i called out her name

she took my hand
said we both felt the same

i love you with all i am
  Mar 2019 natalee
Tom Leveille
and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
natalee Mar 2019
i learn ways to enjoy life without you
i’ve stopped putting creamer in my coffee
the dark brew reminds me of your eyes
i run every morning
my shortness of breath
reminds me of your name
i spend more time reading
our love had me at a loss for words
you taught me to appreciate life more
because some things cannot stay
i’m starting to pick up new habits, but you’re still stuck in my old ways
natalee Feb 2019
i don’t know how to write anymore
no words
come to my head other than i miss you
it’s all been said before
poems have been written
songs have been played
no wishes can be granted for this broken heart to go away
all i ask is for this baggage to be lifted off my shoulders
no one taught me how to let go
i cling to our memories like my life depends on it
i don’t know how to be me without you because i thought it would always be us in the end
but you left me crying in my room that one october stripped of my self worth
now every time i think
i’m getting better
i look in the mirror and see those blue eyes you said you loved and can’t help but think that’s the last thing you saw before you decided to leave me
  Feb 2019 natalee
Barbara R Maxwell
If you hurt me I will not hurt you
I will walk away

If you love me
I will love you back

If you offer a chair
I will sit with you

If you offer peace
I will join you

If you hurt me I will not hurt you
I will walk away

If you love me
I will love you back
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