I'm constantly changing
now everyday I'm dreaming

You lay by the sun
so I won't see you leave
I can't believe
I'm really nothing

today I feel like a speck of dust
against all these people
who have luck

I just want to go home
wherever that is

is it time to go
I felt like an unknown guest
mourning with the clouds

My little grey dress
The day is almost coming

The dress is so plain
No rain

But when I have to go
Don't cry my love

My pretty
Pink lips painted
My hair not combed
But messy

The night was made to cry
Because there's no light

My time is coming
And yet I can feel
The sunrise as well

It says almost time
She would celebrate the day
She came to this world
Everyone would
Hug her
But she just smiled
And went on
She didn't care
What day it was
Because
To her
It was another
November day
Not her birthday

hey here come the holidays
I haven't answered your calls

my eyes roll into my sockets

we push and pull
I rant and you never listen

instead you call me
talk about your girlfriend

I hate to say
I wait for the day you're lonely
and you need me again

I loved being your only one
that's all gone now

you pushed me away
so I'll go away

I do love the grass
the pretty flowers that grow on the side
I love the ocean
Seeing the sun so big at sun down

I miss the mountains more
I miss the tree by my room
I miss the sun going down the mountains at sunset
I miss seeing Orion

I do love this

It's just not home anymore

I'm scared
I'm afraid
Petrified
Terrified
Of everything and everyone
Mostly fear towards
myself

Hiding underneath my softest blanket
turning off all the sounds of the world
covering up lights

Unprepared
I can't live inside my body

your calloused
your calloused
but you don't even know

picking off the skin
of my dried lips

bleeding fingertips
bleeding lips
but I don't even know

we go hand in hand
numb and cold
i know

When I covered myself
with gasoline
smelled so good

oh we live
in such a twisted world
some worship the
devil

bleeding fingertips
bleeding mouth
we'll never know
what pain is

hand in hand
numb and cold

does the fire ever feel like home
warm
with a soft brush to the bone

standing far away
eyes
I wait for the flames to rise

die down
couldn't be found
dancing around

clock hits zero
I can be okay
tomorrow
I make no promises

the fire is my home
I burn
I am burning
left to ashes

I will rise again

I use to live in a garden
With sixteen trees
Butterflies stuck in my hair
I owned every flower
But roses

I hope to hear your
Apology
Before you die

Heard your
Heart hurt
Maybe it's
Coming all back
To hit you

Conscious
Pitch black
You don't remember
What you did back in march

I use to live in a garden
Till you burned it down
Grew roses
Took me down

It's coming back around
To hurt you now

Don't let a man
Bruise you skin
And smile to a friend the next day

Don't let him make you feel less
When he is nothing better

Oh how did she survive
Grip so tight
We ran the streets in the afternoon
When they started to fight

She nows says
Don't let him
Don't ever accept it

An abusive man won't ever change
He'll just put on a mask
For the public

Cold air
heavy breathing
it's passing slowly
yet fast

I realize
my pain has died
I don't want to
cry about you anymore


So I fall asleep
I've had no dreams
I'll wake up fine

My veins are stronger
I'm no longer small
Not the flower you'll pick
and take
Leave me to die

My roots are everywhere now
There's no death

The sun glows
I see Venus
He is smiling

keeps me up late at night
wandering around
  the foggy lights keeps us down
Your window view
I can see a tree I never knew

falling asleep
inside a dream

I have to remind myself
this is real life

[time was created to keep us chasing a clock]

I'm living in my dreams everyday now
I can't wake up

I'm not sure if I should hate you
since I still miss you

caught in the thought
I should be focused on present time
not in last month

are you going say HI
because you never said goodbye

losing time
what are you doing tomorrow
I think I'm losing my composure

thinking about our memories
I was going to delete
not so sure anymore

should I forgive you
since I miss you

is it okay
if I steal your face

make a living
I'll give it back someday

is it okay
to pretend

it's wrong
I know

can we talk for a small second
can you be quiet
don't ask questions

can I steal your face
I'll keep it
wear it when I see them
they're gonna love me

it's in my hands now
I'll never take it off

we don't know how you got here
you're just there
you have no light
no sound
waiting for the sun to come around
pale grey
cold form
tides away
wish you well
see you again
27 more days
our one & only
dark seas
waiting for the sun to come around
she's the only one that makes you feel warm

I watch you
walk so calmly
breathe so slowly deeply
I envy you

there goes my youth
wasted on you

remember those years
spent on rooftops
beside you
shoulder to shoulder

every raindrop seemed to glow
from the city

I was to busy staring at you

wasted youth
cold swimming pools
first tattoos

does it matter now?
do you still hear me whisper goodnight

whenever I see you pass by
another new piercing

I dyed my hair
the first time we ever talked

you always had some special power
whenever I'm falling
you catch on
falling together

new adventures
every cloud burns
I was too busy staring somewhere else
to not notice your gaze

come alive
all because of you
in your eyes

having you by my side
I might as well die
reach out
hold your brain
so softly
never want to hurt you

my wasted youth
is not ruined

forget all about love

I just want someone to hate my guts

does anyone find me disgusting

tell me you hate me

do you ever close your eyes
in rage

I'm still breathing

doesn't anyone hate my existence

all I want

a craving and curiosity

hate me just a little more

let me have a taste of hatred

Hey
It's me
Can you believe
I still miss you

I'm not the same
who I used to be
when I laughed with you

Don't you remember
Please don't forget

The sun hates me
so I  hide inside all day

Please remember
Don't you forget

The clouds hate me
so I stay in bed

I wish I knew
how to find life
find love
find someone alone

You still make me feel so small
I'm not that little girl anymore

the only reason people stay is
for my pretty eyes
they like how I make them laugh
all that matters is my body
even my smile is a real catcher
the way I walk
I'm Lost

no love
all about the physical side

what happened to our heartbeat
and feelings

no love
love is dust

there's a long way to go
from here to a nearby universe

I'm deeply scarred
I wasn't too fond of how you handled
your anger
I felt like danger
ran through your veins

I cut a hole in my arm
to take away the pain
I noticed I had no blood
circulating through my
body

I was very sorry
when I told you how I felt
I shortly regret it
hope you don't
hold to it

It's a long way here
to the most open galaxy

If I'm going to get there
I'll have to sacrifice
my visions

I live in two worlds
take them away

can't stand it
don't hold onto me if you fall

I'm so heartless
numb
trying to find the guilt

I keep lying
I'm the best
that's how I want it

now that spring is gone
where is winter

I don't  like this summer
please don't take away the flowers

I'll pick up a pen
write on these empty pages

I'll behave
I'll love my mother

I want the rain
these sunny days
are burning away my brain

memories
are disappearing

I don't remember my friends

the walls are closing in
I don't want to lose myself

in this sun

this sun
blinding away
my hope

I was at the window
She was at the door

I smiled
She waved

What a beautiful day

I can write a million poems
I can use a billion words
all from different languages

I can write you a story
I can tell you a lie
I can show you the truth

these 36,000 words
mean nothing
nothing
nothing

If I can't you tell you
nothing
nothing
nothing

I promise
nothing

I'll write about
nothing

I talk of
nothing

I am a poet
I prepare myself
to feel nothing
when the last line is written

all 36,000 words
meant something

I carry 40k words on my back
heavy and light

so much darkness
in different shades

I'm in a grey space

you thought I'd go back
so did I

you're the reason I cried so many nights
that's fine
I still love you so much

feels so good to be mature
even if I hear you speak with anger

one day
I'll tell you
(I know I won't)

you're in the dark

you should move out
I forget you like the toxic people
around you
everything is rotten

I'm out
I'm out
I remind myself
I can't be trapped with you anymore

you're still so big in my weak heart

I hope you don't hate me
it's okay of you do

I hate you too

Truth is
I feel so heavy
Lost
Depressed
The feeling
Won't leave
Inside my head
I'm going in circles

Truth is
I'm depressed
And
I don't know what to do anymore

it hurts when you're all alone
you start to hear every little noise

something so quiet
or it's so loud

waiting for tomorrow to end
I feel like there's no beginning

I slept to the sound of your voice

I dreamed I said hello
hoping dreams come true

Come and save us
before we destroy ourselves

In 565 days I'll be somewhere dead
I'll be in hotel room 31
It'll be 1:22
With a window so high
I'll almost believe I can fly
Not so far away
I can hear you talk
The promises you break
Burn away
I want to sleep away
dream a reality
I'll never see

Magical moment
I don't know why
the sun rise

We all have
Our depressing
Poems

That makes us
Feel awesome

I've been hiding my face all day long
you know my name
you don't know it's mine

tiptoe
peeking through tall windows

I hope you haven't caught on

I'm all poison
shouldn't come closer

one day I'll be there
most of the time I'll hide

en la luna

no veo nada

los momentos que estuvimos juntos

en el espacio que nunca tocaré

y ahora me arrepiento

porque no estoy contigo

necesito una eternidad
para pensar
lo que hice mal

Show me the way
To the field
Filled with flowers

Show me the way

Dancing in the wind
Singing in the pouring rain

Show me the way
I've lost myself
I don't where I've been
Thought we were still in 2016

Heading towards 2018
It's seems over
Let's just skip one more year

I'm off to hibernate
All these teenagers
Look at me
Oh it's to late
Go away we won't make it

Vacation is over
We'll have no brains

Stomach filled with pain

I really don't want to see you again

What is poetry now ?
What you think
What you feel ..
Your thoughts

Or just words you can't say
So you type it down instead

He didn't see her
But it didn't matter

She was in plain sight
No one noticed

Her wish of being invisable
Is real

I will be ok


Maybe if I read this a million times
I'll believe it

I got lost
in the music

instead of their voices

It's cold
but the memories
of you holding me
still keeps me
warm

The cold wind hit my face
Like ice in rain

The sun could no longer
Keep me warm

I fought to run
Though no one really saw

If I were to Fall
I wouldn't dare hold on

I'm full of light
When I open my eyes
the darkness blinds me

I think I found love
within the letters you type

forming words
I've read a thousand times

suddenly they feel so different

I'm trying to know

I'm confused
keeping a distance

no goodnight kiss
no good morning message

promise
me a
goodbye

I think I've fallen
into a toxic puddle
of unknown chemicals

my mistake

It's my mistake

You get sad
when she leaves

Forgetting
that I am here

I'm not leaving

/I stay/

Don't want to come off rude
Just don't know how to say goodbye

Don't want to be mean
Have nothing to say

I think people don't want to see my face

I think i lost all my friends
I am misunderstood
I don't know
What to do

I just don't want to come off rude