there's a time to love alone
water falling down
silently

loving seems easy
when everybody looks perfect

black lines on my hand
I was ****** up

if you decide to leave
loving will be complicated

it's difficult to see
what you want from me

ripped the skin off my lips
I thought it was bliss
the way you mistreated me
in so many ways
all different days
couldn't have stayed
another minute with you
making me feel so small and cynical
now all my feelings are amusing
when you fall for someone deranged
love is so confusing
killed my breathing for you
starting to overthink
spiraling down
was I wrong to love you


loved the wrong person
or was it
loving at the wrong time

bleeding lips
unrequited love
love so unknown
for someone like me
I will never know
so hard to reach
it slipped through my fingers so fast

I have more to say
none of it matters anymore
anyways

You've loved me this whole time
I see the light
I can touch the clouds

The burden I carried
has fallen from my shoulders

Why haven't you blinked
Why don't you say anything

You hurt me

Wish I could say I hate you

I can't hate you even if I tried

I'm the light
I'm the dark
I'm the one you'll never understand

I've been seeing somebody
can't tell nobody

he's like
tell no soul
sleep alone
I'm always watching you
all around me
passing by
shadows
cool water
his face so cold

he's got my heart
all around me
I hear it beating
shadows
follow me

he's like
stay alone
don't answer the phone
turn the lights off
keep me close

all of the nights
I've wasted
how many times
did I give myself over
without a concern
your words
pinned into my
brain

all around me
they all have your face

you're the greatest gift
thankful
how could I ever repay you

I hope you think of me
at four in the morning

I'd like to tell you
good morning

will you turn around
smile for me

I hope
I'm inside your head somedays

so quiet
you don't notice

you're so insidious
it's true

I could never trust you

covered in red
the blood of a ghost

you love death so much
you cry yourself to sleep

full of envy
you're an immortal being

we shapeshift into so many things
why do you always turn into a liar

I want this to be over

if I let you go
will you haunt me in my dreams

you have so much love
but you can't find the right way to love me

so paranoid
and afraid

you turn into a ghost

I invite the cold inside my room
this november rain
missing you hurts

come into my world
let's stay in wonderland

my hands are falling off
I can't hear the sound
thinking about you is the worst

leaving first
you won't stay
loving you hurts

singing all the time
just opening my mind
daydreaming at night
when will I see a stage
do I always have to fight
maybe I see too much light
alone all day
just singing the day
away
finally, the night comes
again

you can put all the wind in a bag
send it my house
so it doesn't bother you anymore

you can hate me for months
love me after
come back when I've forgotten

it's hard to say
i love you so much
why is it so hard to
express what I feel

if you tell me something small
something big
I'll remember

I still have trouble falling asleep
you don't care
taking more pills
nothing works anyways

is it too late
to say
how much you mean to me

does it mean nothing now
is all my love meaningless

you can't forget me
I'll always think of you

till it hurts
one day it won't

It's the only way

looking somewhere else
I can't ever see ahead

I'm addicted to medicine
so much can harm me

there's nothing left to lose
I lost everything I found

I made a mistake
losing my mind

you were my star
you burned me off

I can't see a thing
you were my star

orbiting around me
I will never be free

so much medicine
will heal me

Can't help you

I have no heart for it

I feel each day a little loveless
The more you want from me
The less I become

I stopped hearing my heart beat

This is the summer I feared

no matter
how I close my eyes

I can't imagine
heaven

I want to imagine
myself inside that blue house

I hope it gets repainted
the blue fades away every year

I'm still waiting to live there again
won't it be mine someday

don't lie to me
not about this

tell me
will it be mine someday

I'm waiting to live again
waiting to go there
find myself again

I haven't been able to write anything
or look at any poetry
I'm not feeling it
I feel like time is going to fast
and I'm just getting dragged past these months
without even knowing what is going on
I haven't been able to rhyme
nor write one stanza
be compassionate
with others
trees are coming back alive
I know life is constantly moving
but where am I
I have no place
feel like a big waste of space
I haven't been able
to break the bottle
filled with puzzled feelings
I've let things go
secretly holding on
I haven't been able to write
in a while
time will pass by
I'll get inspiration
when I start to cry
I'll read a few poems
in the day
another blue moon
I have to choose
whether to stray away
from the earth
or grow closer
to where it most hurts

there's no theme to my pain
there's no way to explain
there's no metaphor or hyperbolic
message to translate

i'm just throwing it up
for you to see
my blood and guts
all over the floor
careful don't slip and fall

i don't tie up my sadness
with pretty bows
and my anxiety isn't cute

it's not a fictional story
it's not a test for popularity
i don't hide the meaning

a memory i can't erase
if you're reading this
please take it from me

when i wrote those words
i wasn't lying
i really felt like dying

I know I am pathetic in everyone's eyes
I know I'm wasting space and time
taking up air
polluting my brain
I know
I know
what everyone thinks
don't forgive me
please don't look at me
don't think of me
ignore me
hate me silently
I deserve it all
I've lost it all
no one respects me
I hold no importance anymore
I'm older
no wiser
I'm older
no better
I'm older
no one cares

Am I
your doll?

Do you think
you can drag me anywhere you want

drop me
wherever you like

every time
I break

you expect to see me in perfect conditions

Am I
your doll?

all eyes on me
trying to hold back the tears

I can't imagine a life without you
it hurts too much to

you're the only one left
don't leave me yet

it seems from the outside
I don't love anyone

I don't know how to

I love the memories we made

please keep breathing

please don't leave me

please keep breathing

please don't make me cry

let me hug you one last time

what will I do once you leave
I don't love you

still
still

I hope to see you

how long has it been

you're leaving me

will I be able to walk alone
without wondering if you're close

will you forget our short lived memories
can I burn off your picture and watch the ashes crumble in the wind

I spilled out lies
when I never had

I was true with you

How could I change that

You know better than to believe me

She leaves

I really am pathetic

For thinking we could talk as if nothing happened

I want to believe
I'll come around

See you again
in a different space

I love you
you don't take it seriously

why can't we say I love you anymore

do you not trust me
that's on me

I know
I come and go

I'm begging please trust me when I say
I won't hurt you

hurts me more when you don't

why can't I say I love you
felt so wrong the first time I did
felt like it went to waste

you came along
we haven't met in so long
still the same too nice you can't runaway

do you not consider me
even as a friend

beautiful stranger
fall into my arms
I beg you please
believe me

I miss you

Will I become the old me now

Now I'll go back to my old ways

I've left the ocean

To reach the mountains

Every time I leave
I begin to think if it's worth it

you want to play
in this first day of spring
flower heads
I remember this exact day
years ago
I no longer hear
your voice in my head
soft windows
slow curtains
dim stars
new moon
I no longer
feel hurt
the pain in thinking of you
walking along
this stormy path
hit by lightning twice
I can almost reach sunlight
wind keeps trying to pull me back
today I grow taller
today I'll grow fonder
stronger
I'll no longer
frown
at the thought of us
simply smile
I've cried enough tears
leaves started to
sprout on my face
it's okay to say
goodbye

my feet are killing me
we don't talk anymore

someone entertains you
you leave me all alone

ignoring me for someone else

must be nice to have someone to hug at the end of the day

no one ever makes me food anymore these days

and when she leaves
I'll be waiting for you

the door is unlocked
you're my sweet poison

must be nice to have someone who cares
I don't think I've felt loved in years

dying to have someone touch me
even if I flinch and scream

we always come apart
this distance I recognize

must be nice to have someone by your side

I have your back
Even though you judge me
Lightning fast

I don't laugh at
Your jokes
So you will look
Ridiculous

I will pay Our
Ice cream even though
You shouldn't have any

I will hug you
With my eyes
Wide open

And hate you tomorrow
Morning

We are always
Something
To
Nothing

You misunderstand me
my heart is iridescent

I want to lay in a field of flowers
Of all kinds

let the thorns
sink into my skin

I'm lost at sea
I can't find the right direction
to find the land

I never feel like I'm home
even when I'm laying on my own bed

just want to hear
of how it was
when we were younger

tell me
how I didn't mind

tell me how
it was
when we were younger

how we never cried

never looked up to the sky

It was one morning

when the light
suddenly disappeared

I begin to notice
feel my worries

that the sun isn't so high in the sky
anymore

then it came as a thought
I never would've thought
it like this

how
when we were younger
we played around
and never went to sleep so early

You mistake me

I'm not the same girl
I have a grey mind
a vortex in my head

My heart is overflowing

bleeding into the leaves;
grass

I just want to chase after
the days
when we were younger

tell me again
please remind me
what I'm good for

I want to open your body
find your emotions
don't let me speak
I want to close your mouth shut
you move so slow
I want to replace your bones

all of my memories with you
don't hug me to sleep anymore

I'm so unhappy
I wonder
did you ever make me happy

was I in love
or lonely

i like remembering the good days

knowing they're so close
and far away
all in my brain

if i sleep early tonight
maybe i'll have the one chance
to go back

cloudy storm
safe in the big buildings
we were in the city

once in town
the double rainbow
was found

or the time
thunder crackled outside
inside my ear

yeah i'll sleep
early

i'll find myself
happy

in the old
memories

I've got to check my pulse
to check if my heart still beats for you

I didn't know how to answer
to my dead name

I wish you'd call me
by your name

I always wanted to ask you
why you're awake so early

and to know
why you still message me

I still get surprised
when I see your name

I never know what to respond
only distant regards

I try not to be sad
I'll try to be happy

because it's okay now
what happened to us

..

I took the bandaid off
on my heart

it's healed

we don't get along

you're air

I'm water

we don't need each other

I can never reach you

why are you leaving me

slipping through my fingers

was anything ever real

were you happy with me

did i imagine all our love and connection

it depends

I'm either too little
or too much

never enough

to keep anyone

no one stays for long

we don't get along

you're air

I'm water

we don't need each other

I can never reach you

why are you leaving me

slipping through my fingers

was anything ever real

were you happy with me

did i imagine all our love and connection

it depends

I'm either too little
or too much

never enough

to keep anyone

no one stays for long

not everyone lives days

I had a vision

I'm bigger than my body

my soul ran across the universe

some homes have a moonless sky

I've tasted stardust

I watched a sun die on my nose

I fell into a black hole

lost can't find my way home

I dream of it

a place

where fire doesn't burn

water floats

there are more colors to the rainbow

I miss sleeping underwater

when the time comes

I'll go with gratitude

goodbye to this planet

reborn inside a different galaxy

where's your pain
where do you keep it hidden

white pages
burned down to brown

Do you feel down

Your perfect life
I'm envious
of what you have

red lights
keep us down

I'm still with you
even now

where we don't speak
it's been more than a few weeks

when it hurts me
does it hurt you

does it ever hurt you

deja todo
encima de mi

cargo todo el peso por ti

cuando quieres
cuando no
me voy a ir

deja me dormir
no tengo porque vivir así

espero ver el fin
te quiero dejar ir

te quiero
te quiero

estoy cansada
el sacrificio lo voy hacer

leave me
you know
you don't need me

I picked the moon
off the sky
she's inside my pocket

She's mine
She's mine

don't lie

I won't believe you this time

leaving
so soon
I know
you don't need me

the moon is mine
the moon is mine

She's going to leave me

and
she will always comes back to me

Can we go to nor heaven or hell
If we want to ?

If so what is this place called
Can I go now ..

happy stay
why are you crying
why are you crying
you don't love
you don't know
why are you crying
you can't hold on
hide
keep on hiding
why are you crying
you are going to die alone
you can't be with somebody
you don't love your body
why are you crying
can't hold me
you don't know
how to love me

Crying can you hear
My face is wet and I'm hurt
but I love you too

I don't understand
these days

it's a painful sun
second comes a hurtful cloud
then falls a sharp rain

after a pang of thunder
follows the sound of a siren

then the cries of a poor bird
seeking refuge

the storm is gone now

only the wastes remain

the air is left feeling delusional

it's all just a passing

but tomorrow I will see it again

this city gives me no rest

I wonder when I can leave

I dream the same moon
over and over

Lightning behind wicked clouds
I'm running the streets
pitch dark

It's raining
but I'll find myself

Everyone is asleep
I'm on the edge of feeling alive

I'm running
lights flashing above

The rain can't touch me

I know I'm close

When the night falls
I become myself

Looking for my other half

I remember

I'm running

Am I out of the light
Am I in the dark yet

Stars are falling
Into our sick sky

Dust becomes
Stardust

Flowing with
Starlight

I make fun of you

Don't you remember the good times

you're still mine

If you could
Would you. . .

You'd be there

I know

Stars are flying
Back into space

Far away

Leaving me
A plain
Sky
Without
A single star
To trace

If you despise me
go away

if you are disenchanted
look away

say I sin
call my love forbidden

love the sinner I am
I feel like a god
my veins
almost closing in

this love is all I need