my heart lies
at the bottom of a pond

my brain is
locked in a box

feel lost
sometimes forget
where i was born

and where is home

heavy heartbeats
forgot how to sleep
  
could i forget how to *breathe

wish you liked me
so I could like myself

it's hard to navigate
through this world
alone

I'm not sure
if I exist
it's hard to recognize myself

I wish you'd love me
so I could love myself

it's hard to learn something good
all I know is the bad

I'm hiding away
from the stars and the moon
I don't want to see them anymore

we never change
we never will

wish you could see me
so I could see myself

hard work for a confusing life

no reason
moments fade too soon

eyes teary
losing my hearing

all my wishes will crush into a black hole
**** me so I can **** myself

I wish I never met you

I can't forget you

the people
I cared for the most
are statutes they do not care for me

I was a good friend
a shoulder to lean on
a laugh a smile when no one offered
is it so easy to forget those who love you

the people I called family
running through my blood
disappointed others care for me more

It's november
they're living inside me
November is mine
you can't take it back

don't ask me if I remember you
when I forget you

all I ever said
was for you
for you
all for you
everything for you

never did I think
and me?
and for myself?
nothing
I have nothing now

Selling my heart
Because you don't want my love

Take me home
Give away my soul

For sale
Anyone want it

Don't really need it

I fell in love with someone
While feeling blue

And they don't want my love

I need a vacation badly

My happiness melting

My smile is falling

I look at the sky so hopeless
I thought you wanted it

Keep you to myself
Need a getaway badly

I'll get around
with an empty sound

I'm crying
for the first time

I'm accepting it
now you're gone

I'm never enough
for anyone

all these months
did they mean anything to you

how can you just leave me
so easily

off you go
I taught you everything you know

all those late night calls
or the morning ones

I never put you last
why did you forget me so fast

I know I'm no one's first choice

so I became everything you wanted
why don't you want me anymore

you're in love
and I'm crying

for the first time
feeling used

don't you have anything to say to me

I don't want to know
I won't answer the phone

I'm all alone

I wanted the best for you
but the best for you isn't with me

I want the worst now

hugging you
is like having the sun in my arms

warm and bright
never letting go

It's almost noon
where do you go after nine

hearts beat slowly
never leave me


| | |

do ever wonder
how the sky became blue
and how the night brings us sleep

----

hugging you is like having the moon in my hands
and I'm your little star

So this is the way it is
After all our mistakes

After you dragged me
With all your friends

What can I say happy birthday..
You didn't remember mine
But it's ok

And if we're to see you
Today I would give you
A hug

But I wouldn't
Go back

Because I want you to stay
In the past

Even  after hear
Your songs

I love forever & always mom
no  matter   *what

Drinking milk
white as the moon

I've stopped asking
where you go

no matter how far away
whatever time

I'll fill the blank pages
to our lost stories

no matter if you're gone
if you'll never come back

I won't stop loving

hard to accept
I still can't sleep early

where you stay
I'll always look forward to the morning

I'll treasure our moments
I'll fill the blank pages

You're intertwined
now in my heart

My words are like blankets
covering my true feelings and meaning

can I get a heart
can I have it without getting hurt

I never say what I feel
no one ever tells me how I feel

My words are injected with my silent pain and quiet cries

They're blankets covering what you'll never find

I have an empty smile
half filled heart

I feel most weak at night
when I have no one to hold

If this is my weakness
out of many
I'll find

I am most beautiful when vulnerable
my tears feel like glass
cutting away the left over loneliness

you only care about me when I'm sad
once I smile
everything is fine

so it doesn't matter
what I say

I'm going crazy
you keep forgetting
everything about me

you only love me
when I'm feeling depressed

once the clouds
fly away
the sun is shining
you'll believe my head is clear of all its poison

I might drown
I might choke
with your forgetfulness

keep on
forget me
forget all about my feelings

falling off the edge with you
I'm never happy
I must hide my frown before you come around
too good to be true

Maybe it wasn't
His laugh that I fell for

Maybe it was just His
Humor

Sometimes his looks
Didn't work

But his friendship
Was admirable

& I'll love everything
Of him
Inside out

my veins are collapsed
I lash out
when I lose
this isn't living
I don't think I like you

staring at my feet
can't get out of this heat
but it's zero degrees

I'm feeling fine
for an hour or two

I remind myself
I'm broken in two

I'm trying to get out of the city
but
there's no living without me

can't keep breathing
as you cut my lungs

all is well
I'm bruised

I can't find myself
with the sky covered in gloom

where's the moon
the sun is acting strange

closing all the windows
all the cutting wind comes in

hair ties
sweating up
she really doesn't like you
you won't give up
he brings her fruit
mangos
pineapples
and strawberries too
I sit behind
corner of his eye
wondering why
I don't fit inside his sight
can I ask for grapes
bring me cherries on wednesday
he only looks at her
He doesn't realize
I love fruit
she's older
he's crazy
the good kind
the kind I fall for
I follow his steps
I can't stand beside him
hate to be the girl
he doesn't look for
I wish he never spoke

I see your face
It's either you or the clouds moving

Soon I won't be able to see you
but for now

I see you setting high into the sky

you begin to minimize


covered with glowing clouds

I'll see you around

waiting for the answer

I will die
makes me feel so fuzzy

yes or no
tell me
my mistakes follow like shadows
in the sunshine

tell me
tell me
I want to know
even if it cuts
I can't change her

dying
makes me feel fuzzy

I know wrong
I don't do what's right

swallowing the consequences

waiting for the answer
with all my regrets

dilated eyes
kiss me with your eyes open
let's not fight again

we're no match from heaven
god doesn't love me

I had an angel
he was taken away

God doesn't love me
I know
because they told me

grieve alone
love alone
they responded that I was deserving
of all this crippling pain inside my brain

we're on different planes
living in different worlds

I kissed Gabriel's blood clean
almost reached invincibility
nearly became infinity

there's no forever
just everlasting fear

I wish I could see the moon with admiration
now all I do is spit out hatred

A child
filled with worry
insecurity
said he could spot me
anywhere in the world
looking for my glossy
lustrous
hair

I'm not taking her back
I'm not going back

The only way I can sleep
I can only walk foward

What the ****
Were you thinking

You keep looking at me
like I'm someone else

He calls me planet girl

I orbit around black holes

Thankful
a little grateful
I should be

Everyone loves using me

I never grow old

It's to cold for you to be
Inside
So come inside

It's to
Dark to be walking
So hold my hand

It's a lonely world
For us to be apart

You want to leave
let's fight
let's talk
things over

I don't want to play your games no more
I can't get any help
I'm going in circles
someone help

let's fight
talk things over
play nice
start the game
I never win

I don't want to play this game no more
can someone help

can I get any more
lonely

why don't you talk to me

are you always pretending

somebody help me

you took it
got it
and tossed it
to the trash
but was it worth
it ?
i lost i know
but what did you win!?
a broken heart
thats all
cause everything was
just a
love
game
to you
and i was
stupid to follow you in the dark

amusing
how I break myself off

tearing myself apart into
tiny pieces no one can find

why is everyone so emotional
I can't be sentimental

I feel nothing

hidden veins
you've hurt me enough
turn off
all the lights
staring out
I don't know myself
wish me well

warm fingertips
tangled hair
messy feelings
scattered on the floor
don't you know
I don't want to play this game no more

hug me tightly
move slowly
turn off
the lights
kissed your neck

sleeping silently
hear the train tracks
hear the train passing

my eyes are falling
but my mind is racing
I might be dreaming

Probably die
with you on my mind

I can't go back in time

I think you don't love me anymore

I miss our moments
that have passed away

I became numb
ever since you left me

I wished I was dead
I'm sorry


Overdosed on pain
take me home
back when you had my back

I dream of us together
I know you do too

Wish I hadn't left
leaving us dead

+ + +        + + +       + + +

I can't apologize
I never took the blame

Laying in my grave

I'll save us another time
in another life

when I was a child
all I ever wondered was
do my mom and dad love me?

does she love me
even if she treats me this way?

does he love me
even if he doesn't care for me?

if we dressed in black
share a cigarette

keeping all your secrets in the trash

I tried walking faster
you pretend you're strong

how are you still standing
don't make comments

do you get tired of eye rolls
I've done more than you

if we're opposites
why do we go the same direction

if we got into trouble
you don't have to go home alone

I'll never let you know
I love you
so stupid but I do

We'll eventually run out of words
Stop making lines
We won't rhyme
Will not be able to make a poem
Since it will only be a replica
Us poets will die
One day
Until then
We keep on writing
Till the world ends

mirror mirror
on the wall
I forgot I have it all
mirror mirror
tell me
remind me
why this
pain is here

strange feelings
skies glimmering
friends are slowly
leaving

mirror mirror
tell me why no one understands

It hurts a little
going inside the dark for a while
I can see the moon outside now

everyone sleep
eyes closed
let me fall apart

I want to be holy again
always going back to it
I want to fade slowly
holding myself back

I don't know how

feeling manic
everything is spinning

I saw my mask fall down

everyone is sleeping
stillness

it's cold now
hurts a little

cover my eyes
I don't want to see myself

then when
snowflakes fall
instead of rain
you come from the southside
stopped taking medication
too much to handle
and it's cold
to shiver
I see light rain showers
mixed in with
snowflakes
whispered me a horrid
secret
hideaway
too much to handle

I love the words of a girl

They ask me if
I see the glass half empty
or half full

I see nothing at all

he wants to rewind

whisper into a wall

she wants to rewind

count all the stars before she dies

I want to rewind

miss my old bed

can't undo all the mistakes
nothing I can change

God doesn't love me
I know
because they told me

grieve alone
love alone
they responded that I was deserving
of all this crippling pain inside my brain

they kissed my cheek
and vanished within a late dream

I had an angel
he took away

I'm alone
they said
I won't ever see their home

God doesn't love me
I saw a figure
standing at the end of my bed
imprisoned me with
a  shadow

It all makes sense now

Hey God girl
Tell me where we're going

Where are you
Me and you

Tell me when we're going
Are we falling

My fallen angel
I think you'll fade away

Don't come down
I feel your voice
Your heavenly hands graze my skin

Your wings
burn so bright

God Girl
Tell me are we going

I love it
I love it

I'll tell you

You're fading into me
I love it
Fall into me
I want it

I'll make you feel disgusting
feel emotions
make you cry
make you sad,
mad
crave it like a human

You will hate it

Only
then you're late
so fallen

No return to heaven

prince charming

will come and save me

because that's how the story goes

I was made to suffer
and for him to be the hero

I wait in my tower
full of despair
rotting away

prince charming
will find me soon
or so they tell me

but I know
prince charming is far from home
he's somewhere playing with someone's heart

I suffer and
wait for my savior

let me die in my bed
waiting for true love's kiss

prince charming
can't you come over
are you busy or did you give up

I'm tired
of this sick
twisted love story

know it's
unfair

god punished me
and made me a girl

with this heavy heart of misery
oh prince charming
please come and **** me

change the story
and end my life

save me
and become the villain

just this once

I loved the pain
don't eat it

don't hurt yourself

addicted to emotions
can't keep up

they're so good
I want some more

love it when you're crying
love it when you're laughing so loud

I'm watching you drown
nothing can save you

I can't help you
don't reach out

I'll be leaving now

you eat the pain
hurting yourself with all those mindless people

you can't help yourself

For that yesterday is the past
Tomorrow i will last

I hope to not know you for long

get out of my life

I want you gone

a week ago

things were well

now I know you exist

life is ruined

I hope you don't stay

wishing you away

I don't want you in my life

maybe it's best

I leave before more time passes

I don't want another memory of you in my head

Is it raining in Tokyo
is it sunny in Sydney

I haven't asked
where you are
in a far away country
or a closeby city

don't let me disappear
love me
touch me
I don't want to vanish

wherever you are
I'll wait

there's no forever

stop walking with your head down
the chains wrapped around you
lay you down inside a puddle

I created a place
with
forever rain

I'm your hero

clouds inside my bedroom