I only wish I asked
What does happiness taste like?

________

You're changing too quickly
You're confusing me
What color is your hair today
Next week will it be the same?
Your swimming deep pools
I'm afraid you're drowning
Forgetting how to breathe
Is there a special reason you're eyes aren't open
You can't look in mine

My family doesn't like you
Trying to hide you
Sit in the backseat next time

Cover myself
Within the walls

I'm terrified
Of what might be
If I'm found

_______

I only wish
You could see through me

Finally call an ambulance

I was young
dying down

asking around

I love the ocean
but so does everybody else

were all gonna die soon

she doesn't want me to go to outer space
afraid I'll float away

rain coming through the window
bells rang at noon

crying tears of blood

You got to like me
Because if not the sun will burn

You have to love me
If not I won't sleep

She's got pretty eyes
Such a twisted mind

Saying she's suicidal
It's so cool
Drinking pills makes me act like a fool

Please K
Take care of the girl
She's insane

Were all drinking up blood
Our lies
Never looking into someone's eyes

Now her imaginary friends
Are real

I can see them too

new year
new face
I've got no plans
I've spent all
my hope
on lost family and friends

how I'd love to swim
inside a river again

look up to the sky
only to be blinded
by the pale clouds

I'm a walking overdose
sometimes you just want a slice of skin
that's what he tells me
cutting up his wrists

how I'd love to be in my bed again
with my heavy teddy bear timothy

ask me anything
I should know

I'm clean
I'm clean
a little mean
I don't answer to anyone
I'm scared they'll see

sleepless nights
asleep
I'm dreaming wide awake
the light is coming in

I'm not who I'm supposed to be
I'm not someone you should believe in
I'm not who I want to be
I'm not someone you should trust

years of wishing death

I've seen the end

I don't fear death
death fears me

the less I know
here comes the worst

the less they know
the better

my mind grows weak

I think all I've ever wanted
was more life

he's got me dancing
he's got my head

prince of darkness
caress me to sleep

eternal warmth
in his cold arms

hug her tightly
squeeze her
desires oxygen

burn off my skin
I've lost all sense of reality

is this room
is the sun
is time
real?

hold me
tightly
I don't need to breathe

I'm living in a fantasy

perhaps I treat my beloved poems unfairly
I leave them outside in the cold
put them to bed frozen
I shut them out
when they wish to speak
and pressure them to
when they sleep
I've become selfish
and torture
poetry
I use to dance around them
keeping us warm
my bitter heart
doesn't mind
I can hear
countless poems
cursing my name
shouting in vain
drowning
in a bathtub
mixed
with lost words
and myriad mistakes

Bored
Wasting time
Just here
Thinking
What's going to happen
Next
Its almost
11 pm
Everyone is resting
But not me
Just here
Thinking
Maybe I should
Stay
But no
Its to late
Might as well move
And do something
Instead of being here
Doing nothing

puzzling it is to die
does it truly mean death

unfollow
I don't follow
I don't respond
standby
I'm someone else now

I've become
What I'm most
afraid of
Obsessive, compulsive, corrupted

all you do is bring bags of dust
come on stay
waste all my money just to see your face
we end up sleeping together again

it's a sad tune
a sad note to
loving you

were too high
calling out our names
say we love each other
till the morning
grocery shopping
in the rain
red eyes
at 3 AM

I don't need you
you don't
how's that

all you do is
bring bags of snow
and leave
see you on the front porch
while it rains
****** teardrops
in puddles
I slip in