It smells so good

Left wandering

Staring out at 1 AM

I've changed

Scared

I'm not the same

Laying in my bed of silk

Carried away

Thank you
I've been here forever
still doesn't feel real

I can't be honest
I wrote you a letter
I'll never send

I can't show you myself
for who I really am

I'm a pretty cloud
floating away

You loved me
when I was deep in
deep waters
I was drowning

I've never talked back
I let my words cut me deep inside

I've got a lot on my mind

so please call 9 1 1
if you don't hear from me

call me
9 1 1

I'm not feeling well
you're a liar

I can't be honest
with people who never change

you're the loneliest man alive
now I'm your
Ms. Lonely

he taught me the wrong ways to love

his love was always a knife my throat

lost the definition of trust

is this all your love

is this what I need

I'm waiting for someone to listen
I don't think no one is

feels empty not having anyone on your side

I live in my daydreams
where someone does

I will find the right words
not having someone who understands is torture

days
I wait for nights
to hug the moon close
I feel warmer inside moonlight

In my dream world

I would express my feelings to those close to me

My friendships wouldn't end so quickly

I wouldn't be so shy and talk to people I admire

I could climb the ladder to my roof
without being afraid

My writing isn't messy

I have green colored eyes

I'm the one who everyone loves

In my dream world
I live in the dirt with the trees and grass

I asked him
What's in your dream world

/ / /\ / /

I hope he says
Me

nunca
siempre eres nada

habla
no te quiero ver

eres nada

tal vez

un día

siempre
callados

siempre
eres nada

te necesito
no te quiero ver

no me hables

I shouldn't think about you

I do

I want you to think about me too

I saw you in my dream
Is that okay
I'll ask for your permission

I shouldn't think of you


I do

I do

I hope you do too

todas las mujeres
somos flores

cuidado
despertamos

caídas
nos levantamos

abierta
es
abierta

todos me entierran

bonita
muy encantadora

pero

las flores

se secan

y todos me dejan

Living the city
love isn't pretty
I hope the light
that blinks in the sky
is a star
but I know it's
an airplane
not to far
cold houses
dark rooms
I hide in my closet
from you
smells like pine trees
in my bed
you want to
change everything
about me

I don't like me

Living in the city
I can't breathe
I can't sleep

Waking up early
leave to have a few hours of being free

It's raining black rain
I guess we're all in pain

I wish you loved me
the way I love you

Your beautiful eyes
a green I've never seen

I'm so nervous

I can barely breathe

When you leave
I can't wait for next Sunday


Hush hush
I want to say something

Keep myself away

I wish you stayed a little longer

Keep myself down

Do you want me

I want to know what
he's thinking

Snowflakes of rain
falling to my face

An open wall
an open window
open space

Where I see the world
and the world can see
all of me
the dark side
hiding

A breeze
Can they hear me sing

Can I let them in
the lights are out

Slow down
I'm coming down

I never notice
how the clouds form
to create the perfect storm

your love is a poison
||||||||
all I know is you

Maybe it wasn't
His laugh that I fell for

Maybe it was just His
Humor

Sometimes his looks
Didn't work

But his friendship
Was admirable

& I'll love everything
Of him
Inside out

Never did I imagine myself
living so lonely

That my friends have slowly become
my plants
stray cats
the stars

and the sky

I never imagined
this life
for us

Wherever it takes us
let us hear the rain
survive the heat
and cold

I won't promise
I don't hope

I just want to grow closer
over time

Make memories
for distant days

The sound of rain
falling on
the ceiling
/ \ \

My ears are hurting
from my recent piercing

I've been ignoring someone
that I know I'll talk to in a few days

The street outside
is flooded

everyone has gone to sleep
and have nothing to dream of

I can hear the rain fall
the puddles with rain drops

There is no storm

no lightning

Just me
and the heavy clouds

Let me sleep now

in a dream full of rain

Waking up to a storm
Turn away I have to fall back asleep

Happy birthday
It's August

Wake up early
Can't fall back to sleep

This week feels strange
is the moon playing tricks with my mind

I didn't think I would make it to August
Here I am

Confused
What are my goals again?

I could fall asleep around noon
Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow

I'm the devil's daughter
She tells me don't water the flowers
she told me I burned away my father

I'm still calling out to the sky
I'm still wasting away inside

He says I'm a shadow
I follow everyone around
I'm stepped on

I ask him
What's this darkness
must demons watch over me

I dream of an angel
with beautiful wings
they're not for me

Him & I
feels like a universe
separates us
apart

glitter washed down the drain
off like my friends
I forget their names
they know I live in vain
counting my veins
waiting to rip one open

money hungry
I foolishly believed
she'd always love me
never more
counting off what I owe her

he doesn't ask for me
robotic or stoic
he doesn't ask me why I'm crying
driving off
I was feeling manic
he doesn't understand it

you don't know me
wandering
maybe you have the key
if I let you in
will you find me

you taught me
nothing lasts forever

so
young
and
hopeful

I love you
I love you
I love you

far far far far
far far away

I can't touch you
I can't touch you
I can't touch you

live inside my phone screen
live inside my computer screen
live inside
online
open a window
close it
offline

I love you
I can't touch you

long distance
ruined
mixed
confusing
feelings

I want you
I want you
I want you

do I have to accept it
accept it
accept it
accept it
do I
do I do I

I can't have you
I can't
I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't
I can

live inside my head
live in the reflection of my eyes
live outside

far far far far far
close by

I know he'll never really like me
I'm bad news

he knows it's not worth the risk
there's nothing to lose

this friendship is dying its weak
he knows nothing about me
I can't learn nothing about him

I know I'm distant and cold
he's out of tune
too far to catch

I can't move mountains
or half the sea knowing
he doesn't want to see me

this is obessesion
infatuation
all leading to nowhere

if we're still friends in five years
I hope we've grown together

my wish is to see your face soon
I won't ask you

tears won't let it out
another pill
someone else has said this
when will it fix me
I'm desperate
maybe i should talk to God
the sun hits my face
but I feel no warmth
paralyzed
can't take care of myself
I only feel numb
I worry and fear for my reality
when all the delusions fade
take another prescription
till the pile in the pantry
falls over
soon
someone said
soon I'll feel normal again
for now
I'll work against it

I can see the stars in the rain
Filled with pain
I'm slowly becoming one

You're putting me away
leaving me alone

You can't cover me up with clouds
I'll still shine in the daylight

You're turning away

I'm here to stay

I saw you die
I saw your skin melt away
into snow
on the side of the road
are you a moon dog now
I saw your breath
your life
float away into
a distant plane

I'll hold your hand
If you let go of mine

I'm not doing fine
stop messaging me why

the lucky sound in your voice
brought me down
when I woke up

Tiny sound
Don't think about it now

Haunts me
Night and mornings

White noise
I hate

not so much
now

Trying to drown out the sound

I hugged a crying cloud
I caught a drop of rain in my hand
I killed the sun
put the earth's wind inside my hair
sorry
not sorry
I wait for my mistakes to catch up
for now
I
hug crying clouds
I **** the morning sun
I catch rain drops in my hands
guide the wind into my hair
I wait
for my mistakes to paint a portrait of me
committing the worst of crimes
against myself
the only love I grew up on
was destruction
self-destruction was my way of self-love
self-harm is my way of caring for myself
with broken hopes
my mistakes painted a dreary portrait
there
a cloud hugged me crying
the sun killed me sleeping
rain caught me falling
the wind whispered love into my head
some days
I'm sorry for everything

you want to be someone else
anyone but yourself

but
everyone is fake

don't go looking for love
in red roses

beauty is ugly
you don't want to understand
what it all means

I'm so afraid
of what your mind is thinking

tú con la camisa azul

aunque te extraño no te quiero ver

estoy triste
tengo que dejarte
crecer

cierro mis ojos
no te quiero ver

duele pensar en ti

we go to the pool when it's raining
seems like nothing is changing
the thunder screamed in fear
I saw lightning in the morning's
day sky
I love a sunny day with drifting clouds aside
I feel just fine
I feel alright
please don't change
go away

I saw a white dove
mixed with black crows

I see it's going to rain
in this sunny day

I saw lightning flash
by with sun

you can't catch me
I'm deep dreaming

I won't be found

I really love you
So I'm gonna cry
Until you come back
Come back when you're ready

__________

ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵃᶠʳᵃᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ
ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵗʳᵒⁿᵍᵉˢᵗ ʷᶦⁿᵈˢ?
ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵒᵏᵃʸ?
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ˡᶦᵛᵉ?
ᵈᶦᵈ ᴵ ᵈᵒ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ʷʳᵒⁿᵍ?
ᴵ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᶦᵍʰᵗˢ & ˢᶜʳᵉᵃᵐˢ
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ᶠˡᵒᵃᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵗᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵏʸ?
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʷᶦᵐ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᶜᵉᵃⁿ ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵖᵘˡˡᵉᵈ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵇʸ ʷᵃᵛᵉˢ?
ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵘʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵃˡʳᶦᵍʰᵗ
ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ'ᵐ ʷᵒʳʳᶦᵉᵈ
ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ᵐʸ ˡᵒᵛᵉ

Never imagined
You would leave

Without a goodbye

I'm driving through the night

Talk to me
I know you wanted me to stay

What happened
to all the flowers I wanted to press

Where did you disappear

You've been distsnt,
drifting


We don't talk

I miss your messages
our afternoon conversations

If you ever come back

I'll wait

For you to come back

six years and counting
my words forever inside a screen
and it means a lot when someone reads my past
a person I used to know
I've changed, I'm not the same
even so
my heart sparkles when I see her
I'll try and meet her someday, somewhere
just to say- you did well

another day
I am reminded
you don't care about me

another day
I wonder why me
when will you disappear

another day
another day
I hope these days go away

another day
waiting for this to end

I want to go home
To my real home
The home that I have good memories
The home where I lost everything
I want to sleep in my room
Where I would wake up happy
The home where I had all my family
I know they're gone
But I want to wake up
And remember I had
Everything

the trees moved with the leafs
the air carried everything
darkness in the dark
but there is one shadow
in the light
i was scared
it was so weird
i ran
but it was still there
so so
strange
i couldn't say
nothing but
god please help me

The countdown
The numbers
The screams

No fireworks for me..

Just alone with no one
But myself
Oh how I wish it would change

Of how I could be with family
This day

Yet I'm alone again

Should i go along
With a fake smile

Or just frown all day