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320 · Aug 2019
Fuzzy
eileen Aug 2019
waiting for the answer

I will die
makes me feel so fuzzy

yes or no
tell me
my mistakes follow like shadows
in the sunshine

tell me
tell me
I want to know
even if it cuts
I can't change her

dying
makes me feel fuzzy

I know wrong
I don't do what's right

swallowing the consequences

waiting for the answer
with all my regrets
319 · Apr 2019
Pseudologia fantastica
eileen Apr 2019
I
am
a
liar

Don't lie to me

I know e  v  e  r  y   t h i n  g

Don't ask
           me anything


You'll
n e v e r
know about      
                  m e

Lying to your face
I don't feel a
d
  r
    o  
        p
of shame

Who is it from
My family of storytellers
A puppet father
Lying mother

Don't lie to me
I know you're lying

I'm so perfect
You don't ever notice

I'm

L y i n g

the words I speak
aren't to be trusted

the words I write
are filled with broken promises
319 · Jan 2016
9:44 pm
eileen Jan 2016
You can be the cause
Of your own
Destruction
And
Happiness
319 · Oct 2018
♕ Eve
eileen Oct 2018
cutting out
the thorns

white roses
in the snow

tell me it's all in my head
I've got a pretty face

Evil one
hold me tight

whisper in my ear
snow white lies

the power of darkness
luring me to sleep

endless dream
where I met
the God of this age

fallen
deceiver
hold me

the truth is hidden in the darkness
show me
the truth is always hidden in the shadows
318 · Aug 2019
times of sun
eileen Aug 2019
I like girls
and
girls like me
don't hate me
10w
318 · Dec 2018
7° out
eileen Dec 2018
You get sad
when she leaves

Forgetting
that I am here

I'm not leaving

/I stay/
318 · Feb 2022
wish me well
eileen Feb 2022
you're not my love

I wish for you too much

it's the wrong thing

real love will be present
and true

I'm always wishful and distant
with you

you're never around

I've been
dizzy in a cursed spell

I couldn't see anyone but you

sitting at the bottom of the wishing well

I was hoping you'd come by today

or tomorrow

or next week

maybe never

I'm drowning in my wishes

all for you

do you not wish me for me even a little

not even when you blow on a candle

or those pretty little flowers

do you not sleep wishful

like I do

staring at the clock

11:11

staring right back at me
316 · Dec 2018
Winter solstice
eileen Dec 2018
There's a brief moment
of love at first sight
the moon can kiss the sun

cold rushed to my head

All seemed so fine
the shortest day
messed up my head

I smiled
sun down
I smiled
Moon rise
315 · Mar 2019
One of these nights
eileen Mar 2019
Take me seriously
I know what's the feeling

I hold my brain to sleep
My soul walks in the rain

I locked my voice inside a book
My sight remains unknown

I can't be myself
I know myself well

Maybe it's not my fault
I don't know
314 · Mar 2019
Sleepless in my head
eileen Mar 2019
I'll hold your hand
If you let go of mine

I'm not doing fine
stop messaging me why

the lucky sound in your voice
brought me down
when I woke up

Tiny sound
Don't think about it now

Haunts me
Night and mornings

White noise
I hate

not so much
now

Trying to drown out the sound
313 · Jul 2017
Swimmer
eileen Jul 2017
He said
I've never met
A poet who lives
Underwater

I couldn't hear you then

As i was swimming
To the dark corner of
The pool

I was so scared

I had not came up
In so long

Afraid i won't
Be able to breathe

I've been underwater
So safe

Swimming in
My pool of
All my thoughts

I can't come up


Yet your still waiting for
Me above
Underwater poetry
313 · Mar 2019
cool wind
eileen Mar 2019
I'm in the water
all I've ever wanted
is be surrounded
free what comes free
nothing you see
nothing you feel
you must pay
I'm still in debt
let me kiss the sun to sleep
the water
space
what's higher than the moon
follow behind
I'm falling ahead
I'm in the air
I'm in the wind
all I've ever wanted
I can't have
to be closed off
listen close your eyes
slowly die
breathe out
I am everywhere
313 · Oct 2017
evocative
eileen Oct 2017
now it's all switched around

it was meant for you all along

I said I wasn't going to write
but now I'm sad
and lost

the silk thread we have tied
on our hands
is on tight
pulling us around

we haven't let go
I've had enough

I've never heard silence this loud
it makes me want to crawl
into a hole and hide

I want to forget

I also want to forgive

don't know which you deserve best
312 · Aug 2019
shiny
eileen Aug 2019
feels like I'm loving you forever

Death
so small

all this love
so heavy

I can't die
without it

I won't die
now that I have it

feels like I'll love you forever
312 · Oct 2018
my love is unreachable
eileen Oct 2018
ʀᴇᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ\

keep asking me if I have a heart
convincing myself I don't have one

It's okay to
say you don't feel so much

I feel so loved for what I'm not
hated for the things I do and say

love is fading
I no longer feel it

can I be trusted
don't commit to anything

everyone leaves
just like me

apathetic
a voice
cries inside

love is fading

people only change in different lifetimes

no longer feeling it

call me
I won't answer

my phone
ring ring rings

it's all a utopian dream

you can't love a cloud
it disappears into the crowd

//ʀᴇᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ
312 · Jul 2015
dark
eileen Jul 2015
Do you ever want to **** someone
Do you ever want to drown
Fear is always hanging around
And you are scared to go out
You want to have a friend
And have fun on the weekends
You feel alone in this big world
You say you're living dead
But you're waiting to be saved
311 · Sep 2023
laundry
eileen Sep 2023
we wear the feelings
then take them off

now you're gone
gone

fading
fading
letting go
so you'll be forgettable

game over
you destroyed me

now you're leaving

wearing off
the feeling is gone

not again
it's happening

I have to pretend
it's okay
311 · Dec 2018
tainted wings
eileen Dec 2018
there is no perfect family
but I still want one
311 · Apr 2016
Peek
eileen Apr 2016
Frown because no one is around
Cry because no one can hear your
Sobs
Scream as loud so the birds can hear

But remember take a peek
See if anyone heard
If someone did
Run
310 · May 2019
Say you hate me
eileen May 2019
Love
And
Hate
I don't know
I wish I knew
10w

// why do my poems only trend after midnight ? Hm
310 · Nov 2017
eileen Nov 2017
Use to love your smile
The songs you sang

Calling it what it was
Calling it lost love
We never found it again

Everywhere I go
I seem numb
To the head

I can't feel the cold air
And I wonder if the stars are real

The cut on my finger didn't hurt
I saw no blood

I don't want the stress
I can't see no end

Dripping tears
Filled with fear
309 · Dec 2018
Before Our Spring
eileen Dec 2018
I'll reach the end for you
your voice holds me together
Happy December
2018
309 · Oct 2018
Black coffee
eileen Oct 2018
I just want someone to hold me
hold me tightly
10w
308 · Jul 2015
Smell & flower
eileen Jul 2015
She had her perfumes
She loved them too
I always asked
But never did she give
She never let them go
Her memories
In a bottle
It was the only the thing she had
She treasured them
She would remember
The stories never ended
Instead of buying
She's selling
Smells them
And reminds her of
*Flowers
308 · Dec 2017
pressure
eileen Dec 2017
apply pressure
feel pain one more time

before it rains
maybe we should
let in the sun

watch around your neck
you look so lovely

hit the walls
till I break

running
till I fall

apply pressure
hurting makes me feel awake
308 · Sep 2018
Thick and thin
eileen Sep 2018
Never imagined
You would leave

Without a goodbye

I'm driving through the night

Talk to me
I know you wanted me to stay

What happened
to all the flowers I wanted to press

Where did you disappear

You've been distsnt,
drifting


We don't talk

I miss your messages
our afternoon conversations

If you ever come back

I'll wait

For you to come back
308 · Nov 2018
i i i i i
eileen Nov 2018
you should have known me
I've always been so lonely

when I don't answer the phone
so lonely

when I take too many showers in a day
crying tears mixed with water falling on my head

what should have I done

I've told you all the things I've done

nothing ever changed


so I became so lonely
lonely

I'll never be someone else

so lonely
so lonely


you should've known
308 · Nov 2017
the monster
eileen Nov 2017
creeping behind your brain

do you see me at night
behind the memories and dreams

you only ever see me
in a full moon

I only ever cry
when it's raining
scream when it's thundering

climb a tree
when there's lightning
outside

I've just been
tiptoeing
around you
my whole life
to not disturb you

all my life
making sure
you don't know I'm alive
secretly creeping behind
307 · Mar 2019
lovely lonely birds
eileen Mar 2019
love I'm gonna **** you
I bet you like that
10w / reversible
305 · Sep 2018
Carmen
eileen Sep 2018
Carmen
She's never felt loving

I try and hold her hand
from far away

Her gaze
looks through the high walls
I've been caught
she can see everything

She's a flash of lightning
the sound of a sudden storm

Keeps a straight face
at a distance

Blue car
Blue nails
Blue heart

I try to show her the colors
I try and teach her red

She's living in shades of blue
I can't see

It's all a dream
from
looking out a window
blowing a candle
a smile
a kiss
sleep
eyes
closed
whenever she's by herself
305 · Dec 2017
iminlove
eileen Dec 2017
When you got a credit card
you don't know what to buy

With all the money inside
you're confused
and scared to waste it all

But I'm trying
I'm trying

Take it all
or leave it

I'm spending time
looking at things
I'll never buy

It's a complicated life
305 · Dec 2018
drafting XVIII
eileen Dec 2018
If my hands are cold
do I have a heart of gold

lonely
I believe
I've turned into a glowing star
people love me from afar
304 · Dec 2018
I cant touch you
eileen Dec 2018
loving you less
loving you a little less
every day

I made a mess

you test my patience

♥ love is blind
♥I♥m♥ ♥s♥o♥ ♥b♥l♥i♥n♥d

give me back the moon
you owe me a planet or two

don't you ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿᵍ mess with me
you're testing my patience

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴇ
ɪ'ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ

ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ

You owe
me
my life

there are no feelings
in this relationship
besides
♥h♥a♥t♥r♥e♥d

don't let it happen

****** hands
running out of air
you cant see
you cant hear
♥ I'll become your worst nightmare ♥
eileen Dec 2018
I'm sorry for the plant that died
in my hands

I'm sorry your
plants are dying

I'm a bad luck charm
a silent surprise

I bring the worst out of people
(oftentimes myself)


//  haiku -

losing I'm dehydrated  
haven't you noticed the sun
I can make it leave
303 · Jul 2019
sprinkles
eileen Jul 2019
touch it swallow it
a little hate won't hurt you
like heaven and hell
haiku
303 · Jan 2016
6:43 aM
eileen Jan 2016
We all have
Our depressing
Poems

That makes us
Feel awesome
301 · Sep 2023
an old friend
eileen Sep 2023
six years and counting
my words forever inside a screen
and it means a lot when someone reads my past
a person I used to know
I've changed, I'm not the same
even so
my heart sparkles when I see her
I'll try and meet her someday, somewhere
just to say- you did well
301 · Jun 2019
Her &
eileen Jun 2019
.................................................................­................................................
................­.................................................................­..................
..............................................­...................................

ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ Fᴇᴇʟ Sᴏʀʀʏ

                                                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
                                                                ­ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

                        ­ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ ᴀSᴋɪɴɢ Fᴏʀ ᴘɪᴛʏ
ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ Fᴇᴇʟ Sᴏʀʀʏ


      ////////////////////////////////

ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀSᴇʟF ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ  ɴᴏᴡ


  -----------------------------------

----------­-------------------------------------------------

       ɪ'ᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ Sᴏʀʀʏ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

ʜᴀᴛᴇ ɪS ᴀ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪFᴜʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢ

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'S ᴀʟʟ I Fᴇᴇʟ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ Sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ Fᴀᴄᴇ

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||­|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
301 · Oct 2018
Aqua
eileen Oct 2018
Cool eyes
Cold like ice
It's cliché
He spoke in a way
that made him a little older
a little wiser
I still remember the beginning
the day we lost him
I cried
and I couldn't hear anyone around me
The moon turned blue
Aqua
I won't be able to see him
I still forget
I try and call his number

I send him letters
wish him goodnight

I see him in the warm light
of the mornings

And in the pale moonlight
reflecting

I remember the beginning
now I'm living in his dream
300 · Apr 2019
19° dreams
eileen Apr 2019
I'm scared
I'm afraid
Petrified
Terrified
Of everything and everyone
Mostly fear towards
myself

Hiding underneath my softest blanket
turning off all the sounds of the world
covering up lights

Unprepared
I can't live inside my body
300 · Aug 2019
let me know
eileen Aug 2019
ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ
ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ

ᵢ'm ᵣᵢght hₑᵣₑ
clₒsₑ yₒᵤᵣ ₑyₑs
shᵤt yₒᵤᵣ mₒᵤth

ᴵ ʰᵃᵗᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵐiⁿᵉ

ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ
ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ
ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ
ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ
ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ
ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ
ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ
299 · Nov 2018
slow dancing under the snow
eileen Nov 2018
you keeping looking at me
like I'm someone else

you're going blind
let go of my hand

I dream
impressive dreams on your couch

slept a 5 am
didn't hear you coming in

feels like I'm the chosen one
I hear the earth cry
the trees are falling asleep

am I the only thing on fire
in this freezing winter
299 · Dec 2015
Sadly
eileen Dec 2015
What you want is
Someone

What you need is
Love

To bad these days
It's so hard to trust
299 · Oct 2019
winter whispers
eileen Oct 2019
I let the wind sweep my unspoken words away

I hear the children laugh and play
I can't remember a day I was like them

I let the clouds hang heavy above me
rain somewhere my regrets can't touch me

I kept them close
we fell backwards
the closer I believed
further away we pushed ourselves

I taste the lost sleep on my lips
I carry my youth in a coin bag

the winter hides the pain
we fall with the autumn leaves
let the wind carry my being
298 · Nov 2019
bad sounds
eileen Nov 2019
put on a show
everyone is watching now
I feel their stares tickle down my legs

smile in vain
looking at him
quick to respond
I've never felt this fond but I'm over the moon now

all these bad sounds
I hear your stare the loudest
298 · Sep 2019
offline
eileen Sep 2019
all my friends are online
I stay outside

all these empty rooms
generation of fools

we're to busy looking ahead
let's look back
back
back

there's not a better time

the time we didn't exist
earth slept peacefully

the sun dies down
stars come out to play
let my tears flood the bedroom
a field of flowers talking for hours

I've not met a darkness
darker than my own

I won't change for me
I won't change for you
297 · Jan 2019
even so
eileen Jan 2019
tell me if I hear a sound
I can't hear much
then
the inside of my chest

tell me if
I can hear a word you say
no no
I don't want to

can I hear a sound
no
I can't hear anything around
maybe it's a curse

wish I could let myself go
even so
it still hurts
297 · Aug 2016
Reminding song
eileen Aug 2016
Looks like our days
Are over
297 · Mar 2019
cynical
eileen Mar 2019
If it's about you
I don't care
sorry

all I want is
it to be about me

I want to talk about me
but I hate your response to everything I say

I want the attention on me
so if I die
will you love me

set myself on fire
**** a bird
I haven't matured

consideration
call out my real name

if no one is looking at me
I feel so gone
297 · Nov 2019
the last crown
eileen Nov 2019
out and about
sometimes the people we love the most
hurt us until we're left broken

off and high
feelings blue
I look for places that accept my head
I'm in between two cultures
I can't speak with two tongues

we all have the same colored blood
we all breathe through our lungs
someone sits upon a throne thinking they deserve it more than me

someday
I will find the courage to say hello
if not in a dream first
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