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339 · Oct 2019
fabricator
eileen Oct 2019
yes I am a liar
I'm a lot of things

coming clean
isn't me

I keep my secrets stuffed inside my pockets
can't catch me red-handed

you said you love me
that's nothing

would you lie for me
would you ever hate me

I trust everyone
so they can trust me

don't look behind my mask
I always come back
tomie's inside

my poems are rotten
I'm the poisoned fruit

this is my getaway
339 · Feb 2022
wish me well
eileen Feb 2022
you're not my love

I wish for you too much

it's the wrong thing

real love will be present
and true

I'm always wishful and distant
with you

you're never around

I've been
dizzy in a cursed spell

I couldn't see anyone but you

sitting at the bottom of the wishing well

I was hoping you'd come by today

or tomorrow

or next week

maybe never

I'm drowning in my wishes

all for you

do you not wish me for me even a little

not even when you blow on a candle

or those pretty little flowers

do you not sleep wishful

like I do

staring at the clock

11:11

staring right back at me
338 · Sep 2015
Skys
eileen Sep 2015
today the sky was
purple and pink
and in the bottom it was burning
and on the top
it was a blue ocean
everyday it changes
one day there's clouds
or sometimes you can see the stars
and i wish i could live being
in the moon
so i could see the earth from above
but really im down on earth
but i see the sky
and it changes every night
338 · Nov 2018
burning ice
eileen Nov 2018
I feel so numb in this cold
showering in ice
10W
338 · Jan 2018
Service & Sacrifice
eileen Jan 2018
who resides
who's inside
who's within this body of mine

service & sacrifice
wasn't worth my life

lost in my mind
I can't see the outside
it's a dim light

frozen hands

I've lost myself

there's no way back

the thin light
between cracks
falls short

ғʀᴏᴢᴇɴ ʜᴀɴᴅs
-----------------------------------------------------------­---------------------

forget it
forget me
forget it
what's reality

Am I alive
holding in a breath
I don't need to breathe in
toxic contamination

forget me
forget it

ғʀᴏᴢᴇɴ ʜᴀɴᴅs
-----------------------------------------------------------­---------------------

I saw myself
go to sleep

walking out the door
I stood by the window

I'm living in the thousands of memories, past time
I forgot present time

-----------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------

time is just a concept
the clock ticking can easily be broken
___________________
­
Now that I lost myself completely
an empty body
nameless

misremembered

who I was

-------------------

my final stop
---

Truly no one
Thank You. Happy 2018.
338 · Sep 2023
laundry
eileen Sep 2023
we wear the feelings
then take them off

now you're gone
gone

fading
fading
letting go
so you'll be forgettable

game over
you destroyed me

now you're leaving

wearing off
the feeling is gone

not again
it's happening

I have to pretend
it's okay
338 · Jun 2018
closed until further notice
eileen Jun 2018
My heart is an open window
Breeze coming in
Sunlight shines
moonlight glows

I have been thinking of you

Now that you're leaving
I'm not prepared to be sad

My heart
is open
for you to stay

I'll close it soon
Won't you come inside

I've loved you so much

--
It's all gone to waste

I don't want your empty love
Please go away
337 · Dec 2017
pressure
eileen Dec 2017
apply pressure
feel pain one more time

before it rains
maybe we should
let in the sun

watch around your neck
you look so lovely

hit the walls
till I break

running
till I fall

apply pressure
hurting makes me feel awake
eileen Sep 2019
She's a liar
a fine liar
I believe her

shaking my head
she's just like the rest

followed her footsteps
into it

angels don't help me

there she goes
lying her way through it
she's so gone
I can't save her
so I drown

down
into
this
sea of bitterness

we're so lost
feels all wrong

I learned from the worst

nothing matters

nothing ever matters
with her
336 · Nov 2017
eileen Nov 2017
Use to love your smile
The songs you sang

Calling it what it was
Calling it lost love
We never found it again

Everywhere I go
I seem numb
To the head

I can't feel the cold air
And I wonder if the stars are real

The cut on my finger didn't hurt
I saw no blood

I don't want the stress
I can't see no end

Dripping tears
Filled with fear
336 · Jul 2018
Visions
eileen Jul 2018
If I **** myself

I'll miss myself

There is love
Somewhere deep in my heart

I want to wake up next year
I can't feel

Is it too late for love
Putting flowers in my own grave
335 · Jun 2018
I still love you
eileen Jun 2018
Wish I was your stars
wish I was the moon

No not today
I can't be
not for a second

Can't give myself fully to you
I'm a half moon

I want to give myself to you
Don't take it personal
I'm a mess

I wish I was complete

Love the sun
Love the clouds

You can't love me
I'm a half moon

To the ocean
To the skies

I'm a half moon
I could never give myself fully to you
335 · Dec 2018
7° out
eileen Dec 2018
You get sad
when she leaves

Forgetting
that I am here

I'm not leaving

/I stay/
334 · Aug 2019
times of sun
eileen Aug 2019
I like girls
and
girls like me
don't hate me
10w
eileen Jul 2019
one last sacrifice
you will be free
fly far away
333 · Oct 2018
♕ Eve
eileen Oct 2018
cutting out
the thorns

white roses
in the snow

tell me it's all in my head
I've got a pretty face

Evil one
hold me tight

whisper in my ear
snow white lies

the power of darkness
luring me to sleep

endless dream
where I met
the God of this age

fallen
deceiver
hold me

the truth is hidden in the darkness
show me
the truth is always hidden in the shadows
332 · Oct 2018
Black coffee
eileen Oct 2018
I just want someone to hold me
hold me tightly
10w
332 · Oct 2017
evocative
eileen Oct 2017
now it's all switched around

it was meant for you all along

I said I wasn't going to write
but now I'm sad
and lost

the silk thread we have tied
on our hands
is on tight
pulling us around

we haven't let go
I've had enough

I've never heard silence this loud
it makes me want to crawl
into a hole and hide

I want to forget

I also want to forgive

don't know which you deserve best
332 · May 2019
Say you hate me
eileen May 2019
Love
And
Hate
I don't know
I wish I knew
10w

// why do my poems only trend after midnight ? Hm
331 · Mar 2018
twinkle
eileen Mar 2018
it's been too long
staying here
don't want to go insane
everyone wants my eyes
my mouth
leave me alone
sometimes
the sun is flying around
moons are tired
how many more steps
you're too serious
I want a cloud to keep
sleep away
I want all the flowers
on earth
in my house
everyone is making choke
I can't breathe
anymore
pulling at my head
falling so hard
looks like the sky
is closer
skin burning
I see starlight
331 · Apr 2019
break the rules
eileen Apr 2019
you bore me
now I am dead
331 · Nov 2018
i i i i i
eileen Nov 2018
you should have known me
I've always been so lonely

when I don't answer the phone
so lonely

when I take too many showers in a day
crying tears mixed with water falling on my head

what should have I done

I've told you all the things I've done

nothing ever changed


so I became so lonely
lonely

I'll never be someone else

so lonely
so lonely


you should've known
329 · Mar 2019
lovely lonely birds
eileen Mar 2019
love I'm gonna **** you
I bet you like that
10w / reversible
328 · Aug 2015
magnolia
eileen Aug 2015
singing all the time
just opening my mind
daydreaming at night
when will I see a stage
do I always have to fight
maybe I see too much light
alone all day
just singing the day
away
finally, the night comes
again
328 · Jan 2016
9:44 pm
eileen Jan 2016
You can be the cause
Of your own
Destruction
And
Happiness
328 · Mar 2019
One of these nights
eileen Mar 2019
Take me seriously
I know what's the feeling

I hold my brain to sleep
My soul walks in the rain

I locked my voice inside a book
My sight remains unknown

I can't be myself
I know myself well

Maybe it's not my fault
I don't know
327 · Jul 2019
sprinkles
eileen Jul 2019
touch it swallow it
a little hate won't hurt you
like heaven and hell
haiku
327 · Dec 2018
Winter solstice
eileen Dec 2018
There's a brief moment
of love at first sight
the moon can kiss the sun

cold rushed to my head

All seemed so fine
the shortest day
messed up my head

I smiled
sun down
I smiled
Moon rise
326 · Dec 2018
drafting XVIII
eileen Dec 2018
If my hands are cold
do I have a heart of gold

lonely
I believe
I've turned into a glowing star
people love me from afar
325 · Aug 2019
Fuzzy
eileen Aug 2019
waiting for the answer

I will die
makes me feel so fuzzy

yes or no
tell me
my mistakes follow like shadows
in the sunshine

tell me
tell me
I want to know
even if it cuts
I can't change her

dying
makes me feel fuzzy

I know wrong
I don't do what's right

swallowing the consequences

waiting for the answer
with all my regrets
324 · Oct 2018
my love is unreachable
eileen Oct 2018
ʀᴇᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ\

keep asking me if I have a heart
convincing myself I don't have one

It's okay to
say you don't feel so much

I feel so loved for what I'm not
hated for the things I do and say

love is fading
I no longer feel it

can I be trusted
don't commit to anything

everyone leaves
just like me

apathetic
a voice
cries inside

love is fading

people only change in different lifetimes

no longer feeling it

call me
I won't answer

my phone
ring ring rings

it's all a utopian dream

you can't love a cloud
it disappears into the crowd

//ʀᴇᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ
324 · Aug 2019
shiny
eileen Aug 2019
feels like I'm loving you forever

Death
so small

all this love
so heavy

I can't die
without it

I won't die
now that I have it

feels like I'll love you forever
323 · Feb 2018
Ohwell
eileen Feb 2018
I should have a good day tomorrow
I say as I fall asleep
I should be productive
I think as I lay in bed in the morning

Nothing really gets to me
I'm also dissatisfied
Nothing is interesting
I crave everyone's attention

I say things that I'll never do
I try and be someone better
It just never works out
323 · Sep 2018
Carmen
eileen Sep 2018
Carmen
She's never felt loving

I try and hold her hand
from far away

Her gaze
looks through the high walls
I've been caught
she can see everything

She's a flash of lightning
the sound of a sudden storm

Keeps a straight face
at a distance

Blue car
Blue nails
Blue heart

I try to show her the colors
I try and teach her red

She's living in shades of blue
I can't see

It's all a dream
from
looking out a window
blowing a candle
a smile
a kiss
sleep
eyes
closed
whenever she's by herself
322 · Dec 2017
iminlove
eileen Dec 2017
When you got a credit card
you don't know what to buy

With all the money inside
you're confused
and scared to waste it all

But I'm trying
I'm trying

Take it all
or leave it

I'm spending time
looking at things
I'll never buy

It's a complicated life
322 · Dec 2018
tainted wings
eileen Dec 2018
there is no perfect family
but I still want one
322 · Sep 2018
Afterlife
eileen Sep 2018
In my arms
I hold the sun

The one and only
you look up to in the mornings

I've disappeared
leaving you in a shadow

I hear it in my sleep
the distant drips and drops

I dream of an understanding

A universal language
between the stars and I

I hear it in my daydreams
321 · Mar 2019
cool wind
eileen Mar 2019
I'm in the water
all I've ever wanted
is be surrounded
free what comes free
nothing you see
nothing you feel
you must pay
I'm still in debt
let me kiss the sun to sleep
the water
space
what's higher than the moon
follow behind
I'm falling ahead
I'm in the air
I'm in the wind
all I've ever wanted
I can't have
to be closed off
listen close your eyes
slowly die
breathe out
I am everywhere
319 · Jul 2017
Swimmer
eileen Jul 2017
He said
I've never met
A poet who lives
Underwater

I couldn't hear you then

As i was swimming
To the dark corner of
The pool

I was so scared

I had not came up
In so long

Afraid i won't
Be able to breathe

I've been underwater
So safe

Swimming in
My pool of
All my thoughts

I can't come up


Yet your still waiting for
Me above
Underwater poetry
318 · Jul 2015
dark
eileen Jul 2015
Do you ever want to **** someone
Do you ever want to drown
Fear is always hanging around
And you are scared to go out
You want to have a friend
And have fun on the weekends
You feel alone in this big world
You say you're living dead
But you're waiting to be saved
316 · Nov 2019
the last crown
eileen Nov 2019
out and about
sometimes the people we love the most
hurt us until we're left broken

off and high
feelings blue
I look for places that accept my head
I'm in between two cultures
I can't speak with two tongues

we all have the same colored blood
we all breathe through our lungs
someone sits upon a throne thinking they deserve it more than me

someday
I will find the courage to say hello
if not in a dream first
316 · Nov 2019
bad sounds
eileen Nov 2019
put on a show
everyone is watching now
I feel their stares tickle down my legs

smile in vain
looking at him
quick to respond
I've never felt this fond but I'm over the moon now

all these bad sounds
I hear your stare the loudest
316 · Nov 2017
the monster
eileen Nov 2017
creeping behind your brain

do you see me at night
behind the memories and dreams

you only ever see me
in a full moon

I only ever cry
when it's raining
scream when it's thundering

climb a tree
when there's lightning
outside

I've just been
tiptoeing
around you
my whole life
to not disturb you

all my life
making sure
you don't know I'm alive
secretly creeping behind
316 · Oct 2018
Aqua
eileen Oct 2018
Cool eyes
Cold like ice
It's cliché
He spoke in a way
that made him a little older
a little wiser
I still remember the beginning
the day we lost him
I cried
and I couldn't hear anyone around me
The moon turned blue
Aqua
I won't be able to see him
I still forget
I try and call his number

I send him letters
wish him goodnight

I see him in the warm light
of the mornings

And in the pale moonlight
reflecting

I remember the beginning
now I'm living in his dream
316 · Nov 2018
Ela
eileen Nov 2018
Ela
I'm sorry I didn't say thank you

Those weren't my intentions

I almost killed somebody

Don't you mind

I'm having a heart attack

8 AM

I've arrived

Heaven's gates
are closed
my soul is trapped

Eternal flames
cover my body
I'll burn alive

I'm gonna miss somebody

No one minds
315 · Jun 2019
Her &
eileen Jun 2019
.................................................................­................................................
................­.................................................................­..................
..............................................­...................................

ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ Fᴇᴇʟ Sᴏʀʀʏ

                                                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
                                                                ­ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

                        ­ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ ᴀSᴋɪɴɢ Fᴏʀ ᴘɪᴛʏ
ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ Fᴇᴇʟ Sᴏʀʀʏ


      ////////////////////////////////

ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀSᴇʟF ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ  ɴᴏᴡ


  -----------------------------------

----------­-------------------------------------------------

       ɪ'ᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ Sᴏʀʀʏ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

ʜᴀᴛᴇ ɪS ᴀ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪFᴜʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢ

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'S ᴀʟʟ I Fᴇᴇʟ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ Sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ Fᴀᴄᴇ

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||­|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
315 · Dec 2018
Before Our Spring
eileen Dec 2018
I'll reach the end for you
your voice holds me together
Happy December
2018
315 · Apr 2016
Peek
eileen Apr 2016
Frown because no one is around
Cry because no one can hear your
Sobs
Scream as loud so the birds can hear

But remember take a peek
See if anyone heard
If someone did
Run
eileen Dec 2018
I'm sorry for the plant that died
in my hands

I'm sorry your
plants are dying

I'm a bad luck charm
a silent surprise

I bring the worst out of people
(oftentimes myself)


//  haiku -

losing I'm dehydrated  
haven't you noticed the sun
I can make it leave
313 · Nov 2018
slow dancing under the snow
eileen Nov 2018
you keeping looking at me
like I'm someone else

you're going blind
let go of my hand

I dream
impressive dreams on your couch

slept a 5 am
didn't hear you coming in

feels like I'm the chosen one
I hear the earth cry
the trees are falling asleep

am I the only thing on fire
in this freezing winter
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