eileen: Poems

328 · Nov 2018

burning ice

eileen Nov 2018

burning ice

I feel so numb in this cold
showering in ice

10W

328 · Oct 2018

♕ Eve

eileen Oct 2018

♕ Eve

cutting out
the thorns

white roses
in the snow

tell me it's all in my head
I've got a pretty face

Evil one
hold me tight

whisper in my ear
snow white lies

the power of darkness
luring me to sleep

endless dream
where I met
the God of this age

fallen
deceiver
hold me

the truth is hidden in the darkness
show me

the truth is always hidden in the shadows

327 · Nov 2017

♦

eileen Nov 2017

♦

Use to love your smile
The songs you sang

Calling it what it was
Calling it lost love
We never found it again

Everywhere I go
I seem numb
To the head

I can't feel the cold air
And I wonder if the stars are real

The cut on my finger didn't hurt
I saw no blood

I don't want the stress
I can't see no end

Dripping tears
Filled with fear

327 · Apr 2019

break the rules

eileen Apr 2019

break the rules

you bore me
now I am dead

327 · Dec 2017

pressure

eileen Dec 2017

pressure

apply pressure
feel pain one more time

before it rains
maybe we should
let in the sun

watch around your neck
you look so lovely

hit the walls
till I break

running
till I fall

apply pressure
hurting makes me feel awake

327 · Apr 2016

Appearence

eileen Apr 2016

Appearence

Should i go along
With a fake smile

Or just frown all day

325 · Dec 2018

Winter solstice

eileen Dec 2018

Winter solstice

There's a brief moment
of love at first sight
the moon can kiss the sun

cold rushed to my head

All seemed so fine
the shortest day
messed up my head

I smiled
sun down
I smiled
Moon rise

324 · Aug 2015

magnolia

eileen Aug 2015

magnolia

singing all the time
just opening my mind
daydreaming at night
when will I see a stage
do I always have to fight
maybe I see too much light
alone all day
just singing the day
away
finally, the night comes
again

324 · Nov 2019

eres lo azul

eileen Nov 2019

eres lo azul

tú con la camisa azul

aunque te extraño no te quiero ver

estoy triste
tengo que dejarte
crecer

cierro mis ojos
no te quiero ver

duele pensar en ti

#spanish

323 · Sep 2023

laundry

eileen Sep 2023

laundry

we wear the feelings
then take them off

now you're gone
gone

fading
fading
letting go
so you'll be forgettable

game over
you destroyed me

now you're leaving

wearing off
the feeling is gone

not again
it's happening

I have to pretend
it's okay

323 · Mar 2019

lovely lonely birds

eileen Mar 2019

lovely lonely birds

love I'm gonna **** you
I bet you like that

10w / reversible

322 · Aug 2019

Fuzzy

eileen Aug 2019

Fuzzy

waiting for the answer

I will die
makes me feel so fuzzy

yes or no
tell me
my mistakes follow like shadows
in the sunshine

tell me
tell me
I want to know
even if it cuts
I can't change her

dying
makes me feel fuzzy

I know wrong
I don't do what's right

swallowing the consequences

waiting for the answer
with all my regrets

321 · Oct 2018

my love is unreachable

eileen Oct 2018

my love is unreachable

ʀᴇᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ\

keep asking me if I have a heart
convincing myself I don't have one

It's okay to
say you don't feel so much

I feel so loved for what I'm not
hated for the things I do and say

love is fading
I no longer feel it

can I be trusted
don't commit to anything

everyone leaves
just like me

apathetic
a voice
cries inside

love is fading

people only change in different lifetimes

no longer feeling it

call me
I won't answer

my phone
ring ring rings

it's all a utopian dream

you can't love a cloud
it disappears into the crowd

//ʀᴇᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴍ

320 · Oct 2017

evocative

eileen Oct 2017

evocative

now it's all switched around

it was meant for you all along

I said I wasn't going to write
but now I'm sad
and lost

the silk thread we have tied
on our hands
is on tight
pulling us around

we haven't let go
I've had enough

I've never heard silence this loud
it makes me want to crawl
into a hole and hide

I want to forget

I also want to forgive

don't know which you deserve best

320 · Sep 2023

an old friend

eileen Sep 2023

an old friend

six years and counting
my words forever inside a screen
and it means a lot when someone reads my past
a person I used to know
I've changed, I'm not the same
even so
my heart sparkles when I see her
I'll try and meet her someday, somewhere
just to say- you did well

320 · Dec 2018

drafting XVIII

eileen Dec 2018

drafting XVIII

If my hands are cold
do I have a heart of gold

lonely
I believe
I've turned into a glowing star
people love me from afar

319 · Jan 2016

9:44 pm

eileen Jan 2016

9:44 pm

You can be the cause
Of your own
Destruction
And
Happiness

318 · Aug 2019

times of sun

eileen Aug 2019

times of sun

I like girls
and
girls like me
don't hate me

10w

317 · Oct 2018

Black coffee

eileen Oct 2018

Black coffee

I just want someone to hold me
hold me tightly

10w

317 · Jul 2019

sprinkles

eileen Jul 2019

sprinkles

touch it swallow it
a little hate won't hurt you
like heaven and hell

haiku

317 · Oct 2019

the painting

eileen Oct 2019

the painting

I hugged a crying cloud
I caught a drop of rain in my hand
I killed the sun
put the earth's wind inside my hair
sorry
not sorry
I wait for my mistakes to catch up
for now
I
hug crying clouds
I **** the morning sun
I catch rain drops in my hands
guide the wind into my hair
I wait
for my mistakes to paint a portrait of me
committing the worst of crimes
against myself
the only love I grew up on
was destruction
self-destruction was my way of self-love
self-harm is my way of caring for myself
with broken hopes
my mistakes painted a dreary portrait
there
a cloud hugged me crying
the sun killed me sleeping
rain caught me falling
the wind whispered love into my head
some days
I'm sorry for everything

316 · Sep 2018

Thick and thin

eileen Sep 2018

Thick and thin

Never imagined
You would leave

Without a goodbye

I'm driving through the night

Talk to me
I know you wanted me to stay

What happened
to all the flowers I wanted to press

Where did you disappear

You've been distsnt,
drifting

We don't talk

I miss your messages
our afternoon conversations

If you ever come back

I'll wait

For you to come back

316 · Dec 2018

tainted wings

eileen Dec 2018

tainted wings

there is no perfect family
but I still want one

315 · Aug 2019

shiny

eileen Aug 2019

shiny

feels like I'm loving you forever

Death
so small

all this love
so heavy

I can't die
without it

I won't die
now that I have it

feels like I'll love you forever

315 · Jul 2019

the lock doesn't exist - there's no key

eileen Jul 2019

the lock doesn't exist - there's no key

one last sacrifice
you will be free
fly far away

315 · Mar 2019

One of these nights

eileen Mar 2019

One of these nights

Take me seriously
I know what's the feeling

I hold my brain to sleep
My soul walks in the rain

I locked my voice inside a book
My sight remains unknown

I can't be myself
I know myself well

Maybe it's not my fault
I don't know

315 · Dec 2017

iminlove

eileen Dec 2017

iminlove

When you got a credit card
you don't know what to buy

With all the money inside
you're confused
and scared to waste it all

But I'm trying
I'm trying

Take it all
or leave it

I'm spending time
looking at things
I'll never buy

It's a complicated life

315 · Nov 2018

i i i i i

eileen Nov 2018

i i i i i

you should have known me
I've always been so lonely

when I don't answer the phone
so lonely

when I take too many showers in a day
crying tears mixed with water falling on my head

what should have I done

I've told you all the things I've done

nothing ever changed

so I became so lonely
lonely

I'll never be someone else

so lonely
so lonely

you should've known

313 · Feb 2018

Ohwell

eileen Feb 2018

Ohwell

I should have a good day tomorrow
I say as I fall asleep
I should be productive
I think as I lay in bed in the morning

Nothing really gets to me
I'm also dissatisfied
Nothing is interesting
I crave everyone's attention

I say things that I'll never do
I try and be someone better
It just never works out

313 · Sep 2018

Carmen

eileen Sep 2018

Carmen

Carmen
She's never felt loving

I try and hold her hand
from far away

Her gaze
looks through the high walls
I've been caught
she can see everything

She's a flash of lightning
the sound of a sudden storm

Keeps a straight face
at a distance

Blue car
Blue nails
Blue heart

I try to show her the colors
I try and teach her red

She's living in shades of blue
I can't see

It's all a dream
from
looking out a window
blowing a candle
a smile
a kiss
sleep
eyes
closed
whenever she's by herself

313 · Mar 2019

cool wind

eileen Mar 2019

cool wind

I'm in the water
all I've ever wanted
is be surrounded
free what comes free
nothing you see
nothing you feel
you must pay
I'm still in debt
let me kiss the sun to sleep
the water
space
what's higher than the moon
follow behind
I'm falling ahead
I'm in the air
I'm in the wind
all I've ever wanted
I can't have
to be closed off
listen close your eyes
slowly die
breathe out
I am everywhere

313 · Jul 2017

Swimmer

eileen Jul 2017

Swimmer

He said
I've never met
A poet who lives
Underwater

I couldn't hear you then

As i was swimming
To the dark corner of
The pool

I was so scared

I had not came up
In so long

Afraid i won't
Be able to breathe

I've been underwater
So safe

Swimming in
My pool of
All my thoughts

I can't come up

Yet your still waiting for
Me above

Underwater poetry

312 · Oct 2018

Aqua

eileen Oct 2018

Aqua

Cool eyes
Cold like ice
It's cliché
He spoke in a way
that made him a little older
a little wiser
I still remember the beginning
the day we lost him
I cried
and I couldn't hear anyone around me
The moon turned blue
Aqua
I won't be able to see him
I still forget
I try and call his number

I send him letters
wish him goodnight

I see him in the warm light
of the mornings

And in the pale moonlight
reflecting

I remember the beginning
now I'm living in his dream

312 · Jul 2015

dark

eileen Jul 2015

dark

Do you ever want to **** someone
Do you ever want to drown
Fear is always hanging around
And you are scared to go out
You want to have a friend
And have fun on the weekends
You feel alone in this big world
You say you're living dead
But you're waiting to be saved

311 · Nov 2017

the monster

eileen Nov 2017

the monster

creeping behind your brain

do you see me at night
behind the memories and dreams

you only ever see me
in a full moon

I only ever cry
when it's raining
scream when it's thundering

climb a tree
when there's lightning
outside

I've just been
tiptoeing
around you
my whole life
to not disturb you

all my life
making sure
you don't know I'm alive
secretly creeping behind

311 · Apr 2016

Peek

eileen Apr 2016

Peek

Frown because no one is around
Cry because no one can hear your
Sobs
Scream as loud so the birds can hear

But remember take a peek
See if anyone heard
If someone did
Run

311 · Dec 2018

I cant touch you

eileen Dec 2018

I cant touch you

loving you less
loving you a little less
every day

I made a mess

you test my patience

♥ love is blind
♥I♥m♥ ♥s♥o♥ ♥b♥l♥i♥n♥d

give me back the moon
you owe me a planet or two

don't you ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿᵍ mess with me
you're testing my patience

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴇ
ɪ'ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ

ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ

You owe
me
my life

there are no feelings
in this relationship
besides
♥h♥a♥t♥r♥e♥d

don't let it happen

****** hands
running out of air
you cant see
you cant hear
♥ I'll become your worst nightmare ♥

310 · Nov 2018

slow dancing under the snow

eileen Nov 2018

slow dancing under the snow

you keeping looking at me
like I'm someone else

you're going blind
let go of my hand

I dream
impressive dreams on your couch

slept a 5 am
didn't hear you coming in

feels like I'm the chosen one
I hear the earth cry
the trees are falling asleep

am I the only thing on fire
in this freezing winter

310 · Jun 2019

Her &

eileen Jun 2019

Her &

.................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................
.................................................................................

ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ Fᴇᴇʟ Sᴏʀʀʏ

                                                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
                                                                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

                        ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ ᴀSᴋɪɴɢ Fᴏʀ ᴘɪᴛʏ
ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ Fᴇᴇʟ Sᴏʀʀʏ

      ////////////////////////////////

ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀSᴇʟF ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ  ɴᴏᴡ

  -----------------------------------

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       ɪ'ᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ Sᴏʀʀʏ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ

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ʜᴀᴛᴇ ɪS ᴀ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪFᴜʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢ

ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'S ᴀʟʟ I Fᴇᴇʟ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ Sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ Fᴀᴄᴇ

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309 · Dec 2018

Before Our Spring

eileen Dec 2018

Before Our Spring

I'll reach the end for you
your voice holds me together

Happy December
2018

308 · Jul 2015

Smell & flower

eileen Jul 2015

Smell & flower

She had her perfumes
She loved them too
I always asked
But never did she give
She never let them go
Her memories
In a bottle
It was the only the thing she had
She treasured them
She would remember
The stories never ended
Instead of buying
She's selling
Smells them
And reminds her of
*Flowers

308 · Sep 2018

Afterlife

eileen Sep 2018

Afterlife

In my arms
I hold the sun

The one and only
you look up to in the mornings

I've disappeared
leaving you in a shadow

I hear it in my sleep
the distant drips and drops

I dream of an understanding

A universal language
between the stars and I

I hear it in my daydreams

307 · Nov 2019

the last crown

eileen Nov 2019

the last crown

out and about
sometimes the people we love the most
hurt us until we're left broken

off and high
feelings blue
I look for places that accept my head
I'm in between two cultures
I can't speak with two tongues

we all have the same colored blood
we all breathe through our lungs
someone sits upon a throne thinking they deserve it more than me

someday
I will find the courage to say hello
if not in a dream first

307 · Dec 2018

s̶e̶l̶f̶-̶s̶a̶b̶o̶t̶a̶g̶e̶

eileen Dec 2018

s̶e̶l̶f̶-̶s̶a̶b̶o̶t̶a̶g̶e̶

I'm sorry for the plant that died
in my hands

I'm sorry your
plants are dying

I'm a bad luck charm
a silent surprise

I bring the worst out of people
(oftentimes myself)

// haiku -

losing I'm dehydrated
haven't you noticed the sun
I can make it leave

307 · Nov 2019

bad sounds

eileen Nov 2019

bad sounds

put on a show
everyone is watching now
I feel their stares tickle down my legs

smile in vain
looking at him
quick to respond
I've never felt this fond but I'm over the moon now

all these bad sounds
I hear your stare the loudest

306 · Jan 2016

6:43 aM

eileen Jan 2016

6:43 aM

We all have
Our depressing
Poems

That makes us
Feel awesome

305 · Apr 2019

19° dreams

eileen Apr 2019

19° dreams

I'm scared
I'm afraid
Petrified
Terrified
Of everything and everyone
Mostly fear towards
myself

Hiding underneath my softest blanket
turning off all the sounds of the world
covering up lights

Unprepared
I can't live inside my body

304 · Mar 2019

her love language

eileen Mar 2019

her love language

what do you think about love
real love

do you want real love
are you feeling love drunk

focus on me
let's talk about love

are you lovesick
playing hide and seek

you're a loveholic
romance is everything
it's always love first

let me hold you together
I want to see you grow
let me see you fall apart

I'm your lonely bird
be my lovely bird

let me see you fly
I cut off my wings for you
let me see you cry

my lover
you have your world
come and see mine

don't run away
you are my universe

I've been thinking about
now answer
what do you think about love

304 · Dec 2021

devil's princess

eileen Dec 2021

devil's princess

I'm going to make you suffer

you deserve it

I like it

don't try and run away

the lies you fed me

easy to pick apart

when you broke my heart

I knew better

pulled myself together

I'm going to pretend

just like you did

shadows follow you

haunting your dreams

revenge is all I need

303 · May 2019

stumbling

eileen May 2019

stumbling

we're so good at falling
I must admit
I love the feeling
of letting go

feels so good to fall