Can't help you

I have no heart for it

I feel each day a little loveless
The more you want from me
The less I become

I stopped hearing my heart beat

This is the summer I feared

All the noise in my head
Doesn't let me sleep

I wish I was invisible sometimes

just to stare at you longer

a noche soñé que me soñabas
no me agradas
dónde estabas
no te quiero
te digo que te vayas
dime algo
para olvidarte
si no piensas en mi
no me busques
no eres mío
no puedo darte mí corazón
no sabes del amor

I've got things to say
look away
writing
pens and pencils
don't look in
tear a page
unopened letters
I hate
I've got things to say
forgotten memories
lost melodies
jumping tales
go outside
hide
find the darkest corner
and cry
echo out your sorrows
tell me why
I've got things to say
I will never say

I crawl into my head
you make the ugliest comments
there goes my self-esteem

you pull on my strings
left leg
twist my arms
you make me fall over and over again

are you better than me
I'm a puppet

tell me everything
I don't want to hear

I'll walk backwards

you're controlling

I'm fighting off
pulling on these strings

there goes my last bit of sanity
spiraling down into the darkness

you can pull my limbs apart
you can pick at my skin

doesn't change
your transparency

it's all your fault

I'm full of light
When I open my eyes
the darkness blinds me

a little homesick
every day I open my eyes
looking up
these are unknown walls

I miss my favorite mug
the loud music next door
small birds coming into my room
pigeons running on the roof

somewhere
nothing is wrong

when I go back
feel so sleepy
so quiet

don't let me stay for long

Your beautiful eyes
a green I've never seen

I'm so nervous

I can barely breathe

When you leave
I can't wait for next Sunday


Hush hush
I want to say something

Keep myself away

I wish you stayed a little longer

Keep myself down

Do you want me

I want to know what
he's thinking

Feels like I never left
I know that at the end of the street lights
you get closer

Christmas lights on the roof
It's April
Rainy days

Cutting flowers
putting them in a vase

Since you're gone
With no one to buy me them

now that I've seen you
I can feel my heart growing
no longer drowning

Closer to you
no we've become strangers now

Doesn't it feel so cold
Uncomfortable
Silent
sleeping toe to toe
Didn't say goodnight anymore

Lost my words

We'll never be us again
It burns my heart

that one night
if we were left alone
could we have become something
right or wrong
I liked you even when I had my eyes closed

dream dream dream
of
me
me
me

let's meet in our sleep
forgive me for all of the things
I never do

you speak a love language
I don't know

I love the way you poison my mind

How you stare at me all day long
without blinking an eye

I see you trying to slip inside
from the corner of my eye

Everyone says they love me

But I don't feel the love

Why do you keep turning away
when I need your help

You love me so much
Why can't I tell everyone else

I love the way you change my thoughts and words

You're in my mouth
Holding back everything I want to say

You infiltrate my mind
I wonder why I've changed

Now I feel so poisonous

I love the way you love me

ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ ˢᵃʸˢ ᵗʰᵉʸ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ

ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉʸ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ

ʷʰʸ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵗᵘʳⁿ ᵃʷᵃʸ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᴵ'ᵐ ʰᵘʳᵗᶦⁿᵍ

Living the city
love isn't pretty
I hope the light
that blinks in the sky
is a star
but I know it's
an airplane
not to far
cold houses
dark rooms
I hide in my closet
from you
smells like pine trees
in my bed
you want to
change everything
about me

I don't like me

Living in the city
I can't breathe
I can't sleep

Waking up early
leave to have a few hours of being free

It's raining black rain
I guess we're all in pain

Waking up to a storm
Turn away I have to fall back asleep

Happy birthday
It's August

Wake up early
Can't fall back to sleep

This week feels strange
is the moon playing tricks with my mind

I didn't think I would make it to August
Here I am

Confused
What are my goals again?

I could fall asleep around noon
Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow

I'm everything I didn't want to be
I'm everything you hate of me
can I take off this mask
can I let my tears fall
I wonder what's it like to leave you
I wonder what it's like to leave and never come back

I took your hand
thinking we could swim away
paradise ahead
you pulled me down
I'm running out of breath
please let me go
I'm trying to find my surface
I'm drowning
inside me
inside you

we're so cold
we're so cold
we don't love each other enough
to save ourselves
I can't achieve anything
while she brings me down
this place brings me down
I bring myself down

If you love me
I hate you

even if I leave
I'll always come back

Maybe it wasn't
His laugh that I fell for

Maybe it was just His
Humor

Sometimes his looks
Didn't work

But his friendship
Was admirable

& I'll love everything
Of him
Inside out

I thought I felt the rain

was I imagining
the feeling
of my shoulder
my cheek
raindrops
caressing my body

sometimes I lose myself in
past memories
I forget reality

sometimes I stay paralyzed
for a while

I thought
a thought
you thought

nevermind

I can't feel it
I'm so selfish
I'll never feel it

another morning comes

do I have to wake up

will it rain
can I imagine it

the lost feeling

sometimes I'm bored
not feeling it

so close in touch with death
I still think no one is watching over me

sometimes
I hear this song
he knows the one
goosebumps
or is it the air coming in from the high windows

calling over my sadness
I was happy
now my smile is losing its charm

sometimes
I wonder where we go
where we are
where we stay

sometimes
there's no meaning
at all

now

finding myself
fast approaching death

sometimes
all we need is a day out
to remember we're not alone

look everyone breathes in the same air
!

sometimes
you just need to hug a pillow
stop thinking
sleep away

no matter what you do

I'll forever be a fool

I'm weak inside

the guilt finds a way

hate to feel so human

I hate the feeling of forgiveness

when they don't deserve it

or knowing you owe them so much

you will never be able to pay back

there goes the feeling of love

maybe it's not real

you don't even care

I can't be honest
I wrote you a letter
I'll never send

I can't show you myself
for who I really am

I'm a pretty cloud
floating away

You loved me
when I was deep in
deep waters
I was drowning

I've never talked back
I let my words cut me deep inside

I've got a lot on my mind

so please call 9 1 1
if you don't hear from me

call me
9 1 1

I'm not feeling well
you're a liar

I can't be honest
with people who never change

you're the loneliest man alive
now I'm your
Ms. Lonely

finally it's spring
the trees are coming back to life
so am I

I found a little green leaf today
I feel life all around me

more flowers
and dandelions along the sidewalks

there's no wishes for me
to wish for

I stay hopeful
for anything anywhere

can't reach high enough
even when I felt so down

I live in such a blue world
the living and dead
so cold

It smells so good

Left wandering

Staring out at 1 AM

I've changed

Scared

I'm not the same

Laying in my bed of silk

Carried away

don't have a moment to think
I just want to think
I want to cry
I want to scream
I miss the city
I miss being alone
I don't have privacy
I'm not independent
a moment
a day
I'd like it if you went away
I'll be taking the long way home
I can't sleep

I shouldn't think about you

I do

I want you to think about me too

I saw you in my dream
Is that okay
I'll ask for your permission

I shouldn't think of you


I do

I do

I hope you do too

come close, come children
sadness reigns, it will rain soon
carry yourself, child

Thank you
I've been here forever
still doesn't feel real

she said
people always run away
people never stay
I'm alone
happy you're coming along

where did she go
I wasn't looking

can't take care of you
I wish
it hurts a little

why are we here

want to stay
and be your somebody

are you with someone else

estela
holding a basket full of tulips

her hair in pigtails
lavender dress
porcelain skin

skin almost glass
she can break

stares at you with
her eyes closed
serious aspect

I could hear her thoughts
she's never seen the sunlight

sits on a self all day
hoping someone
will clean the dust away

estela
you finally have a name

the trees moved with the leafs
the air carried everything
darkness in the dark
but there is one shadow
in the light
i was scared
it was so weird
i ran
but it was still there
so so
strange
i couldn't say
nothing but
god please help me

I'm the devil's daughter
She tells me don't water the flowers
she told me I burned away my father

I'm still calling out to the sky
I'm still wasting away inside

He says I'm a shadow
I follow everyone around
I'm stepped on

I ask him
What's this darkness
must demons watch over me

I dream of an angel
with beautiful wings
they're not for me

I really love you
So I'm gonna cry
Until you come back
Come back when you're ready

__________

ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵃᶠʳᵃᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ˡᵒᵛᵉ
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ
ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵗʳᵒⁿᵍᵉˢᵗ ʷᶦⁿᵈˢ?
ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵒᵏᵃʸ?
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ˡᶦᵛᵉ?
ᵈᶦᵈ ᴵ ᵈᵒ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ʷʳᵒⁿᵍ?
ᴵ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᶦᵍʰᵗˢ & ˢᶜʳᵉᵃᵐˢ
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ᶠˡᵒᵃᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵗᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵏʸ?
ᵈᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʷᶦᵐ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᶜᵉᵃⁿ ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵖᵘˡˡᵉᵈ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵇʸ ʷᵃᵛᵉˢ?
ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵘʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵃˡʳᶦᵍʰᵗ
ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ'ᵐ ʷᵒʳʳᶦᵉᵈ
ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ᵐʸ ˡᵒᵛᵉ

In my dream world

I would express my feelings to those close to me

My friendships wouldn't end so quickly

I wouldn't be so shy and talk to people I admire

I could climb the ladder to my roof
without being afraid

My writing isn't messy

I have green colored eyes

I'm the one who everyone loves

In my dream world
I live in the dirt with the trees and grass

I asked him
What's in your dream world

/ / /\ / /

I hope he says
Me

Today today
Will be a good day
Nothing will get in my way

hard to dream of life
when all I wished for is death

sweet darkness
stealing my breath away

can't make a picture of the future
I keep painting the past

if I stand in the rain will I wash away
can I evaporate

I could be a beautiful cloud

there's so much life
very little time

collecting the puzzle pieces
of myself

To the father I never had

You missed out on so many moments
I spent alone
You left an empty feeling in my heart
that will stay with me for my whole life

I think, I imagine of having you beside me

I cried a million times
why am I part of the unlucky ones

Are you a cloud
Are you the wind

What time do you sleep
What is your favorite color
do you drive into the horizon thinking of someone that's not me

I never really felt my youth
my childhood
I felt half full
You weren't there to balance out my troubles

I wished on shooting stars
Hoping you would appear
so I could fill up the empty hole I have inside me

Are you the rain
Are you what makes the ocean blue

Are the dream I have
Never to come true

You are what I miss
You are what I lost

\

Is it me who you miss
Is it I who you lost

today the sky was
purple and pink
and in the bottom it was burning
and on the top
it was a blue ocean
everyday it changes
one day there's clouds
or sometimes you can see the stars
and i wish i could live being
in the moon
so i could see the earth from above
but really im down on earth
but i see the sky
and it changes every night