She lingers in my brain
I hope she's doing okay

a little homesick
every day I open my eyes
looking up
these are unknown walls

I miss my favorite mug
the loud music next door
small birds coming into my room
pigeons running on the roof

somewhere
nothing is wrong

when I go back
feel so sleepy
so quiet

don't let me stay for long

I spoke to a flower today
sobbing she was falling

To the father I never had

You missed out on so many moments
I spent alone
You left an empty feeling in my heart
that will stay with me for my whole life

I think, I imagine of having you beside me

I cried a million times
why am I part of the unlucky ones

Are you a cloud
Are you the wind

What time do you sleep
What is your favorite color
do you drive into the horizon thinking of someone that's not me

I never really felt my youth
my childhood
I felt half full
You weren't there to balance out my troubles

I wished on shooting stars
Hoping you would appear
so I could fill up the empty hole I have inside me

Are you the rain
Are you what makes the ocean blue

Are the dream I have
Never to come true

You are what I miss
You are what I lost

\

Is it me who you miss
Is it I who you lost

no matter what you do

I'll forever be a fool

I'm weak inside

the guilt finds a way

hate to feel so human

I hate the feeling of forgiveness

when they don't deserve it

or knowing you owe them so much

you will never be able to pay back

there goes the feeling of love

maybe it's not real

you don't even care

17
son las 17
tiene 17
muy innocente
te quiere

17
ella es 17
una princesa sin principe
te quiere
muy callada

17
miedo a la vida
muy hermosa
17 no
la reina se quiere ir

17
vamos
animo
si se puede

the toxic truth I swallow
is you do nothing for me
everything for her

I crawl into my head
you make the ugliest comments
there goes my self-esteem

you pull on my strings
left leg
twist my arms
you make me fall over and over again

are you better than me
I'm a puppet

tell me everything
I don't want to hear

I'll walk backwards

you're controlling

I'm fighting off
pulling on these strings

there goes my last bit of sanity
spiraling down into the darkness

you can pull my limbs apart
you can pick at my skin

doesn't change
your transparency

it's all your fault

I found cupid's bow
I don't know where to go

Glowing sunlight
under the heavy clouds
mountainside
what's on the other side

Let's catch the sun
buy me a star

I want to keep them in my room

I don't know

I don't want to be alone

I'm afraid of giving up

I'm so scared of being alone

In this grey world

Where no one knows

Today today
Will be a good day
Nothing will get in my way

In 565 days I'll be somewhere dead
I'll be in hotel room 31
It'll be 1:22
With a window so high
I'll almost believe I can fly
Not so far away
I can hear you talk
The promises you break
Burn away
I want to sleep away
dream a reality
I'll never see

estela
holding a basket full of tulips

her hair in pigtails
lavender dress
porcelain skin

skin almost glass
she can break

stares at you with
her eyes closed
serious aspect

I could hear her thoughts
she's never seen the sunlight

sits on a self all day
hoping someone
will clean the dust away

estela
you finally have a name

I look for meaning in everything
except myself

your sad eyes haunt me
how can you look so miserable

if you're not okay
would anyone know?

if you're not well
would you tell someone else?

your eyes haunt me
you looked so dead
not in a good way

maybe you lost your soul
can't find it?

maybe your heart stopped
did you feel any heartbeats when we talked?

your eyes haunt me
the lonely boy
all alone inside that room

i can't help him
can't make him better
can't give him what he wants either

i had a shoulder for you to cry on
i had space to keep your darkest secrets
i would digest your shame and guilt

but i can't take your ego
your pride

so stay away from me

keep your haunted gaze
far away from me

I am honored
to hear all your deepest secrets

I'm sorry
I don't want to hear you at all anymore

your secrets cut through my skin
I wonder if I'll ever tell you mine

I know people are out back
It's all about finding yourself
I don't know

I have no balance
I'm a bit stupid
A little baby
who's too old
to keep crying
when something
doesn't go my way

I'm not afraid
I'm not ashamed

If I could
I would

I want to follow
the rainbow
everyone does

I don't ever reach the end

I'm not scared
of what they'll say

surely
it's all about me

when I'm alone
I hug myself
when I'm sad
I give up

swallow up the courage
stop thinking too much
careless
there's no one who can judge

there's no rush
you can be who you are
who you want to be

There's time
the day will come

stop thinking too much
there's nobody who can tell you who you are

sometimes I'm bored
not feeling it

so close in touch with death
I still think no one is watching over me

sometimes
I hear this song
he knows the one
goosebumps
or is it the air coming in from the high windows

calling over my sadness
I was happy
now my smile is losing its charm

sometimes
I wonder where we go
where we are
where we stay

sometimes
there's no meaning
at all

now

finding myself
fast approaching death

sometimes
all we need is a day out
to remember we're not alone

look everyone breathes in the same air
!

sometimes
you just need to hug a pillow
stop thinking
sleep away

I'm full of light
When I open my eyes
the darkness blinds me

I regret saying it
I regret it everytime
after
why did I say it that way

maybe you don't deserve my kindness
I wanted to be more than polite

now it feels like a
dead kite in a puddle

I'm sorry for me too
but I don't forgive you

can we mark this day
if you never answer
maybe its for the best

you were never there
searched for a light a million times

the one day I didn't answer back
you draw a line

it's unfair the way you treat me
like I'm nothing

if you hate me now
I'm truly happy

I can hate you too

I wish I was invisible sometimes

just to stare at you longer

come close, come children
sadness reigns, it will rain soon
carry yourself, child

pennies
and coins
don't make noise

sit a little closer
I can't see
your face

turned away

rain
clouds
you

all I think
is

you
   you  
        you

I know
you won't

I see you
and
I forget the concept of words
and
I lose my tongue

well
thank
you
for charming me
I  
know
it
wasn't
you intention

sit closer
can you see my eyes

well
apples
and
pears

you
        you
                  you


are right here

Can't help you

I have no heart for it

I feel each day a little loveless
The more you want from me
The less I become

I stopped hearing my heart beat

This is the summer I feared

You misunderstand me
my heart is iridescent

I want to lay in a field of flowers
Of all kinds

let the thorns
sink into my skin

I'm lost at sea
I can't find the right direction
to find the land

I never feel like I'm home
even when I'm laying on my own bed

just want to hear
of how it was
when we were younger

tell me
how I didn't mind

tell me how
it was
when we were younger

how we never cried

never looked up to the sky

It was one morning

when the light
suddenly disappeared

I begin to notice
feel my worries

that the sun isn't so high in the sky
anymore

then it came as a thought
I never would've thought
it like this

how
when we were younger
we played around
and never went to sleep so early

You mistake me

I'm not the same girl
I have a grey mind
a vortex in my head

My heart is overflowing

bleeding into the leaves;
grass

I just want to chase after
the days
when we were younger

that one night
if we were left alone
could we have become something
right or wrong
I liked you even when I had my eyes closed

surrounded
by hypocrites
I slowly became poisoned

oh god
please let me go away
far far away

I don't like this place
these people

they stare at me
they want something

they talk to me
they want to drown me

there's no light

crimson frights

let me go away

everyone lies
everyone lies

when you become the liar
suddenly
everyone hates you

burning letters
They're all the same

don't have a moment to think
I just want to think
I want to cry
I want to scream
I miss the city
I miss being alone
I don't have privacy
I'm not independent
a moment
a day
I'd like it if you went away
I'll be taking the long way home
I can't sleep

I love the way you poison my mind

How you stare at me all day long
without blinking an eye

I see you trying to slip inside
from the corner of my eye

Everyone says they love me

But I don't feel the love

Why do you keep turning away
when I need your help

You love me so much
Why can't I tell everyone else

I love the way you change my thoughts and words

You're in my mouth
Holding back everything I want to say

You infiltrate my mind
I wonder why I've changed

Now I feel so poisonous

I love the way you love me

ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ ˢᵃʸˢ ᵗʰᵉʸ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ

ᴵ'ᵐ ᵃˡʷᵃʸˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉʸ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ

ʷʰʸ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᵗᵘʳⁿ ᵃʷᵃʸ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᴵ'ᵐ ʰᵘʳᵗᶦⁿᵍ

fascinated
with things I can't have
things that don't last

I hate it
I hate myself for all the pain I caused

I'm going crazy in my bedroom
still dreaming about you

deleted all the messages
but you're still haunting me

cursed with your absence
addicted to the faded memories

in the theater
on a map
when I look out a window
all I do
reminding me of you

better off dead
than to live forever
in your ghostly shadow

All the noise in my head
Doesn't let me sleep

dream dream dream
of
me
me
me

let's meet in our sleep
forgive me for all of the things
I never do

you speak a love language
I don't know

i like remembering the good days

knowing they're so close
and far away
all in my brain

if i sleep early tonight
maybe i'll have the one chance
to go back

cloudy storm
safe in the big buildings
we were in the city

once in town
the double rainbow
was found

or the time
thunder crackled outside
inside my ear

yeah i'll sleep
early

i'll find myself
happy

in the old
memories

Do you love me now?
I'm everything you ever wanted

i haven't said a word
because took them all

i haven't smiled
because you took my happiness

i used to dream
you'd come back to me

temporary relief

a hello or
acknowledgement would cure me

all i do is sit in silence
all i do is frown

a fixation
i can't satisfy

i wish i could read your mind
look inside
there's no signs of me
no matter how hard i try

i used to daydream
grand gestures and marked meetings

nothing ever happened

it's all in my head
catching all my tears from falling

couldn't go too fast
i didn't even hold on
you slowed down
too late
i was already ahead of myself

what is this called?
heartbreak? how so?
i don't recall giving you anything

you took my smile
and gave me a frown

i couldn't take back my words
didn't you hear me laugh

never made it to spring
didn't see the summer moon
autumn felt like a ghost without you

what's the sacrifice
the price
to be with someone like this

i can't afford it
watched you leave
yet i need to have the last word

hope you smile
if you ever think about it
hope i linger like an ugly stain
you can't wash out

still waiting
counting the days
till you come home

come back to me
once more

she said
people always run away
people never stay
I'm alone
happy you're coming along

where did she go
I wasn't looking

can't take care of you
I wish
it hurts a little

why are we here

want to stay
and be your somebody

are you with someone else

Feels like I never left
I know that at the end of the street lights
you get closer

Christmas lights on the roof
It's April
Rainy days

Cutting flowers
putting them in a vase

Since you're gone
With no one to buy me them

now that I've seen you
I can feel my heart growing
no longer drowning

Closer to you
no we've become strangers now

Doesn't it feel so cold
Uncomfortable
Silent
sleeping toe to toe
Didn't say goodnight anymore

Lost my words

We'll never be us again
It burns my heart

It smells so good

Left wandering

Staring out at 1 AM

I've changed

Scared

I'm not the same

Laying in my bed of silk

Carried away