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432 · Nov 2018
♘ Lucifer
eileen Nov 2018
I've been seeing somebody
can't tell nobody

he's like
tell no soul
sleep alone
I'm always watching you
all around me
passing by
shadows
cool water
his face so cold

he's got my heart
all around me
I hear it beating
shadows
follow me

he's like
stay alone
don't answer the phone
turn the lights off
keep me close

all of the nights
I've wasted
how many times
did I give myself over
without a concern
your words
pinned into my
brain

all around me
they all have your face
432 · Mar 2019
Spring
eileen Mar 2019
dear my blues listen
you're not fine, it's not okay
you'll run out of breath
haiku
431 · Nov 2018
a leap through time
eileen Nov 2018
I'm afraid to die
because
I might come back to life
10w
430 · Jan 2019
sumirse
eileen Jan 2019
no estoy bien
quiero ir
a otro mundo
sin Ti

Sígueme
Quiero dejarte

tu eres el mar

eres eterno

No puedo escapar de Ti

tengo miedo

quiero ir
a otro mundo
sin Ti

quiero
olvidame
de tu cara

sal de mis sueños
430 · Nov 2018
don't tell anyone
eileen Nov 2018
I'm dying inside
trying to convince myself it's all lies
10W / she's in the rain
429 · Sep 2018
09|10
eileen Sep 2018
The old days
where I hated everyone
now all I hate is myself

The old days
where I wanted to jump out the window

Is
now me closing them to keep myself inside

My mind is over flowing
with secrets and lies

years ago
I felt this heavy feeling

Is it back

I don't hate anyone
I don't love myself enough

I find reasons to stay
hold onto them
with a grip so tight
I'm left with bruises

It's still better
than not waking up
to another morning
429 · Nov 2018
Sin
eileen Nov 2018
Sin
All he ever wanted was a little love
and corruption
10w
427 · Sep 2018
saw you in a dream
eileen Sep 2018
It's six in the morning
I've woken up

You were in my dreams
I should go back to sleep

Try to chase the dream back
inside my head

I don't want to think of you
subconciously

I don't want to think
You'll be with me

I can't hold onto a dream
forever

The sun is slowly rising
let me sleep

// dream of you
one last time
427 · Sep 2018
Don't you know
eileen Sep 2018
Cloudy skies
with thunderstorms

You turn off all the lights
Leave me in the dark
I've found my way

Why don't you disappear
Why don't you speak

Turn on the lights
Scare me
I'm traumatized

You will never

Never ever

Ever

Never

Love me

If you want things so simple
send me the pin number
I'll keep our talks
to the minimum
427 · Oct 2018
when the leaves fall
eileen Oct 2018
I learned to levitate
with my head
I've dreamed of blood
the guilty feeling hangs above me
I'm trying to breathe in the fire
inside my stove
the water to cold
it's getting cold
I'm having troubles
troubles that won't go away
telling me to close my eyes
   droplets falling
so so
slowly
quiet
I'm stuck inside
I know this feeling
winter is coming
alone
missing home
where I couldn't feel the cold
425 · Jun 2019
nothing at all
eileen Jun 2019
somedays
your love feels like fog

I wanted a cloud
pouring down on me

some days
your I love you
means nothing
425 · Nov 2018
✄ cut it out
eileen Nov 2018
Will you hold me up
When I've fallen

Under the weather
above the clouds
hugging pillows

I don't feel so good right now

My heart has done too much
I'm breathing
Can I take a break

I can't find
Enlightenment

I'm falling behind
Will you be there to grab my hand

Pull me out of this dream

I've got flowers to press
before they die

Vases empty
emotions down the drain
eileen Oct 2019
I've got things to say
look away
writing
pens and pencils
don't look in
tear a page
unopened letters
I hate
I've got things to say
forgotten memories
lost melodies
jumping tales
go outside
hide
find the darkest corner
and cry
echo out your sorrows
tell me why
I've got things to say
I will never say
424 · Feb 2019
Lucid dream
eileen Feb 2019
Oh what a beautiful dream
If only it was real
10w
Reversible
424 · Nov 2018
diabolic love
eileen Nov 2018
new year
new face
I've got no plans
I've spent all
my hope
on lost family and friends

how I'd love to swim
inside a river again

look up to the sky
only to be blinded
by the pale clouds

I'm a walking overdose
sometimes you just want a slice of skin
that's what he tells me
cutting up his wrists

how I'd love to be in my bed again
with my heavy teddy bear timothy

ask me anything
I should know

I'm clean
I'm clean
a little mean
I don't answer to anyone
I'm scared they'll see

sleepless nights
asleep
I'm dreaming wide awake
the light is coming in

I'm not who I'm supposed to be
I'm not someone you should believe in
I'm not who I want to be
I'm not someone you should trust

years of wishing death

I've seen the end

I don't fear death
death fears me

the less I know
here comes the worst

the less they know
the better

my mind grows weak

I think all I've ever wanted
was more life

he's got me dancing
he's got my head

prince of darkness
caress me to sleep

eternal warmth
in his cold arms
424 · Sep 2021
I think you're my friend
eileen Sep 2021
isn't it beautiful
to look forward to see someone

isn't beautiful
to imagine a day
that we can be together

will
you take my hand

I will
take your head

tell me
everything

everything
you know

everything

everything
you don't

it's so beautiful

you're so beautiful
423 · Nov 2019
ungrateful wretch
eileen Nov 2019
The perfect Christian knight
drinks all night
he lies to his wife

The perfect knight
drinks around noon
sleeps all afternoon

I know his daughter
his daughter doesn't know him
I know the real him

funny
so

I can ruin his life
with the snap of my fingers

the perfect Christian knight
he won't run far
I'm high off


he stole the crown
I'll cut off his head
if he thinks he can have it all again
420 · Oct 2021
I have to be leaving
eileen Oct 2021
you're online

I found a paperclip in my bathroom
strange place I'll never know

it's disheartening
sadly I won't message you anymore

I won't speak to you anytime soon

if this is a mistake
then I'll regret it later
for now I will try

can't say goodbye
confrontation is my weakness

another night I wash my feet in acid
stop myself from walking back to you
420 · May 2019
:(
eileen May 2019
:(
I can't believe you don't love me anymore
418 · Oct 2018
something should work
eileen Oct 2018
I'm not depressed
I'm just sad
I'm not drowning
I'm falling so slowly
walls around me crumbling
I'm fine
I don't cry
I'm not questioning my reality
I will not scream
losing faith in me
hands shaking
retracing my steps
clouds walking west
most people never understand
my girlfriends don't understand
he won't understand

a bird
a tree
a cloud
a feeling

the moments of
reckless behavior
when no one
is watching me

I want to stay here
in the corner of my mind
it's always sunny
with slow breathing
418 · Oct 2017
ⓡ i ℊ ℍ t
eileen Oct 2017
why don't you step up to me
call me out
playing you
it's so much fun to do
I'm only doing it on purpose
so I can get you to notice

got so many drafts
I can't complete
so transparent
I can see what your about to say
I can see it's going to rain
even though the sun is melting

we'll only last this century
by 2100
were gone
418 · Oct 2021
soap
eileen Oct 2021
you've bought me soap
all summer long

you make me feel safe
make me feel sane

I don't think
there's any feeling better than this

felt like the
right place
right time

a decision
I made that I won't regret
for the first time ever

you're the only person
I can look in the eyes

you're the only one
I can lean my head on your shoulder

never could find my place
so different now

caught up
why look behind me
when I can find you next to me
417 · Nov 2018
Don't let me down
eileen Nov 2018
Don't calculate me
pretend to know me

There's no understanding
for my broken love

Love
My love

It's the ending of November
Rain
Wind
Leaves

Standing under a red tree
Crying
let me go to sleep
wake me up in April

All I see is green love
Love
My love

This life treats me like a stranger

Don't pretend to know the meaning of my words
If so you're in danger

Stop stop stop stop talking

You're not the one

You know nothing
416 · Feb 2018
Half moon
eileen Feb 2018
It's a beautiful thing to be in love
Until it breaks you apart

.

It nice to share a piece of your mind
You'll probably give it all away

.

It feels like no one knows
How to love
These days

.
415 · Apr 2019
April fools
eileen Apr 2019
yeah I know
I'm not so important now

so I keep on looking

where I'll feel validated

sent you a letter every day
I had you in front of my mind
I gave you everything
even if it was mine

doesn't matter now
let's forget
the love

I was someone you depended on
now
I'm nothing
I'm feeling lost

emotional
and alone

I'm not so important now
it's because I don't have the world
I have nothing left to give

I wish I didn't have to see your face
swallowing the ******* tears and pain

I'm not important
I know
412 · Oct 2018
iloveyouso
eileen Oct 2018
we feel the same way
...
I think I love you
10W
411 · Dec 2021
public to - ?
eileen Dec 2021
collections
eyes

words
ears

drafts
mouths

all of the things
I can't tell

I always write in my head
never out loud

scared someone will hear a sound
what if they find out

closing my journal
keeping myself in the dark

hidden
noses

time goes by
everything changes
I stay still

pens running out of ink
it's 2 am I can't sleep

I'll stay forever stay dumb and naïve
won't teach myself a thing

this is home
if I go anywhere else

what will I find out in the unknown
409 · Sep 2019
fernand
eileen Sep 2019
crawling around
my head

feels fuzzy
feels familiar

I held a pen
when I was twelve
and I never let it go

burned off
half my soul

I don't know who I am
no one knows me


I feel it
breathing
running inside
my mind

never goes away
in my sleep
in my conversations
spaced out

feels like a spiral

just like the day I found it
I can't separate
I can't forget
408 · May 2019
drafting ????
eileen May 2019
believe me
I need help
believe me
I don't need you
I'm okay
I run away
letting go
hold you closer
my voice
blows like the wind
can't you feel it
don't you hear it
believe me
everything is okay
I need you
I'm not okay
I don't want help
I run away
407 · Jul 2019
life after
eileen Jul 2019
This sadness
does not define me

        \ \ \

but
    am I
       it's
           definition
                                ?
406 · Sep 2018
never ending summer
eileen Sep 2018
I thought I felt the rain

was I imagining
the feeling
of my shoulder
my cheek
raindrops
caressing my body

sometimes I lose myself in
past memories
I forget reality

sometimes I stay paralyzed
for a while

I thought
a thought
you thought

nevermind

I can't feel it
I'm so selfish
I'll never feel it

another morning comes

do I have to wake up

will it rain
can I imagine it

the lost feeling
406 · Nov 2019
laundry detergent
eileen Nov 2019
I didn't mean it seriously
If I die
remember
remember
10w
404 · Dec 2017
IhopeIdontseeyouanytimesoon
eileen Dec 2017
ᵂʰᵉⁿ ᵈⁱᵈ ʷᵉ ᵍᵉᵗ ˢᵒ ᵈⁱˢᶜᵒⁿⁿᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ
ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ʸᵒᵘ
ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ᴵ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ᵈᵒ
ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ
ᴵ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ
ᵂⁱˡˡ ʷᵉ ᵉᵛᵉʳ ˢᵉᵉ ᵉᵃᶜʰ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵃᵍᵃⁱⁿ
ᴵ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃᵐᵉ
ᴵ ᵃᵖᵒˡᵒᵍⁱᶻᵉ
ᴵ ˡᵒˢᵗ ᵐʸ ᵐⁱⁿᵈ

ᴵ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵒⁿᵉ ᵈᵃʸ
ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉᵈ
ᴵ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵃᵐᵉ

ᴹᵃʸᵇᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ
ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ
ᵒⁿˡʸ ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ
402 · Dec 2019
1166
eileen Dec 2019
eat my words
let them tear you apart

sleep with my words
haunting you into a nightmare

I will wake you up

nothing but me
there's no one but me
401 · Sep 2018
MMXV
eileen Sep 2018
This is my world
right here
right now
don't tell me the lies they tell
I'm not afraid
of living
a silent death
feels like I'm living in a world
filled with hypocrites
everywhere I go
opening the windows
don't take my heart
don't throw it away
I got one foot in the past
no dreams for tomorrow
sleeping into oblivion
let me see you again
let me see past my mind
time flies
only to return
to the beginning
400 · Dec 2021
lost maps
eileen Dec 2021
every time I look at myself I see you

am I your puppet
or are you mine?

I can't find the exit
acting like you're wasted
you know exactly what you're saying

did you find your reason to exist
made a list

don't hate me
turning cold

I feel sick
painfully hurt

I hope you rest soon
left you inside

want you to cry
can you love
did you see it all

everything I give
so I can receive
399 · Oct 2018
A lonely weekend
eileen Oct 2018
sleep my love
sleep well
the angels above sing lullaby's for you
clouds weep at your great existence
stars shine
the sun burns with love for you
the moon is too shy to whisper
I love you
sleep
dream
an endless dream
of paradise
a heaven
sleep
399 · Jul 2019
I dont like red apples
eileen Jul 2019
a noche soñé que me soñabas
no me agradas
dónde estabas
no te quiero
te digo que te vayas
dime algo
para olvidarte
si no piensas en mi
no me busques
no eres mío
no puedo darte mí corazón
no sabes del amor
397 · Aug 2018
too much
eileen Aug 2018
dried skin
picking it off my lips

addicted
so compulsive

it's not cold
let me hold your hands
under the water

let me look into your eyes
in the dark

we always want to touch
never talk so much

picking at my lips

bad habits
397 · Nov 2018
darkness reigns
eileen Nov 2018
I spoke to a flower today
sobbing she was falling
397 · Nov 2017
drafting IV
eileen Nov 2017
I have flowers on my desk
and kitchen
in every other room
you could put them in

what happens when they die
will you buy more
smells so pleasing
397 · Dec 2018
Where are you from
eileen Dec 2018
A house
A street
The city
A state
A country

The earth
The solor system
The milky way galaxy
This universe

I must've told my 2nd grade teacher

I really loved her
I miss her sometimes

Sometimes I forget I use to be so small

We were all once children !

Now I teach my own
that it doesn't matter where they're from
They belong to the earth
It's a gift
from the universe
396 · Mar 2019
deadly loving
eileen Mar 2019
I'm everything I didn't want to be
I'm everything you hate of me
can I take off this mask
can I let my tears fall
I wonder what's it like to leave you
I wonder what it's like to leave and never come back

I took your hand
thinking we could swim away
paradise ahead
you pulled me down
I'm running out of breath
please let me go
I'm trying to find my surface
I'm drowning
inside me
inside you

we're so cold
we're so cold
we don't love each other enough
to save ourselves
I can't achieve anything
while she brings me down
this place brings me down
I bring myself down

If you love me
I hate you

even if I leave
I'll always come back
395 · Feb 2024
.
eileen Feb 2024
.
CLOSED
395 · May 2022
lip stain
eileen May 2022
hard to dream of life
when all I wished for is death

sweet darkness
stealing my breath away

can't make a picture of the future
I keep painting the past

if I stand in the rain will I wash away
can I evaporate

I could be a beautiful cloud

there's so much life
very little time

collecting the puzzle pieces
of myself
394 · Dec 2018
Ill see you in my sleep
eileen Dec 2018
She lingers in my brain
I hope she's doing okay
10w
394 · Oct 2018
a chance of sadness
eileen Oct 2018
to ask for your love
is impossible
there is none
10W
393 · Apr 2021
no wishes to wish for
eileen Apr 2021
finally it's spring
the trees are coming back to life
so am I

I found a little green leaf today
I feel life all around me

more flowers
and dandelions along the sidewalks

there's no wishes for me
to wish for

I stay hopeful
for anything anywhere

can't reach high enough
even when I felt so down

I live in such a blue world
the living and dead
so cold
393 · Sep 2018
curves
eileen Sep 2018
fly me to a cloud

I know it's not a game

it's not okay

I'm your nightmare

A rose so pretty
it kills you
I'm the one who
picks you apart

when the time comes
you'll be begging for my help

life is so funny

you'll wish
you didn't do it

it's alright
I know to play mind games
393 · Jan 2019
wednesday girl
eileen Jan 2019
I wish you knew the real me
I'm so filthy
10w
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