your love is so cheap
feels like plastic

you know
you're so heartless

so why do you care
if I care less

do you get mad
when you're lonely

do you get mad
when you have no one

you act like you didn't have it coming

write with love
for love

write out your anger
before it becomes a danger

write out your pain
in case it gets heavy inside your chest

write out your ideas and thoughts that flow in your head
don't lose them
they can become a masterpiece

Always write out
who are you
if you're losing yourself

writing in my dreams
writing in my sleep

I never want to stop myself
from expressing myself

you pulled the words from my head
and threw them far away

I'll get them back

I have to connect myself to an outlet
I'm drained out of energy

My friends
Beautiful days

I never noticed the trees then

My life
hard times

Its best of friends
We'll never see each other again


I'm running out of memories
I have little space

Please erase all past years pictures from my head

I'm trying to download your laugh
replay it
When you're away

I can't cry

I have no sense

Best of friends

Let me feel it
What they feel

All I feel is lost

cutting my fingers off

I want to befriend the birds
that land by my window
in the morning

the cat that almost
came inside my kitchen
the same morning

cutting out my eyes

I want to leave my home
take a one-way ticket to the moon

foot on the gas
passing all the red lights
I'm ready to go

twisting my skin
turning into dust

passing all the stop signs
I'm ready to go

swallow my tongue

I've gone insane
in a few days

the flesh on my body
melting away

I'm eating up clouds
but I still feel so hollow

I know my heart will always stay shallow

Loving me is loving a half moon
I could never give myself fully to you

No one really likes me
I'm a mess
Spilled ink
On a white dress
The stain on your shirt
That never goes away
A broken window
invisible star
So I stay away

Keeping distance

Worlds within a room
I have to resist

They'll never know
How much love I hold
I could give

I'm a new moon
Standing behind
The shadows

I don't shine
I only reflect

I'm just here
I don't know why

No really likes me


I do

come and find me

you never look for me

why are you hiding

you make me heartless

these feelings bother me

come and see me

she's not looking

it's so right

feels wrong

I want to be on your good side

Don't worry
I know you'll never love me

Soft space
tears on my face

I won't tell you
about the storm clouds in my head

Don't you love my darker side

I got demons
that have no place to go

I want the bright side

I give you all my emotions

Showing you all things hidden
my heart
is found

I know you have your eyes set on someone else

I'm following you
automatically

I want to be on the same path
You choose to take

I can't ever get past it

I don't want to feel like I'm hanging around

Please tell me something

I know you'll never know me

Soft dreams
believing
but also grieving

I'll cry with you
I'll forget your real name
I love your dark side
I love the demons in your head
I make them go away

I'll let you lay your head on my shoulder
I won't leave you alone

I make things look so easy
in my head
I drown

before I even see the surface

I'm trying to make it through

I'll give you my light
I'll carry the weight

to keep your pretty smile

rain
sleeping in memories of rain
trying to remember how I felt
now I'm confused
stuck in a daze
wake me up
when a time machine exists
I want to talk about
everything we lost
the morning after
I wish I could hear
you laugh one last time
If only you could look
at me the same way you did back then
now I'm crying
I'm dying
I'll **** myself
for you to love me

this is my trauma I'm
so tired of the constant lies
feeling deprived of life

There was a time
when I asked questions

I received answers

Now such thing is a disaster

Keep my thoughts to myself
locked in a box

I'm a heavy cloud
waiting to rain down

darkness reigns
inside me

living in a butterfly dream

There's a constant storm in my ear

We all love in good nature

I live in silence

so materialistic
I wish you'd find other ways to love me

I don't like to hear myself breathe
I don't know what to eat
can I die in my sleep
tired of living this reality
I don't want to breathe
how do I break free

everything hurts
nightmares start to feel so real

there's no one to call
I'm all alone

light flicking
all alone

it's so cold
in the dark

fading away
deep inside my mind

there's a space
I created
hell or heaven I can't tell the difference

You don't really care
Lying to yourself

Can't treat me better
I'm growing older

Trying to not be a bother

Moving out the way

So you can see someone else

I'm still mad over the things you said
Even if years passed

Still kills me inside
Makes me so sad

Sad sounds so small

It's corrupted my whole body

I don't really care
Lying to myself

So consumed
Waiting for the end

Dying with a straight face

Your only ten miles away
Feels like your farther away

I went up north
Where we could touch the sky

Back
In town
The clouds
Are higher now

Everyone's up in going
Am i doing nothing
Caught up in the music

Everyone's up and going
What am i doing

Feel the rush come in
Gonna change
Myself again

I want to talk about my day
no lies or secrets mixed in

I want to smile and laugh
feel it running through my veins

I'm wishful
so hopeless

I forget you
again
you're still crawling inside my head

I hope you don't judge
I'd hate to see that look in your eyes

I had an awakening yesterday
I'll sleeping it away

Pick a hole in the sky
Want to see a glimpse of the blue
Hiding under this grey blanket of clouds
I'm being blown away
Nothing makes sense
Fiction or fantasy
Is all I can take
I can't think
My head is silent
That left turn
Changes you whole

you say you want to take me to places

I know we'll go nowhere

He didn't see her
But it didn't matter

She was in plain sight
No one noticed

Her wish of being invisable
Is real

keep me in the cold

does it ever cross your mind

when it's quiet

when there's no one home
does it ever cross your mind

how I feel
what time I sleep

the old days
where I always followed

does it ever cross your mind

us driving into the horizon
the sunset
rising laughter up our necks

whenever you drive around town

does it ever cross your mind

how life changed so fast

do I ever cross your mind

whenever you shut your eyes

our winter
is looking blue
just like the last

this is the last time
we'll spend an october together

every day
feels like a countdown

for a sick separation
I know
this is going to hurt

I'm searching for a new home
and you've got your own

he doesn't have a ring
for you yet
hoping he finds one soon

I'll be so far away
by the time
you realize
this is all a big mistake

our last autumn
ending soon
we died faster
than the falling burnt leaves

this is going to hurt
what else can I do
try and move on

no distance
or time
can cure this heart split in two

my eyes are burning
when the lights reach them

i went shopping
got lots of stuff

he has his
city family

never picks up
the phone
for his own blood
children

yeah i know he
doesn't care
and i wish i could
spit out fire words
to the phone

i crawl into
a shell once
i hear his voice

i'm probably traumatized
it doesn't matter to
anyone though

because i should
learn to get up
on depressing days
and practice fake happy

no one takes anything
personal

if i was on the verge of death
we would forget about it
in a few weeks

go on with life
not even bothering
with what's going on
in our heads

pick up the phone
and hear the haunting voices
that talk problems

while having a nightmare
around 7 o clock

cracked telephone

doesn't even call me
anymore

Wish you the best in life
Even though mine isn't so fine
I'm going through a bumpy ride

I'm sure you got it much better
It doesn't matter

This cruel life
makes me stronger

It won't be long
the light inside
will shine so bright

It feels to dark here
candles burning out

You've made it this far
the sun coming up
going down

If it weren't for you
the moon wouldn't hang around

It won't be long till the stars come out
and play

whispering stay
stay

If you leave
all we'll see is a black sky
You're the only star I want to see in the daylight


It won't be long
Please hold on

You'll come back again

the clouds look strange
are they real
am I dreaming

I'm empty
no love

I think I love you

I don't where I'm going

all I hear is your voice singing me to sleep
I hope you never leave my head

I saved a spot for you in my heart

waiting for it be complete

nowadays
I see no life

I'm learning about the world
I'm not learning anything about myself

each day
I **** myself a little more

waiting for an epiphany

I think I clench my teeth
when I'm half asleep

does it always hurt this much
when you leave somebody

I hope
I'm loveable

I'm scared I'll forever
eat my breakfast, lunch, dinner alone

if I stretch both of my arms
I cover my entire bed
a spot no one ever lays

I always have a song stuck in my head
in the morning
at five thirty

I don't want to be happy alone
laughing all by myself

I'll love again
days I'll open my heart

it's not enough
to burn myself for you

it's not enough
to lose my mind and body

it's the missed details
all of the unseen marks

I can't wake up today
so close my door if you decide to stay

I'll hate myself again
when I realize I can only write in pain

here it starts
this is where it begins

from the top to the bottom
of a page

it's not enough
to be addicted

it's not enough
to lose my reality

when all I want to do
is sink further into
a suffocating abyss

this one is different than the rest
it's a different type of darkness

even if it hurts and kills me
just as the others did

As the year is ending
I remember
What happened
In the beginning
And last year

I want to believe
It gets better

But it's like
I'm lying to myself
Oh I know tomorrow's weather
It's going to rain

It'll be a sunny day

Why can't I repeat today

As december collapses
On my shoulders

I feel myself drain
Somewhere down

I tell myself
Next year will be a change
Everything will be okay

Yet it's like
I'm lying
Promising
Something
Unreachable

I can't get it
I won't make it

Depressed
Laughs
False hope
I carry

Tomorrow
I'll have a ****** nose
The tears I cry
Come from my soul
Background voices
Never go

As I lay awake
In my cold bed

Maybe next year
It'll be different

I just can't feel it

he's got a heart
and I want it all

he hides it in plain sight
he's like sunlight
burning my skin

all I see is red
all I hear is him

I'm calling out your name
I'm waiting for you to do the same

I know you'll never love me
I'll be here forever
if you change your mind

I see your face everywhere
I hear your name all the time

I'm calling out your name
expecting the same

I'll die
hoping you realize
I'm the one

I'm looking for someone

somewhere

I can't wake up

I can feel the fan running

Sun is shining

I can hear the rain falling

I'm looking for something

I've never met before

To complete me
To fill me up with life

My past is filled with so much light and shadows

I miss her

He's gone

In a better place


I hope to get there one day

I want to cry
I want to breathe in your air

I want to live in your lungs

your eyes sparkle
I wonder when is the right time

killing myself to understand you

no signs
no life
little time

I want to go home
I wish to be left alone

Cause I'm so in love
Forbidden
Know you'll never get it
I'll just disappear into the night
I'm so in love
Betrayal
Don't care
Having to wait
Hurts a heart
Find me
Where stars blossom
In a nebula
In pink skies
In a blank page
bigger than these bones
I'm not in my head
Feeling so far away
It's like my soul went for a walk
Trying to call it back in
Knowing it's too far
So far

12:25
I wonder if you know how loved you are

Driving in the night
You always turn away from the moon
I've spoken with stars
They love you too

I hate leaving you behind
Hoping you'll catch up in time

Echo in my mind
Memories of you & I

I'll miss you
thank you

Remember you are loved

Drive me home with the windows down

Turn around

The moon keeps an eye on you
When you're looking away

Thank you
Remember so many love you

I'll always want to stay

I'll keep on talking with stars

Ask them how you are

You are loved

Only in my world
Do you hear the birds sing at night

the moon comes out
in the daytime
You can see a galaxy around five

Only in my eyes can you
See a red sky
Flames are the clouds
it's raining
Ashes

Beneath the walls
Under the harden paint
There's an alien

I keep your laugh in a box
So I can hear it whenever I want

Keep a smile in a bag
put it on


Need a hand
to hold
ran out of those

When will we get to forever
She said I'll love you there

stuck between 3 walls
I still can't get out
looking at her

I hear voices outside
inside
somewhere close by

flowers don't die
don't fade away and vanish

i waassssss
typinggg
beforeee
youuu hit mee

i stareee intoo
spacee moree oftenn

alll thesee redd linees

caan't findd thhe righht tiime tto cryy

ii knoow imm richh
whats iit maatter
in thhis tiime

ii havee tto grrow uup

nnot ggoing tto happpen
withh a bllindfold

nott goinng ttoo happeen

I don't like your name

We can change it

I can keep secrets
I'll stay quiet

I laugh in my sleep
I cry in my dreams

I'm always dying
when she comes around

I bloom for her
so she can pick me from the ground

I don't like your frown
I can change it

I'm always quiet
I got a lot of things to hide

I never have time to see the moon rise
I only see the moon disappear
in pastel hues
of the morning sky

it's back on
time to overflow
into this white screen
couldn't hear me scream

it's online
we're back
can it stay this way
much longer stay a little longer

I don't hear the bells ring
we crawl into empty spaces all of my words
wait wait we wait a while longer going offline again

hello poetry is dead
a ghost we come back to now and then
days change out of place let it overflow we won't go

our poetry will always come back to life

ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ

ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀʏ

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ʀᴀɪɴʏ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴀʏ
ᴍᴇꜱꜱʏ ʙᴇᴅ
ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘʏ ᴇʏᴇꜱ
ɪ ꜰᴇʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇᴍʙʀᴀᴄᴇ

ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ʟᴏɴɢ
ɪ ʟᴇꜰᴛ
ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴛᴀʏ
ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ
ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇʀ

ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ɪ ʜᴇʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇʀ

ꜰᴀʀ ᴀᴡᴀʏ

ɪ'ᴍ ᴇʀᴀꜱɪɴɢ ᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇꜱ

sǝıɹoɯǝɯ ɹno ɓuısɐɹǝ ɯ,I

ʎɐʍɐ ɹɐɟ

my mother was an alcoholic
drinking one more just to sleep
so I started to drink too
even if I didn't like the taste

I just wanted her to love me
to hold me tight
oh she was so broken
so I climbed inside her empty heart
tried to start a fire
but she left me dead and cold
in that hallow space

I went to waste
couldn't find someone to love me
I took all she had
all of her pain
I made it my own
in my little head
I believed if
she couldn't love me
at least she could hurt me
in the ugliest ways
maybe one day she'd realize
her worst mistakes

but I'm older now
she never takes the blame
I was never the victim
was I supposed to hate her
is it too late

I never once exploded
swallowed it down
that's why she likes me
because I put on my fake smile
tell her I'm okay
when in reality
I never processed a **** thing
stuck in my 12 year old mentality
frozen in that body

mother please love me
it hurts when you never put me first
I was your daughter
waiting my turn

you say you're going to sleep
but your lights are still on

the lights are still on

police cars are outside
we're a little scared they're here for us

I bet
he feels so smug
up in heaven

it doesn't feel right
I bet he likes that

we're avoiding eachother
I don't tell you anything

just give me nothing
like always

I have to do everything
I used to love you so so much

I don't know you anymore
where's the nice guy I met years ago