you swallow so many pills
all for a goodnight sleep

do the ghosts
still keep you awake

the only words I can ever say
goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

never gave me the chance to say
good morning

you never do

it's late
why do we only talk
when you're running away

the only words I can say
you give me no chances

goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

do you have to go
to a different place
you're dimensions away

you're in my dreams
quiet mornings trying to forget

you make me go to sleep
I can't believe
I hate that you know
where I sleep
I want to tear away
the skin of my face
break my bones
I'm so wrong
to keep wanting
to let everything go
now everyone sees
what I see
It gets harder to breathe
my veins feel weaker
as I move
I don't speak my pain
so where does it go
the pit of my stomach
or the far end of my throat

asking myself
what do I live for
who do I live for

oh satan I think I love you
love you more

I felt tall
swimming in between
mountain valleys

Now I'm crossing over
smaller I grow

Doesn't really make sense no

I lost myself
yesterday afternoon

Who am I
today

My whole body disappeared

No one is coming

I saved myself this morning

It's bizarre
I fell too far
so close to the light
I wonder what's behind
to see the stars that don't shine so bright

mangos and apples
we screamed for hours
smiles from flowers
my legs are shaking
I can barely make it

I'll see you again
not today
I'll speak to you differently
I'll pretend

for now
I stay behind
let others be ahead
I want a deep breath

I love my bed
I love your smile
and the scent of your perfume

We will fade

I know time moves past us
You will fade

Like clouds after a storm

And when the world sleeps

I will fade

Leaving me behind

I've never met anyone
walk by my side

We fade
into the smoke
of our pain

Dust in the wind
I can hear you go

I don't want it
I've sacrificed my life


I'm fading

As long as I see you smile
I'll be okay

what's on your mind
I can't tell you what's on mine

disconnected
are we still best friends

I can be isolating
you're away in unknown places

trying to find new love
even if you cross my mind

tempted
and delusional

hoping we find our way back together
I can't find someone better

you're the worst of all
no one hurts me like you

you're so unloving
leave me wanting more

more and more till
I crumble apart

keep to myself
don't ever give up

crack my heart open
I have to leave you
you'll love me after I go

it's not all about me
                                //      it's all because of you

They ask me if
I see the glass half empty
or half full

I see nothing at all

There are days
I want to kiss the wind

kiss kiss

I'm insane
you love me the same way
I use to love myself
back in the old days

I see your shadow
coming inside my room

I love you too

I love you too
even if all I do
is smell
smoke inside my room
because of you

I want to kiss the wind

marry a rose
live inside a red vase

You're beautiful
I'm insane

I love you too

It's to cold for you to be
Inside
So come inside

It's to
Dark to be walking
So hold my hand

It's a lonely world
For us to be apart

cruel world
love
you spilled out
your darkness
I can't hold
I soak it all up
feeling blue
down to my bones
you'll know
chain ourselves
to closed doors
don't ask me
why I love you
I don't want it
you caress my
broken veins
weaker
and I've
washed away
the last of my sanity
you'll know
catch my breath
steal my life
we love
love me sad
drink up
I'm leaving
where is
my
lost heaven

she tells me her secrets
I tell her mine

she wants me
she wants me

I'm not who she thinks I am

someone else
can love her better

wishing stars
afraid of heights

she's the perfect dream
I don't want to wake up now

I want her
but not like this

It's been a sentimental month
filled with sweat, tears, and fake smiles
Impulsive actions
sleeping early in the morning
Sixteen years have gone by
She's getting sentimental again
this month has been a raging storm
much like the one in Jupiter

Sixteen years have passed
She's sentimental

City walks
under the street lights
uneasy
quiet feelings

driving in the rain
waiting to get there

///////////the/////////////////////////////////////////////
///////sun//////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////will//////////////////////////rise/////////////
///////in///////////delight///////////////////////////////

I know the world is inside a dark time
the moon lies silent
the sun isn't singing

There will come a time
soon
We'll have a moment of peace

The earth will take a deep breath

The moon will start dancing
and the sun will sing its lullaby

I'm sad

the pain never ends for you and I

I wish I had the heart to love you
the way you deserve to be loved
I can't comprehend

there's no ending
I reach into the void
no one ever reaches the abyss

I wish I had the brain to understand you
the way you deserve to be listened to
I can't love

living in the void
there's no beginning to this ending

I wish I could look inside my heart
to know if I love you at all

any amount I can trace
to erase

amusing
how I break myself off

tearing myself apart into
tiny pieces no one can find

why is everyone so emotional
I can't be sentimental

I feel nothing

you say my name
when I'm not around

oversharing, overbearing
don't act like you're so special
you're like everyone else

she's so nice
it's suspicious

I don't want to hear it
you're not my friend

keep my name
out of your mouth

How much I wish it was
Happiness that inspires
Me

deja todo
encima de mi

cargo todo el peso por ti

cuando quieres
cuando no
me voy a ir

deja me dormir
no tengo porque vivir así

espero ver el fin
te quiero dejar ir

te quiero
te quiero

estoy cansada
el sacrificio lo voy hacer

I believed
I could have you forever

I was asking for too much
I can't have that

I wanted to call you
in love

I wanted to say
I love you

too many bandaids
for all the cuts you left on my heart

I'm bleeding
all over again

missing you
missing you is the worst pain
I didn't want to experience


say you miss me too
say you love me too
say you think about me too

ease my mind
I haven't heard your voice in so long

started from the top
what are we doing at the bottom

still down
I don't think we'll find a way back

on repeat
duplicating the same problems
replicating our regrets
there's no redo

I don't know
mistakes like to follow us
stuffed inside a cloud
waiting fall again

collapse
I'm afraid
of

I'm so fearful of
this

right to wrong

feels the same

painting over the layers

I'm still under and below

people go through a pain
people then hold their hands
caring is often important in
friendship
but not in mine

no one holds my hand

I'm not sad

I just know
how to get my way around
being alone

how many lips have you kissed
that aren't mine

we spin in circles
a hundred times

bring me the poisoned fruit
I'll fall from the sky

take me to a place
I can look into your eyes

speak out my brain
I carry my heavy shame
I don't want you to think about me

you look pretty when you're happy
and I love it more when you're angry

how many hands have touched your skin

we circle around eachother

I can't reach the center

I've lived more than
365 days
so why does every year feel the same

I tell myself I should start to change
but I only become the same person again midway

It hurts
it brings pain

the same sun
the same wind

I want to see the sky fall
I want to breathe in the night's rain

I've lived for more than 24 hours
but I feel like it's only been an hour

Must we sleep so early
These holidays are never happy

I wonder if he thinks of me
like I do

my back is hurting
I don't know why
I turn around
why are you holding knives

my heart is hurting
why
when I tell you what's wrong
you turn around

I'm cold I know
You're cold
and I try

why don't say it to my face

why are you walking away

I'm not going to fight
even then
you turn over

you're no good
I've heard it over and over

my back is hurt
from all the times
you've stabbed me
you chose to betray me
in the most pathetic way

slowly
I'm bleeding
but I'll let you know

I'm not so cold
You're so cold
and I'm not going to try

here's your knife back

Blue house
blue face
didn't call me
didn't answer me
ask me questions
tell me what you think
blue sky
blue eyes
drive by
leaving at night
city lights
pick a house
you either love
us or them
blue smoke
blue stars
left alone
I was told
to follow
every rule
empty casket
where did you go
leaving me in this
empty house
underground
I can see nothing
waiting for you
to find me
waiting for your love
underwater
everything is blue

Crying can you hear
My face is wet and I'm hurt
but I love you too

tell me again
please remind me
what I'm good for

cold rain
cold face

cold heart
cold taste

I loved you
and I left

you colored me blue
the life you gave
you took away

you're my blue side

100 percent chance of rain
100 % chance of heartbreak

cold lover
cold water
cold kiss

If you despise me
go away

if you are disenchanted
look away

say I sin
call my love forbidden

love the sinner I am
I feel like a god
my veins
almost closing in

this love is all I need

maybe I'll leave soon
I know you want me too so
take a break I'm off

I love the big teddy bear you bought me
even though I'm too old for it

blooming in this cold winter
your still the prettiest flower

I think your the only human I love
I tried smiling in videos
so you would smile

I know you'll always grow
each season coming up

your the garden of Eden
in the form of human

she's 16
says there's something in the rain
tumbling down into the drain
I find her hidden dreams

she's sixteen
there's something in the way she says
feel the wind
calling out my name
I found her in the winter snow

she's sixteen
dead flowers are her favorite
she was only visiting

sweet child
don't speak
hideaway
death is in everything

everything is better here
the sky is darker and the stars are brighter
the rain is more nice
your alone time is good
people don't make fun of you
everything is better
now that i'm
*home

Blue lights

Will you ever fall for me

I'm changing
I've lost myself before

Will you look for my love

I'm growing up

I'm accepting things
I don't want to

It's peaceful
the moment you fall asleep

Worries disappear

A beautiful white dream


I'm dreaming

A dream of dreams that dreaming children have

No one knows the real you
like I do

I want to tell him

Why hide away

Smoke your cigarettes
in front of your mom

Drink with your dad

You have that mischievous smile
Always looking for trouble

No one knows you like I do

I don't want to say

You're not as innocent as they say

Pretty dress
pretty colored lips

No one knows
I don't even know you
most of the time

you can break my heart
if I can break yours

back to back
we don't see eye to eye

if God hates me
I hate him too

angel boy your wings are suffocating
I can't breathe

you can see inside
don't reach out

I can see you falling
will you ignore me now

find my soul
give it a home

we won't survive
the burden

your guilty conscious
is killing us all

Hot air blowing in
maybe I'll take off my socks
throw them in the rain
while I'm feeling pain
I miss you
you don't care
never call
listening to someone's voice
messaging someone that's not me
I feel like I can't be contained
happiness doesn't like me
I stay away
from everyone
that wants to touch me
don't come near me
I use to fly
so close to heaven
now the angels
ignore me
I'm not worth saving

I'll die if I change

You give me the keys to my cage
Telling me fly free
Cut off my own wings

Loved you through
A stained window
Where I could barely see you
The parts I saw
Made me fall in love

Put your favorite band on

Do I have to change
To prove myself sane

I hit the window
Few times a day
Left it tainted