none of my friends care about what I want to say
about what I have to say

now I'm overthinking
I don't want to be annoying

pushed away
or do I keep pulling

I'm kinda sick
but that doesn't matter

we don't ask eachother

are we doing okay
we're just standing around

waiting to see who makes the first sound


it kinda hurts

this is the best we can be

this is so so close


ask me what time I went to sleep


I saw you awake
hearing your favorite song

Follow me
follow me

I'll show you my dreams

I write
and say I can't feel

I write
when I'm empty
swimming in space

Follow me inside
the black hole
in my head


Feel the pressure within

I'm dying
to find out

Where this life goes

I even predicted my own death
for tomorrow

falling in and out of love
this is not real love
but I loved you simply because

I love my bed
I love your smile
and the scent of your perfume

We will fade

I know time moves past us
You will fade

Like clouds after a storm

And when the world sleeps

I will fade

Leaving me behind

I've never met anyone
walk by my side

We fade
into the smoke
of our pain

Dust in the wind
I can hear you go

I don't want it
I've sacrificed my life


I'm fading

As long as I see you smile
I'll be okay

They ask me if
I see the glass half empty
or half full

I see nothing at all

you say my name
when I'm not around

oversharing, overbearing
don't act like you're so special
you're like everyone else

she's so nice
it's suspicious

I don't want to hear it
you're not my friend

keep my name
out of your mouth

There's days
where I look outside a window
and feel like I have no talent at all

I begin to say words in my head
that swifty intertwine together
like pieces to a puzzle

I apologize for all the years wasted
looking at the ground
angry at the world

I'm looking higher
than the clouds now
Further than the stars

I see the whole universe

// What will you say now that I'm dead \

I killed myself
I'm lifeless
no one sees me
everyone is crying
yet I don't see their frowns
walk away
hurry up

I died
only to save me

I'm dead
I killed myself
where's all the love
I assumed they loved me

no one feels sorry
no one sees my bare body

my vacant eyes
drained of life

now I feel betrayed

six feet under

I felt tall
swimming in between
mountain valleys

Now I'm crossing over
smaller I grow

Doesn't really make sense no

I lost myself
yesterday afternoon

Who am I
today

My whole body disappeared

No one is coming

I saved myself this morning

I leave
It's raining
house is burning

You speak to me
say nothing

treat me like dirt
like I'm used

I leave
becoming the old me

Asking me what does this mean
house is burning
it's raining

Quiet mouse
crawling to her hole
she will say nothing yet

hiding away
I leave

Walls crumbling down

I'm the monster
runaway
I'm holding the knife

House burning down

I speak one word
You don't answer me  

I let out all my thoughts out

It's raining out
pouring down
****** rain
tears dried on my face

hey poetry
why do you follow me

obsessed with me
you take control

poetic dreams

I write everything I see

sometimes I see a lie

the truth is blind

hey poetry

why
are you so close to me

stop following me

let me breathe
find a moment to speak

you swallow so many pills
all for a goodnight sleep

do the ghosts
still keep you awake

the only words I can ever say
goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

never gave me the chance to say
good morning

you never do

it's late
why do we only talk
when you're running away

the only words I can say
you give me no chances

goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

do you have to go
to a different place
you're dimensions away

you're in my dreams
quiet mornings trying to forget

I'm grateful
to view the moon
and it's beauty
let its light touch my body

To see the sunset
the magical  
time of day
where the sun goes off
to shine other parts of the earth
see the sunrise
coming up again to
light up my day

I'm waiting for spring
to see the flowers bloom
the trees living
butterflies flying

I'm waiting to live again
be connected with everything around me

There are days
I want to kiss the wind

kiss kiss

I'm insane
you love me the same way
I use to love myself
back in the old days

I see your shadow
coming inside my room

I love you too

I love you too
even if all I do
is smell
smoke inside my room
because of you

I want to kiss the wind

marry a rose
live inside a red vase

You're beautiful
I'm insane

I love you too

oh satan I think I love you
love you more

started from the top
what are we doing at the bottom

still down
I don't think we'll find a way back

on repeat
duplicating the same problems
replicating our regrets
there's no redo

I don't know
mistakes like to follow us
stuffed inside a cloud
waiting fall again

collapse
I'm afraid
of

I'm so fearful of
this

right to wrong

feels the same

painting over the layers

I'm still under and below

It's bizarre
I fell too far
so close to the light
I wonder what's behind
to see the stars that don't shine so bright

mangos and apples
we screamed for hours
smiles from flowers
my legs are shaking
I can barely make it

I'll see you again
not today
I'll speak to you differently
I'll pretend

for now
I stay behind
let others be ahead
I want a deep breath

Blue lights

Will you ever fall for me

I'm changing
I've lost myself before

Will you look for my love

I'm growing up

I'm accepting things
I don't want to

It's peaceful
the moment you fall asleep

Worries disappear

A beautiful white dream


I'm dreaming

A dream of dreams that dreaming children have

I'm sad

the pain never ends for you and I

I wish I could look inside my heart
to know if I love you at all

any amount I can trace
to erase

deja todo
encima de mi

cargo todo el peso por ti

cuando quieres
cuando no
me voy a ir

deja me dormir
no tengo porque vivir así

espero ver el fin
te quiero dejar ir

te quiero
te quiero

estoy cansada
el sacrificio lo voy hacer

cruel world
love
you spilled out
your darkness
I can't hold
I soak it all up
feeling blue
down to my bones
you'll know
chain ourselves
to closed doors
don't ask me
why I love you
I don't want it
you caress my
broken veins
weaker
and I've
washed away
the last of my sanity
you'll know
catch my breath
steal my life
we love
love me sad
drink up
I'm leaving
where is
my
lost heaven

she's 16
says there's something in the rain
tumbling down into the drain
I find her hidden dreams

she's sixteen
there's something in the way she says
feel the wind
calling out my name
I found her in the winter snow

she's sixteen
dead flowers are her favorite
she was only visiting

sweet child
don't speak
hideaway
death is in everything

you make me go to sleep
I can't believe
I hate that you know
where I sleep
I want to tear away
the skin of my face
break my bones
I'm so wrong
to keep wanting
to let everything go
now everyone sees
what I see
It gets harder to breathe
my veins feel weaker
as I move
I don't speak my pain
so where does it go
the pit of my stomach
or the far end of my throat

asking myself
what do I live for
who do I live for

Blue house
blue face
didn't call me
didn't answer me
ask me questions
tell me what you think
blue sky
blue eyes
drive by
leaving at night
city lights
pick a house
you either love
us or them
blue smoke
blue stars
left alone
I was told
to follow
every rule
empty casket
where did you go
leaving me in this
empty house
underground
I can see nothing
waiting for you
to find me
waiting for your love
underwater
everything is blue

Crying can you hear
My face is wet and I'm hurt
but I love you too

I wish I had the heart to love you
the way you deserve to be loved
I can't comprehend

there's no ending
I reach into the void
no one ever reaches the abyss

I wish I had the brain to understand you
the way you deserve to be listened to
I can't love

living in the void
there's no beginning to this ending

It's to cold for you to be
Inside
So come inside

It's to
Dark to be walking
So hold my hand

It's a lonely world
For us to be apart

people go through a pain
people then hold their hands
caring is often important in
friendship
but not in mine

no one holds my hand

I'm not sad

I just know
how to get my way around
being alone

I believed
I could have you forever

I was asking for too much
I can't have that

I wanted to call you
in love

I wanted to say
I love you

too many bandaids
for all the cuts you left on my heart

I'm bleeding
all over again

missing you
missing you is the worst pain
I didn't want to experience


say you miss me too
say you love me too
say you think about me too

ease my mind
I haven't heard your voice in so long

How much I wish it was
Happiness that inspires
Me

I don't like to hear myself breathe
I don't know what to eat
can I die in my sleep
tired of living this reality
I don't want to breathe
how do I break free

everything hurts
nightmares start to feel so real

there's no one to call
I'm all alone

light flicking
all alone

it's so cold
in the dark

fading away
deep inside my mind

there's a space
I created
hell or heaven I can't tell the difference

cold rain
cold face

cold heart
cold taste

I loved you
and I left

you colored me blue
the life you gave
you took away

you're my blue side

100 percent chance of rain
100 % chance of heartbreak

cold lover
cold water
cold kiss

amusing
how I break myself off

tearing myself apart into
tiny pieces no one can find

why is everyone so emotional
I can't be sentimental

I feel nothing

I love the big teddy bear you bought me
even though I'm too old for it

blooming in this cold winter
your still the prettiest flower

I think your the only human I love
I tried smiling in videos
so you would smile

I know you'll always grow
each season coming up

your the garden of Eden
in the form of human

how many lips have you kissed
that aren't mine

we spin in circles
a hundred times

bring me the poisoned fruit
I'll fall from the sky

take me to a place
I can look into your eyes

speak out my brain
I carry my heavy shame
I don't want you to think about me

you look pretty when you're happy
and I love it more when you're angry

how many hands have touched your skin

we circle around eachother

I can't reach the center

Must we sleep so early
These holidays are never happy

my back is hurting
I don't know why
I turn around
why are you holding knives

my heart is hurting
why
when I tell you what's wrong
you turn around

I'm cold I know
You're cold
and I try

why don't say it to my face

why are you walking away

I'm not going to fight
even then
you turn over

you're no good
I've heard it over and over

my back is hurt
from all the times
you've stabbed me
you chose to betray me
in the most pathetic way

slowly
I'm bleeding
but I'll let you know

I'm not so cold
You're so cold
and I'm not going to try

here's your knife back

I wonder if he thinks of me
like I do

I've lived more than
365 days
so why does every year feel the same

I tell myself I should start to change
but I only become the same person again midway

It hurts
it brings pain

the same sun
the same wind

I want to see the sky fall
I want to breathe in the night's rain

I've lived for more than 24 hours
but I feel like it's only been an hour

tell me again
please remind me
what I'm good for

me sigues en mis sueños

me tocas el corazon

I'm okay

te quiero

si no me quieres

está bien

te veo en mis sueños

no dejas mi corazón