It's bizarre
I fell too far
so close to the light
I wonder what's behind
to see the stars that don't shine so bright

mangos and apples
we screamed for hours
smiles from flowers
my legs are shaking
I can barely make it

I'll see you again
not today
I'll speak to you differently
I'll pretend

for now
I stay behind
let others be ahead
I want a deep breath

Blue house
blue face
didn't call me
didn't answer me
ask me questions
tell me what you think
blue sky
blue eyes
drive by
leaving at night
city lights
pick a house
you either love
us or them
blue smoke
blue stars
left alone
I was told
to follow
every rule
empty casket
where did you go
leaving me in this
empty house
underground
I can see nothing
waiting for you
to find me
waiting for your love
underwater
everything is blue

I'm grateful
to view the moon
and it's beauty
let its light touch my body

To see the sunset
the magical  
time of day
where the sun goes off
to shine other parts of the earth
see the sunrise
coming up again to
light up my day

I'm waiting for spring
to see the flowers bloom
the trees living
butterflies flying

I'm waiting to live again
be connected with everything around me

Can't trust me or you
Because I am a liar

I love the big teddy bear you bought me
even though I'm too old for it

blooming in this cold winter
your still the prettiest flower

I think your the only human I love
I tried smiling in videos
so you would smile

I know you'll always grow
each season coming up

your the garden of Eden
in the form of human

I've lived more than
365 days
so why does every year feel the same

I tell myself I should start to change
but I only become the same person again midway

It hurts
it brings pain

the same sun
the same wind

I want to see the sky fall
I want to breathe in the night's rain

I've lived for more than 24 hours
but I feel like it's only been an hour

amusing
how I break myself off

tearing myself apart into
tiny pieces no one can find

why is everyone so emotional
I can't be sentimental

I feel nothing

I wish I had the heart to love you
the way you deserve to be loved
I can't comprehend

there's no ending
I reach into the void
no one ever reaches the abyss

I wish I had the brain to understand you
the way you deserve to be listened to
I can't love

living in the void
there's no beginning to this ending

There are days
I want to kiss the wind

kiss kiss

I'm insane
you love me the same way
I use to love myself
back in the old days

I see your shadow
coming inside my room

I love you too

I love you too
even if all I do
is smell
smoke inside my room
because of you

I want to kiss the wind

marry a rose
live inside a red vase

You're beautiful
I'm insane

I love you too

started from the top
what are we doing at the bottom

still down
I don't think we'll find a way back

on repeat
duplicating the same problems
replicating our regrets
there's no redo

I don't know
mistakes like to follow us
stuffed inside a cloud
waiting fall again

collapse
I'm afraid
of

I'm so fearful of
this

right to wrong

feels the same

painting over the layers

I'm still under and below

Hot air blowing in
maybe I'll take off my socks
throw them in the rain
while I'm feeling pain
I miss you
you don't care
never call
listening to someone's voice
messaging someone that's not me
I feel like I can't be contained
happiness doesn't like me
I stay away
from everyone
that wants to touch me
don't come near me
I use to fly
so close to heaven
now the angels
ignore me
I'm not worth saving

cruel world
love
you spilled out
your darkness
I can't hold
I soak it all up
feeling blue
down to my bones
you'll know
chain ourselves
to closed doors
don't ask me
why I love you
I don't want it
you caress my
broken veins
weaker
and I've
washed away
the last of my sanity
you'll know
catch my breath
steal my life
we love
love me sad
drink up
I'm leaving
where is
my
lost heaven

everything is better here
the sky is darker and the stars are brighter
the rain is more nice
your alone time is good
people don't make fun of you
everything is better
now that i'm
*home

I love my bed
I love your smile
and the scent of your perfume

We will fade

I know time moves past us
You will fade

Like clouds after a storm

And when the world sleeps

I will fade

Leaving me behind

I've never met anyone
walk by my side

We fade
into the smoke
of our pain

Dust in the wind
I can hear you go

I don't want it
I've sacrificed my life


I'm fading

As long as I see you smile
I'll be okay

No one knows the real you
like I do

I want to tell him

Why hide away

Smoke your cigarettes
in front of your mom

Drink with your dad

You have that mischievous smile
Always looking for trouble

No one knows you like I do

I don't want to say

You're not as innocent as they say

Pretty dress
pretty colored lips

No one knows
I don't even know you
most of the time

my hands
hurt

it's hot but negative zero
outside
I'll still turn the fan on

you don't want to say it
should I

I've been thinking
about saying everything

I want to scream it
out loud

you were my best friend
I was so happy in a world alone

you left me
there's nobody who will listen

you can throw the flowers out

you don't want to admit it
I'll ignore everything

my old best friend
I want to disappear but I don't want to let you go

it's going to hurt
if I leave

I'll stay for a while longer
just a little more suffering
a little more pain

to see my smile fade away

Must we sleep so early
These holidays are never happy

oh satan I think I love you
love you more

deja todo
encima de mi

cargo todo el peso por ti

cuando quieres
cuando no
me voy a ir

deja me dormir
no tengo porque vivir así

espero ver el fin
te quiero dejar ir

te quiero
te quiero

estoy cansada
el sacrificio lo voy hacer

how many lips have you kissed
that aren't mine

we spin in circles
a hundred times

bring me the poisoned fruit
I'll fall from the sky

take me to a place
I can look into your eyes

speak out my brain
I carry my heavy shame
I don't want you to think about me

you look pretty when you're happy
and I love it more when you're angry

how many hands have touched your skin

we circle around eachother

I can't reach the center

I'll die if I change

You give me the keys to my cage
Telling me fly free
Cut off my own wings

Loved you through
A stained window
Where I could barely see you
The parts I saw
Made me fall in love

Put your favorite band on

Do I have to change
To prove myself sane

I hit the window
Few times a day
Left it tainted

it's not all about me
                                //      it's all because of you

I wish I could look inside my heart
to know if I love you at all

any amount I can trace
to erase

I'm sad

the pain never ends for you and I

you took it
got it
and tossed it
to the trash
but was it worth
it ?
i lost i know
but what did you win!?
a broken heart
thats all
cause everything was
just a
love
game
to you
and i was
stupid to follow you in the dark

Blue lights

Will you ever fall for me

I'm changing
I've lost myself before

Will you look for my love

I'm growing up

I'm accepting things
I don't want to

It's peaceful
the moment you fall asleep

Worries disappear

A beautiful white dream


I'm dreaming

A dream of dreams that dreaming children have

people go through a pain
people then hold their hands
caring is often important in
friendship
but not in mine

no one holds my hand

I'm not sad

I just know
how to get my way around
being alone

you say my name
when I'm not around

oversharing, overbearing
don't act like you're so special
you're like everyone else

she's so nice
it's suspicious

I don't want to hear it
you're not my friend

keep my name
out of your mouth

Crying can you hear
My face is wet and I'm hurt
but I love you too

I wonder if he thinks of me
like I do

cold rain
cold face

cold heart
cold taste

I loved you
and I left

you colored me blue
the life you gave
you took away

you're my blue side

100 percent chance of rain
100 % chance of heartbreak

cold lover
cold water
cold kiss

I will be ok


Maybe if I read this a million times
I'll believe it

you swallow so many pills
all for a goodnight sleep

do the ghosts
still keep you awake

the only words I can ever say
goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

never gave me the chance to say
good morning

you never do

it's late
why do we only talk
when you're running away

the only words I can say
you give me no chances

goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

do you have to go
to a different place
you're dimensions away

you're in my dreams
quiet mornings trying to forget

none of my friends care about what I want to say
about what I have to say

now I'm overthinking
I don't want to be annoying

pushed away
or do I keep pulling

I'm kinda sick
but that doesn't matter

we don't ask eachother

are we doing okay
we're just standing around

waiting to see who makes the first sound


it kinda hurts

this is the best we can be

this is so so close


ask me what time I went to sleep


I saw you awake
hearing your favorite song

she's 16
says there's something in the rain
tumbling down into the drain
I find her hidden dreams

she's sixteen
there's something in the way she says
feel the wind
calling out my name
I found her in the winter snow

she's sixteen
dead flowers are her favorite
she was only visiting

sweet child
don't speak
hideaway
death is in everything

They ask me if
I see the glass half empty
or half full

I see nothing at all

I kissed my ears to sleep
I can hear the faint fall of rain
somewhere in my head

haven't you read
you should know what person I am
you should know my kind

it's not enough
to burn myself for you

it's not enough
to lose my mind and body

it's the missed details
all of the unseen marks

I can't wake up today
so close my door if you decide to stay

I'll hate myself again
when I realize I can only write in pain

here it starts
this is where it begins

from the top to the bottom
of a page

it's not enough
to be addicted

it's not enough
to lose my reality

when all I want to do
is sink further into
a suffocating abyss

this one is different than the rest
it's a different type of darkness

even if it hurts and kills me
just as the others did

Hey
Have you forgotten about me

// so soon

No
I won't let that happen

I'm never going to leave

When you don't want to hear from me

I'll be there
to
say something


Forget I exist
I'll see you next spring

the flowers bloom
in my presence

The trees are finally breathing

You can't forget me

I am the sun you wake up to
and the moon that disppears
when you want it to

Don't you just want to stay in that moment
Stop it and repeat it
over and over again
That smile that laugh
Will never come again
The happiness in your heart
Is just too perfect
Everything goes kinda slow
And you think
I want to live here
Right now
*forever

come change my mind

change my mind

tell me I'm wrong

twist my broken words
in the dark

fell asleep
where were you

not too long
before I give up too

I can't do this

change my mind

it's heavy
trying so hard

what do you want

tell me this isn't temporary

love

where do you go

Im thinking all day
A way to ruin your perfect face
    You know the maze
   Every corner every wall
Dont come
You have been staring behind my head
   Can't burn what's too frozen
  We're like convection currents
Sit close but seats away
Dont come again

And i waste my day figuring out a
Way to avoid you
  But you always find a way to make
Me smile

I've been hiding my face all day long
you know my name
you don't know it's mine

tiptoe
peeking through tall windows

I hope you haven't caught on

I'm all poison
shouldn't come closer

one day I'll be there
most of the time I'll hide