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280 · Feb 2019
Where did my age go
eileen Feb 2019
I'm so old
So old

In the way you think so

Old

Not in the way you think so

I'm so old

I can't hear
I don't remember
I'm dying
I can barely breathe
I'm weak

Where am I going
I'm without myself
280 · Dec 2015
realest
eileen Dec 2015
To even the
Blindest eyes
And
no sound to those
Who can't hear

Can actually see what's real
279 · Feb 2019
Man made
eileen Feb 2019
Money
Money rules the world
You can't tell me no
I'll pay you to say so

Money makes us weak
The more you have
the more humanity you need

It's only paper
It's only the answer to most problems

It doesn't bring me joy
It doesn't give me love
It doesn't make me sad

Money has all my attention
Money is my distraction

Money rules the people
You can't say no
eileen Dec 2018
ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ

ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗ

ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵐᵃᵏⁱⁿᵍ ʲᵒᵏᵉˢ
ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵃᵍᵃⁱⁿ

ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ

ᴵ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᶠʳᵉˢʰ ᵃⁱʳ

ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʰᵒˡᵉ ʷᵒʳˡᵈ
ᵇᵒᵗᵗˡᵉᵈ ᵘᵖ
ⁱⁿ ᵐʸ ᶜʰᵉˢᵗ

ⁱᶠ ᴵ ʰᵃᵈ
ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵘʳᵃᵍᵉ

ᴵ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ˡᵉᵗ ⁱᵗ ʳᵃⁱⁿ ᵈᵒʷⁿ
ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᵉ ᵃⁿ ᵒᶜᵉᵃⁿ

ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ

ᴵ'ᵐ ᶠᵉᵉˡⁱⁿᵍ ᵖʳᵉˢˢᵘʳᵉᵈ

ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ ᴵ ᶠᵉᵉˡ
ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᴵ'ˡˡ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ⁱᵗ

ᴵᵗ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ˡᵃˢᵗ

ˡᵉᵗ ᵐᵉ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ

ᴵ'ᵛᵉ ˡᵒˢᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᶠᵒʳᵐ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒᵐᵐᵘⁿⁱᶜᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ

ᵐʸ ᵉʸᵉˢ ᵐᵘˢᵗ ᵇᵉ ᵖⁱᵗᶜʰ ᵇˡᵃᶜᵏ

ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ
ˢᵉᵉ ᵐʸ ᵖᵃⁱⁿ

you forget the experience I have
with death

you forget
I've dealt
with inner demons

yₒᵤ cₐₙ'ₜ ₛₑₑ
ₘy ₚₐᵢₙ

ₙₒbₒdy ₐₛₖₑd ₘₑ ᵢf ᵢ'ₘ ₒₖₐy

【I'm so infuriated
I'm furious】

ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ
ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴍᴀᴅ
279 · Aug 2019
fences
eileen Aug 2019
are you awake
can I take a peek inside your head

wonder what you were thinking
how many days did you look at me
not knowing my name
how many days was I nameless in your eyes

maybe I hate that you're not mine

let's watch a movie
let's drink together
let's spin in circles until the moon falls

asking you the question of the day
why can't we be friends ?

screaming louder
why is she better ?
278 · Aug 2018
Koh the Face Stealer
eileen Aug 2018
I'd help you
You're not my friend

I'm known as no face
I have no name

I was almost called the wind
You never see me
Only hear or feel me

I'd love to get to know you
my brain makes up excuses
on why not to

You look so pretty
but I never have the guts
to compliment you

Now I'll be known for being shy
Ask me whatever you want
and I'll reply

I once had a face
They took it away

I'm starting to forget
Who I really am
278 · Aug 2018
Karma
eileen Aug 2018
I'm a liar
A person you call a friend

Please love me
so it can be okay

I'm tired and
You hear nothing I say

Please tell everything will be okay


I have missed calls
unread messages

I have no explanations


I leave

I leave my friends alone

I'm still learning to let go

I have it coming

Tell me when I'm falling
278 · May 2018
In the wind
eileen May 2018
would ask you about myself
you wouldn't know how to answer

I would ask myself
I don't have the answers

my reflection has left the mirror

my shadow is missing

feels like I'm a ghost

it's getting too cold

how have you been
is this it
I should be able to ask you a simple question

I haven't really told nobody

I have a fake laugh
I don't know where to find the real one

no one knows
I live for the rain
the sun
and the clouds

I'm obsessed with the moon
I talk to the stars

I sleep with the lights on

I'm raining on myself
I'm so sad

I want to ask you
who do you think I am

yet I've never revealed myself
to anyone

I'll ask the moon
I'll ask the stars
I'll tell the sun
277 · Jul 2018
Nobody knows What I See
eileen Jul 2018
Writing about the stars
I haven't seen the night sky in days

I realize I could be talking of
Mars
Jupiter
and Venus

Please wait
let me turn the lights off

Stay with me


I'm trying
sleep never comes

I never notice my eyes fall shut

I don't notice the sun is up

Stay beside me

things moving in the dark

Fall asleep with me
till my eyes see through the shadows

and the stars turn hollow
277 · Feb 2019
sailing off somewhere
eileen Feb 2019
I know
I promised
I didn't
but I'll
try again
10w
277 · Aug 2019
bad love
eileen Aug 2019
how many days have I loved you

how many hours can I forget you

not long

I sleep
you appear
in the corner of my mind

I wake up
you appear
on the corner of my bed

how many times will I convince myself you'll stay

why don't we talk together
why can't we walk together
why can't we love together
276 · Oct 2018
my mistake
eileen Oct 2018
All I do is hide
waiting for you
hoping you'll find me
but I've disappeared
276 · Apr 2019
marionette
eileen Apr 2019
Am I
your doll?

Do you think
you can drag me anywhere you want

drop me
wherever you like

every time
I break

you expect to see me in perfect conditions

Am I
your doll?
276 · Jun 2015
envy
eileen Jun 2015
I wish I was you
You wish you were me
When will we ever be happy
Always wanting something
Out of our reach
We do not have
Powers
Be yourself
even if you got envy
for someone else's
pretty skin
275 · Aug 2018
10 minutes
eileen Aug 2018
I think I'm over you
Don't think about you as often as I used to

I've moved on
a rainbow appear
I know I will be fine

I hope you love me just a little
And think of me in the afternoon's
275 · Mar 2019
persuasive
eileen Mar 2019
Being positive doesn't help
because you are depressed and suicidal
no one listens
every time you try and speak
your tongue
curls up
it swims down
your stomach
lays there
till you fall asleep
it comes back to you in a dream
275 · Sep 2018
His writings
eileen Sep 2018
I love a boy who doesn't love me back

I have a friend
Who I never talk to anymore

I went to sleep dreaming
he would see me the way I see him

I never respond to my
Friends messages

It started with wanting to know his name

Wanted to be his friend

I wanted him to talk to me
and ask me things
I would only tell him

My friend
she waits for me
I have forgotten
She was my everything

Before him
before a rose

I feel like a pressed flower
inside a book

One he'll forget about
275 · Oct 2018
7 km away
eileen Oct 2018
I think I found love
within the letters you type

forming words
I've read a thousand times

suddenly they feel so different

I'm trying to know

I'm confused
keeping a distance

no goodnight kiss
no good morning message

promise
me a
goodbye

I think I've fallen
into a toxic puddle
of unknown chemicals

my mistake

It's my mistake
275 · Aug 2018
Killing it
eileen Aug 2018
Roses are red
Violets aren't blue

The one I love isn't you

I've been looking for someone else
I'm so tired of your heart
Clinging onto mine

Bring me down
We lay in the dark

Let's
let this go
aren't you horrified
my eyes wet
You love how my sadness
waters your insecurities

There is love everywhere
I must learn to find it in the wind

In a cloud
A word
In a  laugh

I'll keep on loving something else

Violets aren't blue
I wish you knew
274 · Apr 2019
Buzzing
eileen Apr 2019
a quiet night
I feel it
Can't hear it
soundless
274 · Sep 2017
Should've not
eileen Sep 2017
He said meet me outside
Wearing a disguise
Knew it was  a trap
Should've stayed inside
Next time i won't reply back
Don't let them ******* over
Take all that wasted power
Swore she had neon eyes
And grey skin
Just my imagination

She said to stay inside
Should've ran
While i had it
Now I'm answering to
Everything
Swore he was
A second sun
So blinding

Falling for every one
274 · Sep 2018
no more
eileen Sep 2018
In this storm
I realize
Lightning flashes are to fast
My eyes can't ever catch the light
I felt the thunder rumble inside my chest
It wasn't raining anymore
But I could still hear it falling
We don't feel the rain too often
We don't hear the sound close
The wind is blowing in my face
Lightning lights up the room
It almost feels like
The end of the world soon

In this storm I realize
I feel so safe

all around me
is a blue house
blue room
blue reflections
of myself
everything
I needed
is for you to take
I feel so safe
knowing it's
all going to end
I know you're cold
you're the ice
never did I see your face
warm
how many times
did I imagine
that your frozen
heart
was mine
Every word
you spoke
was only to burn me down

In this storm
I need to go
eileen Nov 2018
Why must I love you

Why must you hurt me
10W
273 · May 2015
beautiful
eileen May 2015
Were all mistakes
I am one


But we are all
beautiful mistakes
living
273 · Oct 2021
sleep alone
eileen Oct 2021
I don't want to wake up alone
for the rest of my life

if someone could hold me

there's things I want to say
will you listen

will anyone listen

my hands and feet are cold
open me up
I want you to see my bones

sadly I just wanted to be your friend
nothing more
but we are less

I wish I wish
all my wishes would come true

I could have you
you can have me too
273 · May 2019
we always end
eileen May 2019
ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ʟᴏᴛs ᴏf ᴛʜɪɴɢs / ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀ ʙᴇɢɪɴɴɪɴɢ
272 · Apr 2019
unnamed road
eileen Apr 2019
asleep I'm so numb
unfolded rosebud
love
no eyes passing by

I die
when I fall asleep
wake me up inside a dream
272 · Jun 2020
what's your favorite color
eileen Jun 2020
I'm feeling crazy
I miss you
where have you been

dear my friend
I think I'm feeling some way
I think I'm avoiding it
I swallow the feelings down

but
the butterflies I keep coughing up
they keep coming out

I don't feel safe
dear my friend
I hate you
this is all my fault
why do I love you so much
when did I love you this much

where are you now
are you okay
tell me is there anything you can say
I feel worse when you don't

I just want to sleep
I want to dream of you in my arms

dear my friend
this is my fault
don't ever come back
272 · Mar 2016
Meaningless
eileen Mar 2016
I have your back
Even though you judge me
Lightning fast

I don't laugh at
Your jokes
So you will look
Ridiculous

I will pay Our
Ice cream even though
You shouldn't have any

I will hug you
With my eyes
Wide open

And hate you tomorrow
Morning

We are always
Something
To
Nothing
271 · Feb 2019
6:41
eileen Feb 2019
Magical moment
I don't know why
the sun rise
10w
271 · Dec 2017
g/h/i/
eileen Dec 2017
You're the seventh sense
behind my own head its fine
wonder if you try
Haiku
271 · Jul 2018
7
eileen Jul 2018
7
en la luna

no veo nada

los momentos que estuvimos juntos

en el espacio que nunca tocaré

y ahora me arrepiento

porque no estoy contigo

necesito una eternidad
para pensar
lo que hice mal
270 · Oct 2019
leave the moon alone
eileen Oct 2019
everyone

everyone

everyone lives on the moon

everyone dreams on the moon

everyone loves the name moon

everyone talks to the moon

field trips to the moon

everyone wants the moon

everyone loves the moon

everyone waits for the moon

everyone looks for the moon

everyone

everyone
270 · Aug 2019
despairing
eileen Aug 2019
**** me
my life is a mess

a little depressed
more or less
I wish I was dead

no one knows
continue on

after you read this
walk away
fall asleep

this feeling doesn't matter
269 · Feb 2021
888
eileen Feb 2021
888
I just want to cry in the rain
I'd like to scream out loud to drown the pain

it hurts me a little
to accept the feelings
of missing you

last summer
I wanted to die everyday

I'm so happy
I don't feel that way anymore

my sadness is everlasting
I love the way it settles into my heart

happiness is beautiful
I've seen myself smile once

love to me
is unknown

looking for teardrop
I can't find it

I know a secret
I can tell

every moment is forever
there is no time to escape
we are born now
and we die here
269 · Apr 2019
Am I wrong
eileen Apr 2019
Offline
You must like it
now I'm gone

Come
say goodbye

I wish I could love myself
I need to hold my hand before anyone else

Mama behave
you treat me like a friend
I never learned to stay still

My thoughts run into the streets
crashing between bodies and cars

Offline
Give me my common sense
I can't live without the internet
don't say
don't tell my friends

Hey mama
I don't love you like one
You must hate me now
I'm gone


I don't say goodbye

Why don't you ever hold my hand
Hey
Hey

Don't you know
can't you think

Notice
I've been feeling offline

Turn me off
I can't wake up
I don't see the sun
the stars don't sparkle

You painted me into a frame
I can't come out of
268 · Oct 2018
other girl
eileen Oct 2018
do you ever feel
I don't want to remember
so lonely, I will
268 · Jul 2019
she's moving away
eileen Jul 2019
the moon doesn't love me
she says
she needs money
doesn't buy me flowers on sundays
gets angry and quiet
sleeps early
without a goodnight kiss

the moon doesn't love me anymore
her kisses are cold
she makes me feel like a chore
wakes up
no warm good morning

a lonely walk to nowhere
she's constantly phasing
Love isn't easy
I think she loves heartbreak
268 · Jun 2015
angels
eileen Jun 2015
darkness
just one light
so bright
wings on my sight
so white
that smile...
i got up
and it ran
i chased it
i tried
next night
the same story
is read
want to know the end
it was an angel
afraid of
a human
268 · Aug 2018
no sleep
eileen Aug 2018
Should I remind you
I'm a broken mess
can't be fixed

All I want to do is go
I won't sleep
No goodnight for you

Please stop crying
don't ever worry

We all want understanding
what about empathy

Where's the love

I'm not the type
to open my heart

I only open it
to myself

Full moon soon
endings comfort me
267 · Feb 2019
2 years ago
eileen Feb 2019
Hey
It's me
Can you believe
I still miss you

I'm not the same
who I used to be
when I laughed with you

Don't you remember
Please don't forget

The sun hates me
so I  hide inside all day

Please remember
Don't you forget

The clouds hate me
so I stay in bed

I wish I knew
how to find life
find love
find someone alone

You still make me feel so small
I'm not that little girl anymore
266 · Aug 2018
glue
eileen Aug 2018
he wants to rewind

whisper into a wall

she wants to rewind

count all the stars before she dies

I want to rewind

miss my old bed

can't undo all the mistakes
nothing I can change
266 · Jun 2018
Together
eileen Jun 2018
Feels like I'll love you forever
266 · May 2019
If I had more time
eileen May 2019
waiting for the bus
the bus I can't get on
the bus I dream of

I think she's inside
I'm waiting to sit down

I'll say good morning now
I'll say have a good day
I promise

I'll lean my head against the window and listen to music like I used to

that wasn't too long ago
maybe a decade
or a century
when I waited outside in the rain
the hot sun pouring down
mosquitoes eating up my legs

waiting for the bus
I wish I could step on
        one more time
take me home
I know you will
266 · Sep 2018
Spirited
eileen Sep 2018
Lovely dream

Weird feelings

I never saw you face to face
I've only met you in my dreams

I saw your face so clearly

Freckles
a soft red blush
across your cheeks

I thought
you were real

So I reached foward

\

It's 6 AM
My alarm is ringing

/

I can't wait to see you again

soon
266 · Feb 2019
waking me up
eileen Feb 2019
It's always all about me //
                                         It's never because of you
10w
265 · Jul 2018
Clues
eileen Jul 2018
Send me hope
And dead roses

Wake me up when the sun is rising
and never let me sleep alone

We use to be static sounds
I'm so happy we came around

All I heard was white noise
draining down the plastic feeling

Told me you knew how I was feeling

I want to be your friend first
I want to hear your truth
Melt away the lies

I'll give you love letters
and a smile

I'll give you my head for a while
264 · Aug 2019
times of clouds
eileen Aug 2019
I'm living my mistakes

no one knows the cost
I threw away all my second chances

doors closed
I think I'm forever trapped inside

rest in peace
my last piece of sanity
jumped out the window

sleepless soul
I'll never leave this house

I'm living my regrets

no one knows the rest
walking backwards into my grave

sleepless so
264 · Dec 2015
shh
eileen Dec 2015
shh
Con esta canción
Me voy

Con estas letras
Yo me tiro

Ala mejor
Con oír tanto
Cambió

Y me ago
La falsa
Creo
Que con eso tengo
Por mientras
264 · Dec 2019
let me out
eileen Dec 2019
line's I can't erase
sleep on it
tomorrow is your day

I know what you're up to
I have to disappoint you
there's a way for me to move on

If it wasn't so hard to love you
we could cross this plane
I tried holding you close

let me in
all I needed was you
take the key

don't lock me inside
I won't be sorry if you leave
I won't be sorry when I go

you'll never have my heart
until you let me go
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