how many days have I loved you

how many hours can I forget you

not long

I sleep
you appear
in the corner of my mind

I wake up
you appear
on the corner of my bed

how many times will I convince myself you'll stay

why don't we talk together
why can't we walk together
why can't we love together

you make me go to sleep
I can't believe
I hate that you know
where I sleep
I want to tear away
the skin of my face
break my bones
I'm so wrong
to keep wanting
to let everything go
now everyone sees
what I see
It gets harder to breathe
my veins feel weaker
as I move
I don't speak my pain
so where does it go
the pit of my stomach
or the far end of my throat

asking myself
what do I live for
who do I live for

you can't have me
you can't ever be mine

you're in my head
you're in my daydreams

I know I don't cross your mind
you're in all my thoughts

are you so numb
you can't feel my love

trying to separate
not too close

I don't want to get hurt

are you scared I'll break your heart
give me a chance

I'll prove myself

don't make me confused

I don't want to wait forever

Hey
It's me
Can you believe
I still miss you

I'm not the same
who I used to be
when I laughed with you

Don't you remember
Please don't forget

The sun hates me
so I  hide inside all day

Please remember
Don't you forget

The clouds hate me
so I stay in bed

I wish I knew
how to find life
find love
find someone alone

You still make me feel so small
I'm not that little girl anymore

clementine she's like me
he pinches my cheeks I pout
still not over you

thinking of the days
why did you leave far away
he thinks just like me

daydreaming beside you
where everyone knows my name
they will stay with me

It's a new day
Doesn't change who i am

Or all the songs I've been listening
To

Everyone has woken up
And they still look the same

We prepare for a change
Instead of taking action

Hoping tomorrow never happens

I got a palace in me
A palace of memories
In the center of my heart
Telling me I'm their queen
They're bowing down
Telling me i should go back
I don't know how
And they talk about sacrifice

I'm getting confused
All my administrators
Tell me I'm fine

I should hurry up
Before it's too late
The memories can sometimes
Fade away
Moving on

I wanted to carry on

falling in and out of love
this is not real love
but I loved you simply because

It's still cold
Fingers going numb
Maybe my heart too
Flowers aren't blooming
Trees aren't growing
It's snowing

Sun down
Hide out

I'm freezing
Walking around

I'm a liar
A person you call a friend

Please love me
so it can be okay

I'm tired and
You hear nothing I say

Please tell everything will be okay


I have missed calls
unread messages

I have no explanations


I leave

I leave my friends alone

I'm still learning to let go

I have it coming

Tell me when I'm falling

Follow me
follow me

I'll show you my dreams

I write
and say I can't feel

I write
when I'm empty
swimming in space

Follow me inside
the black hole
in my head


Feel the pressure within

I'm dying
to find out

Where this life goes

I even predicted my own death
for tomorrow

I just want to cry in the rain
I'd like to scream out loud to drown the pain

it hurts me a little
to accept the feelings
of missing you

last summer
I wanted to die everyday

I'm so happy
I don't feel that way anymore

my sadness is everlasting
I love the way it settles into my heart

happiness is beautiful
I've seen myself smile once

love to me
is unknown

looking for teardrop
I can't find it

I know a secret
I can tell

every moment is forever
there is no time to escape
we are born now
and we die here

she tells me her secrets
I tell her mine

she wants me
she wants me

I'm not who she thinks I am

someone else
can love her better

wishing stars
afraid of heights

she's the perfect dream
I don't want to wake up now

I want her
but not like this

I love the big teddy bear you bought me
even though I'm too old for it

blooming in this cold winter
your still the prettiest flower

I think your the only human I love
I tried smiling in videos
so you would smile

I know you'll always grow
each season coming up

your the garden of Eden
in the form of human

It's to cold for you to be
Inside
So come inside

It's to
Dark to be walking
So hold my hand

It's a lonely world
For us to be apart

Blue house
blue face
didn't call me
didn't answer me
ask me questions
tell me what you think
blue sky
blue eyes
drive by
leaving at night
city lights
pick a house
you either love
us or them
blue smoke
blue stars
left alone
I was told
to follow
every rule
empty casket
where did you go
leaving me in this
empty house
underground
I can see nothing
waiting for you
to find me
waiting for your love
underwater
everything is blue

you painted a starry sky
on your nails
and the reflection in your eyes
says everything you hide

not sure what to do
I wish I could be with you

be well
sometimes listening to your heart
can break you apart

and if you think it's love
it may not feel like love

open your sad eyes

the world is waiting for you

line's I can't erase
sleep on it
tomorrow is your day

I know what you're up to
I have to disappoint you
there's a way for me to move on

If it wasn't so hard to love you
we could cross this plane
I tried holding you close

let me in
all I needed was you
take the key

don't lock me inside
I won't be sorry if you leave
I won't be sorry when I go

you'll never have my heart
until you let me go

Can we be friends
Can't we just talk

So many clouds
no rain at all

I haven't seen the sun in days

My heart feels like plastic
I hate summer
I don't want it to end

She's angry
She's still talking happy

Asking about your plants
yes their still alive
I look over them
time to time

I hear the rain
miles away

I carry the wind
whispering inside

Run away
I'm not going to fight

Can we be friends

terrified
Of
opening my heart to you

Something might go wrong

It always does

trying to get closer to you

I'm waiting for the rain

I see the clouds

Not one
single drop
has fallen

I've lived more than
365 days
so why does every year feel the same

I tell myself I should start to change
but I only become the same person again midway

It hurts
it brings pain

the same sun
the same wind

I want to see the sky fall
I want to breathe in the night's rain

I've lived for more than 24 hours
but I feel like it's only been an hour

I'm falling asleep
I love it
I love this

my dreams feel like I'm living another life
I'm inside different worlds
parallel universe

I love it
help me fall asleep

let me breathe

I just want to live inside these dreams

is it time to go
I felt like an unknown guest
mourning with the clouds

everything is better here
the sky is darker and the stars are brighter
the rain is more nice
your alone time is good
people don't make fun of you
everything is better
now that i'm
*home

How much I wish it was
Happiness that inspires
Me

No one knows the real you
like I do

I want to tell him

Why hide away

Smoke your cigarettes
in front of your mom

Drink with your dad

You have that mischievous smile
Always looking for trouble

No one knows you like I do

I don't want to say

You're not as innocent as they say

Pretty dress
pretty colored lips

No one knows
I don't even know you
most of the time

Hot air blowing in
maybe I'll take off my socks
throw them in the rain
while I'm feeling pain
I miss you
you don't care
never call
listening to someone's voice
messaging someone that's not me
I feel like I can't be contained
happiness doesn't like me
I stay away
from everyone
that wants to touch me
don't come near me
I use to fly
so close to heaven
now the angels
ignore me
I'm not worth saving

It's been a sentimental month
filled with sweat, tears, and fake smiles
Impulsive actions
sleeping early in the morning
Sixteen years have gone by
She's getting sentimental again
this month has been a raging storm
much like the one in Jupiter

Sixteen years have passed
She's sentimental

City walks
under the street lights
uneasy
quiet feelings

driving in the rain
waiting to get there

///////////the/////////////////////////////////////////////
///////sun//////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////will//////////////////////////rise/////////////
///////in///////////delight///////////////////////////////

I know the world is inside a dark time
the moon lies silent
the sun isn't singing

There will come a time
soon
We'll have a moment of peace

The earth will take a deep breath

The moon will start dancing
and the sun will sing its lullaby

is this how we drift away

again
here we go again

will we lose each other
again
and again

how many times do I have reach out

we're slipping away

they're pulling away

we're making other friends
everyone is moving on

I can't find the words to make them stay anymore

can we make this work

amusing
how I break myself off

tearing myself apart into
tiny pieces no one can find

why is everyone so emotional
I can't be sentimental

I feel nothing

I'm grateful
to view the moon
and it's beauty
let its light touch my body

To see the sunset
the magical  
time of day
where the sun goes off
to shine other parts of the earth
see the sunrise
coming up again to
light up my day

I'm waiting for spring
to see the flowers bloom
the trees living
butterflies flying

I'm waiting to live again
be connected with everything around me

you took it
got it
and tossed it
to the trash
but was it worth
it ?
i lost i know
but what did you win!?
a broken heart
thats all
cause everything was
just a
love
game
to you
and i was
stupid to follow you in the dark

Can't trust me or you
Because I am a liar

Must we sleep so early
These holidays are never happy

how are you
how are you

are you okay
are you okay

i miss you right now

repeating things in my head
where did it all go wrong

i'm so forgettable
everyone throws me away

i wish we never met
but im happy we did

im a bad friend
i only know
once they hate me

I've got a big heart
why does it feel empty

why am I not loving
why am I not loved

am I unlovable?
I feel so lovesick for a stranger

it hurts to
loveless

love
is it worth it?

love
can't find it

love
I'm in misery

forgive me
all the ways you love me
I can't accept

I fail to realize
you can't love the same way I do

keep a lock on my heart
I don't want to be heartbroken

hey poetry
why do you follow me

obsessed with me
you take control

poetic dreams

I write everything I see

sometimes I see a lie

the truth is blind

hey poetry

why
are you so close to me

stop following me

let me breathe
find a moment to speak

cruel world
love
you spilled out
your darkness
I can't hold
I soak it all up
feeling blue
down to my bones
you'll know
chain ourselves
to closed doors
don't ask me
why I love you
I don't want it
you caress my
broken veins
weaker
and I've
washed away
the last of my sanity
you'll know
catch my breath
steal my life
we love
love me sad
drink up
I'm leaving
where is
my
lost heaven

en la luna

no veo nada

los momentos que estuvimos juntos

en el espacio que nunca tocaré

y ahora me arrepiento

porque no estoy contigo

necesito una eternidad
para pensar
lo que hice mal

It's bizarre
I fell too far
so close to the light
I wonder what's behind
to see the stars that don't shine so bright

mangos and apples
we screamed for hours
smiles from flowers
my legs are shaking
I can barely make it

I'll see you again
not today
I'll speak to you differently
I'll pretend

for now
I stay behind
let others be ahead
I want a deep breath

You want to leave
let's fight
let's talk
things over

I don't want to play your games no more
I can't get any help
I'm going in circles
someone help

let's fight
talk things over
play nice
start the game
I never win

I don't want to play this game no more
can someone help

can I get any more
lonely

why don't you talk to me

are you always pretending

somebody help me

Lovely dream

Weird feelings

I never saw you face to face
I've only met you in my dreams

I saw your face so clearly

Freckles
a soft red blush
across your cheeks

I thought
you were real

So I reached foward

\

It's 6 AM
My alarm is ringing

/

I can't wait to see you again

soon

all I ever said
was for you
for you
all for you
everything for you

never did I think
and me?
and for myself?
nothing
I have nothing now

the moon doesn't love me
she says
she needs money
doesn't buy me flowers on sundays
gets angry and quiet
sleeps early
without a goodnight kiss

the moon doesn't love me anymore
her kisses are cold
she makes me feel like a chore
wakes up
no warm good morning

a lonely walk to nowhere
she's constantly phasing
Love isn't easy
I think she loves heartbreak