where do I go
slipping away

have I slept this way
so many days
I've gone insane

I'm waking up again
this doesn't feel right
walking out
how big is this cage

I'm chained
prisoner to my head

I can't escape
no one sees me anymore

invisible
I can feel the darkness spreading

I recognize this darkness
unforgettable

it covers me
in my sleep

I never see it coming
have I reached the bottom

It will be hard to miss you

now you're resting
six feet underground

I'm wondering who will water the plants you left
I wonder who will care for the strays
no one has your compassion
your love and patience

is it harder to not cry
or sob for a dead loved one

I'll miss you
too much for my own good

every day won't be the same
I just want to be with you again

how does time fall

last year
time hugged you like a blanket

how does a smile fall

your spirit was so bright

I would've chased after voice
if I knew you'd lose it

I would've given you my bones
if I'd known you'd lose your strength

your heart so heavy
all the love it carried

you will be missed
collect all the tears
today everyone will cry

you will be missed
rest well

let's meet someday again

where do lost books go
you made me lose it all

where do lost souls go
I can't feeling anything anymore

I'm waiting for a day
I can find my heart again

I'm listening along
it feels like I'm there
can I go back

it feels like it's pouring outside
far away
it might

waiting for the end
I see you there
somewhere downstairs

I missed you for a second
I remember the pain
I think I'll be okay

if I never see you again

for you I am good

and I am the worst

I'm loving the way
I destroy myself

I'm loving the way
I can't breathe

I don't talk in my sleep
I wake up in the middle of the night

I know he hides
somewhere in the corner of my eye

I'm loving the feeling
I'll torture myself knowing it hurts you too

I'm in love with the feeling
heartless heart

I don't know why
I can see the devil standing by my side

he says it's right
I should be greedy

take advantage of all the good things
I don't talk in my sleep

I know it's wrong
even if I love it

I'm afraid
you're falling for me

you don't know what true love is


you like the feeling of falling
spinning in circles till you're convinced
you are in love with the feeling

don't be shy
tell me now

let's be best friends
let's hate the world
it's them against us

just lean your head on my shoulder
you're warmer
I'm colder

I couldn't be more in love

If this is the feeling
I don't want to ruin it

what will you say
under an april sky
the showers dim down my lies

what can I do
there's no changing
I can't fix this

let me hope
hope it rains again

what can I say
I'm still the same
without a change of heart
just sad in self-pity

are you going to leave me
you're alone again

you want me to take the blame

I'll sit all night on the phone
you know I will

I'll answer your call in the morning
will you forget these conversations

I still want to be your world
I'd follow you

I know
I can be replaced

if I close my eyes
I can hear your voice a little longer

these nights
complete me

can they last a little longer

what will I do once you leave
I don't love you

still
still

I hope to see you

how long has it been

you're leaving me

will I be able to walk alone
without wondering if you're close

will you forget our short lived memories
can I burn off your picture and watch the ashes crumble in the wind

I hope

even if we're far away

even if you forget my name

even if you don't recognize my face

can I stay in your memories

can I visit your dreams

sometimes

just for a while

I hope I can stay

remember this exact day years ago

I hope

you will keep that memory

I hate advice

I'll happily fix your life

giving everyone the love

no one gives to me

I will take care of you

I can't take care of myself

tell me what's wrong

how can I fix it

I'm so broken

I'm running away from my reflection

I'm so lost

I'll help you find the solution

I worry about you

I worry about everyone but myself

my legs burn

running to you

I'll hurt

no matter
how I close my eyes

I can't imagine
heaven

I want to imagine
myself inside that blue house

I hope it gets repainted
the blue fades away every year

I'm still waiting to live there again
won't it be mine someday

don't lie to me
not about this

tell me
will it be mine someday

I'm waiting to live again
waiting to go there
find myself again

pretty face

so sad

I can see your soul

it's such a pity

I thought of you differently

now I know the kind of person you are

your soul is the sound of death

swinging high
older than yesterday

I can tell you how to survive
no one follows their path

swing higher
what have I lost today

keeping all my thoughts contained
trying to stay sane

if I touch my face
stay away

my brain doesn't process it
nothing

what has the world come to

in this deadly night
a cold covers the walls

I wasn't born tall
I lost my heart

it's april
why do I feel like I'm walking through the winter rain

all this pain
I can smell my own death

it's not a good day
it's been rough these past months
all together this year will be unforgettable

I'm so desperate to hold your hand
I'm dying to be held in your arms

how can I convince myself
I'll survive one more week

we've come to meet our weakness
come to embrace it

losing our minds

I felt myself go back in time
tonight

the silence is so loud
I traveled back to december

I want to stay there

in all this suffering
in this quiet
silence

don't forget we're so small
looking out to the sky
the moon towers me

I know they're out there
looking down on me
I'm feeling like nothing

if we dressed in black
share a cigarette

keeping all your secrets in the trash

I tried walking faster
you pretend you're strong

how are you still standing
don't make comments

do you get tired of eye rolls
I've done more than you

if we're opposites
why do we go the same direction

if we got into trouble
you don't have to go home alone

I'll never let you know
I love you
so stupid but I do

some days
I forget all about the rain

under a heavy cloudy sky
we don't meet anymore
we only pass by

all this sadness
will it grow into a flower
I'm choking on the weeds
growing in my veins

some days
you're stuck in my brain
you're all I think about
every sound
every object

walking in the rain
alone again

did you ever hear me at all
have you forgotten I'm here

I'm in the rain

it's okay
I'll do okay

remembering the way we exist

now I'm alone
it's what I wanted

why does it feel colder
why does the light shine brighter

you can come and turn the music louder
what's so funny
am I boring

keep me distracted
I don't want to go back upstairs

don't leave me alone
even if I ask for you to leave

I'm sorry
I'm the reason everyone leaves

no one is reaching out to me
I can't find the strength

I can't find the moment to say
hello

I know you boy
you like
the perfect rose
the color red
I bleed blue
I cut too deep

I know you
you want simple
traditional
you like the old ways
I'm sorry I can't sit straight
I always look ahead
I stare for too long
I see you melt

I know I scare you away
I know I keep you interested
chasing me
I play a calculated game of hide and seek
I didn't notice you walking in the dark
scared I would lose

I know your type
polar opposites
so different

I water down the roses
I color myself pink

I water myself down
it's the way you'll love me
only if I'm weak

blank faces
I still remember yours

your face in the dark
my pupils dilate

all the faces
I still want to see

don't turn away
I want to always remember yours

all these faces
none compare to mine

do you think it's good to forget our names too soon

faces
am I just a face
a stranger out of place

don't forget my name

why do all our encounters
fade away like a dream

I've been a bad person

I don't follow the instructions

you told me we were special

quickly I threw the idea out of my head

I'm a bad friend

you don't have to paint me good

I feel heavy with the lies

strong ties

never stopped for an update

walking without you

climbing high I realized

I was so low

I'm a bad person too

you don't have to paint me good

I feel blue

so warm and cool

don't cover up the truth

don't try and make it better

I'm trying to say goodbye without saying it

it's so hard to cut you off

when you sit me on a throne

don't paint me

let me erase myself

better

hate me

don't love me for what I'm not

a strange face
offered me if I wanted to leave

do I want to go back
or see what's ahead

I want to go back
to the day you smiled by my side
I want to see ahead
if we'll live another day the same

I felt great pain years ago
I don't want to live the future if I'm not with you

stranger with the time machine
just go without me

I still want you
even if we don't talk anymore

I think I'm in love

so easily I fell

you don't even have to try

I miss you

I want to meet you soon

my veins are green again

I hate that you're always talking to her

I'm right here

I'm a fool to be jealous

I hate knowing you're mad at me

I hate knowing it's all my fault

I think I like you a little too much

so easily I fell

what did you do

I can't stop thinking about you

if I can't have you
I don't want to know you at all

I want to forget your name
I never want to see your face

I'm disappointed in myself
where did I go wrong

are we not compatible

I fell so fast

unknowingly

you fell asleep

I wish you could feel the way I'm feeling

I hate how much I miss you

I wish I could hate you

I hate myself for losing you

I want to love everything you love

I'll like it
I got this

if you ever want to chat
if you ever want to do something

I'll be waiting

come back to me
I'm waiting

I miss you
I hate this

where did we go
lost down the path

what if
I made you miss me so much
would you come back

thinking of everything

can we go back to day one
you made me

if you ever want to come back

I'm waiting

I like everything now

I got this
I'm fine

waiting to find you

I see the earth change
I still stay the same

I saw the tree outside grow green again
I'm feeling weak

filled with doubt
filled with regret
filled with new insecurities

the earth wakes
falling asleep
it's raining

everything is changing

I can't adapt to anything

I'll never forgive myself for losing you

I never will

am I selfish
when I say
god won't save you

I don't know who I am

couldn't tell you my name

I'll lose you again

everyone is temporary

I'll just die

I can't be myself

call me by a name

one that doesn't suffer

I'll lose myself losing you

I stopped hearing the rain

it's sad

not being able to feel a thing

waiting for the world to end

I'll burn myself into dust

I live in two worlds
take them away

can't stand it
don't hold onto me if you fall

I'm so heartless
numb
trying to find the guilt

I keep lying
I'm the best
that's how I want it

I'm a loser

I lose everything

I lost you

lost myself too

am I crazy

why did everyone leave

all my dreams were stars

they died

surrounded by black holes

I lost all the stars to the night sky

I lost the sun too

I'm a loser

it's one of those days
I wish I could die

I'm losing my heart

I'm losing my words too

there's nothing for me to do

I'm losing myself

decaying

into dust

I'm losing my mind

losing my voice

I have nothing to say

is this envy
jealousy

I want to hate this feeling
am I possessive or protective
are both too controlling

I'm hiding all of my emotions
I can't let her notice

don't get lost inside
it's a long way down

why do you need someone else
am I not enough
can I be the only one

is this lust
what's the difference

I love the feeling
can you feel it

I want to fall apart
to build myself up again

I'm sorry I don't know how to love you properly

I can see the hesitation in your eyes
I'm hiding behind mine

all the words I want to say come to mind
when I talk they spin on my tongue
I'm dumbfounded
it's no fun

I wish I could love you properly
to show you how much you mean to me

forgive me
I'll try my best
hold my hands
feel my heartbeat
I love you believe me

who am I
forgot my name
losing myself again

you are beautiful
you're insane
you are the most broken person I've met

a hurricane
a violent rain

I'm cursed to stay by your side
all the bad in my life
starts inside you

you're a disaster
chaotic
painful

two faced
liar
I can never trust you

you play mind games
I believed I loved you
now it feels fake

the knives you carry on your back
are yours

I made a mistake
I stepped into your life
now trapped inside your reflection
I've become your shadow

you're horrific
a piece of art

from a distance
I can admire you

you are
you are
you are

all

I think the devil is after me
can feel it in my bones
everytime I'm alone
someone crawls into my head
filled with demons he sends
he tells them to stay still
slowly I'll destroy myself

I wish I was more of a man
to tell you of the end

I think I'm a bad child
talking behind her back
thinking she deserves it

I think I'm a bad sibling
I don't care for my sister
she can give me the world
but I'd never let her in mine

I think I'm a bad friend
always lying and running away
mistaking the space I give
I'm just avoiding the conversation

I think I'm a bad person
smiling at other's pain
I can't comfort you on a bad day

keep it up
I've been left alone
losing everyone
my heart slows down

let's go to dark places
soft glowing lights reflecting on our faces

I'll accept
you won't stay this time

leave me here
I'll die alone I know

let's stay quiet
forget about the noises
soak in the silence

hold your breath
longer
until your lungs burn

I'm hopeless
just hold your breath
more time
I'll tell you when I'm fine

will you take care of yourself
do I have to grow up so fast

I'm never fine
let's avoid the daylight
I can feel my skin sting

don't ask questions

the pressure rains down
I feel so down
it's a long way down now
hold your breath

let me rest

maybe today
I want to wear a dress
or tall shoes

dressed however I want
not the way you want me to

I'll grow my hair
or cut it short
your opinion doesn't matter anymore

I don't care for those who stare
you are my blood
won't you accept me

I'm hiding
it's tiring

sad thing

I hide for your sake
not mine

hurts when I cry

I know these aren't my last tears

it's only wednesday

I believe I have two hearts

overflowing with anxiety

I fall outside catching my breath

hurts to cry

I won't tell you why

nothing I wish for comes true

maybe I deserve this misery

maybe I don't

I wonder
is there somewhere I can love you freely

you know I'd let you rip my heart in half

my heart is bitter
as
the coffee
you make for me

one more time
I lied to you

this house is not a home
you're so ungrateful

my heart is dark
like the coffee you make for me

take all the good pieces of me
look now the monster you made of me

partly afraid
you'll drown without me

I'll untie myself
hold onto someone else

asking questions
with answers
she and I both know

I'll miss drinking coffee in the morning years from now

hug my bones
still cold

I cut off my tongue
long ago

there's something wrong
there's something wrong with me

not even I
or you can see

my veins are lovely
why do I want to cut them open

don't worry about it
the pain will fade

even if everybody knows
don't cry

oh my mistake
I know it's all my fault